Saint Stephen of Hungary (Optional Memorial
If my brother sins against me, how often must I forgive him? (Matthew 18:21)
Peter probably didn’t ask this question out of idle curiosity. Something Jesus said or some incident provoked Peter to ask about the boundaries of forgiveness.
It’s amazing how many angry or resentful thoughts against people are able to bounce around in our heads. It’s not that we like having these negative thoughts. But we may not know how to get free of them, or we may not be ready to forgive.
When Peter asked Jesus, “How many times must I forgive?” Jesus basically said, “Every time.” He said that we have to be like our Father, who never stops offering us his mercy.
To illustrate this point, Jesus told a parable about an unforgiving servant. This man, who was forgiven a large debt, was unwilling to forgive a very small debt from his fellow servant. That’s why the master asked him, “Should you not have had pity on your fellow servant, as I had pity on you?” (Matthew 18:33).
According to the logic of love, forgiveness ought to breed forgiveness, and mercy ought to breed mercy. But this unforgiving servant followed his own self-centered logic. He believed that mercy received had nothing to do with mercy given.
God is asking us to be merciful to each other. That’s easy to say, but it can be hard to do. We should be able to let go, at least of the smaller hurts of life. Let’s not let petty pride get the better of us. Let’s forgive instead.
When it comes to larger hurts, it can be difficult if not impossible to forgive completely. But here are four simple steps we can take that may help us: first, thank Jesus for being so merciful to you. Second, tell Jesus that you want to forgive the one who hurt you, but that it hurts too much to forgive just now. Third, know that Jesus is with you. He knows how much you are hurting. He understands. He still loves you. Finally, ask Jesus for the grace to forgive over time.
Sometimes the deep hurts of life can take months or years to be healed. Jesus knows this, and he understands. He is infinitely patient, just as he is infinitely generous with his own grace and mercy.
“Lord, help me to forgive everyone.”
Ezekiel 12:1-12
Psalm 78:56-59, 61-62
Saint John-Paul II
Pope from 1978 to 2005
Encyclical “ Dives in misericordia ” ch. 7, §14 (© Libreria Editrice Vaticana)
"Should you not have had pity on your fellow servant"
Paul VI more than once indicated the civilization of love" as the goal towards which all efforts in the cultural and social fields as well as in the economic and political fields should tend. it must be added that this good will never be reached if in our thinking and acting concerning the vast and complex spheres of human society we stop at the criterion of "an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth" (Ex 21:24; Mt 5:38) and do not try to transform it in its essence, by complementing it with another spirit. Certainly, the Second Vatican Council also leads us in this direction, when it speaks repeatedly of the need to make the world more human,(GS 40) and says that the realization of this task is precisely the mission of the Church in the modern world.
Society can become ever more human only if we introduce into the many-sided setting of interpersonal and social relationships, not merely justice, but also that "merciful love" which constitutes the messianic message of the Gospel. Society can become "ever more human" only when we introduce into all the mutual relationships which form its moral aspect the moment of forgiveness, which is so much of the essence of the Gospel. Forgiveness demonstrates the presence in the world of the love which is more powerful than sin. Forgiveness is also the fundamental condition for reconciliation, not only in the relationship of God with man, but also in relationships between people. A world from which forgiveness was eliminated would be nothing but a world of cold and unfeeling justice, in the name of which each person would claim his or her own rights vis-a- vis others...
For this reason, the Church must consider it one of her principal duties-at every stage of history and especially in our modern age-to proclaim and to introduce into life the mystery of mercy, supremely revealed in Jesus Christ.