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Wow -Thank You for that T & R... that is some powerful testimony for sure. I don't see where or how your work runs afoul of the Church or with its doctrine though- if that's what you are feeling. Yout shouldnt.
Newman said :

“Conscience is not a longsighted selfishness, nor a desire to be consistent with oneself, but it is a messenger from Him (God), who, both in nature and in grace, speaks to us behind a veil, and teaches and rules us by His representative, a monarch in its peremptoriness. Conscience is the aboriginal Vicar of Christ, a prophet in its informations, a monarch in its peremptoriness, a priest in its blessings and anathemas, and, even through the eternal priesthood throughout the Church could cease to be, in the sacerdotal principle would remain and would have a say.”

To be clear, when Newman is talking about "conscience" he equates to "dutiful obedience to what claims to be a divine voice"- A TOTAL Trusting in God - where God speaks TO US... not through some human ideal, opinion or desire..no,no... Its HOW God is speaking to you as that person you are with is dying.. And no Clerical form can seek to hinder that...agreed..

The Church agrees with the meta-physical natures you describe- although our prideful limited human ideals - will attempt to confine the Spirituality of the Faith as manifested in the ways you describe- the Deposit of Faith cannot.
Anyone who says with an absolute definitiveness of how "this is to come" are just fooling themselves. We have been told what to expect, and how to prepare for it - but exactly how that comes about for each of us, we can never know. Though many pretend they "know". There will be suprises !, as CS says.

You see that clearly with those who are knowingly bout to depart this world.

You are a saint, to willing share in the suffering of those- having to go down into the dark dysfunction of our human failings just as Christ did for us on the Cross... but while its easy for me to say - It IS a blessing from God for you to be able to share in their death- as we do in Christ's.

While envy may not be the first emotion people you share your life and story with- it should be. You inspire.