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Have you ever tried explaining the risks and consequences of their actions, according to Catholicism? Or has your method worked 100 percent of the time from the very first time you ever performed this service, and so you've never had the need or curiousity to try educating these people on the faith that they're marrying within? Do you care, one way or the other, whether or not they know it's a mortal sin? Do you care, one way or the other, whether or not they stop this mortal sin? Do you think they are in danger of hell? Or do you think that, technically, yes it's the official teaching of the Catholic Church that they are committing mortal sin, but really, in God's eyes, it's not that big of a deal, and they just don't know any better, and you are sure that it has no affect on their salvation, and their actions are doing zero harm to the state of their souls and the measure of grace within them?

Why don't you counsel some engaged couples, and see if your approach allows you to have a fruitful discussion with them? See if it furthers the dialogue you've managed to build up over time.

I've explained to you what I do, but you don't like it. You want me to do what you would do.

No need to blow a gasket because we're not talking about eternal damnation to engaged couples.

No need to blow a gasket because we're not talking about eternal damnation to engaged couples.

After I posted my last one, I regretted it because I figured you would mistakenly associate my numerous questions with "blowing a gasket." I assure you that I'm happily eating my Nong shim noodles as I wade through inches and inches of copy for tomorrow's edition of the Honolulu Star-Bulletin. And intermittently I'm thinking of the swell that's supposed to hit the south shore tomorrow and wondering if I'll be able to catch any of it before I have to work tomorrow afternoon. I'm about as far away from blowing a gasket as I am from the West Coast.

They were sincere questions that I posted, and I asked them in earnest; I'm trying to understand your thought process that allows you to withold this truth from them, which in my eyes is a grievous mistake on your part. I'm asking these questions to try to understand better where you're coming from.