This will be very useful for the proper preparation of the subjects for their entrance into the Holy Piranha Baptismal Pool. May I suggest the Pool used be the largest of those new "running water" fountains mutilating our Churches? The peaceful gurgling brook noise these give off can only help intensify the moment as the Subject thinks back to his peaceful and long past childhood, a peace he will very soon never again experience.
Also, at the portion of the ceremonial that is bolded below, I entreat His Fishiness Pope Piel to add to the solemnity of the occasion by making this the point of application of the Abner Louima Memorial Toilet Plunger by Officer Volpe as Director of Pain of the St. Torquemada American Inn and Disposition House of Waywar Clerics, under the supervision of Calvinist_Dark_Lord of course; every Grand Inquisitor needs his experienced hooded assistants. I think the Holy Ghost inspired that the word "Rape" ("violasti" in the Latin) was not put there for naught, but for this very situation.
We may have to do something about intensifying the "light scraping" with a knife or glass in this ceremony too. Maybe heavy cutting would be more appropriate.
What say you, Holiness? And do I have the job of Master of Liturgical Ceremonies for these joyous celebrations yet? I'm very good with Books, Bells, Smells, and Maces - 23 years of experience!
DEGRADTION OF THE BISHOPIf the degradandus (the person to be degraded) is an archbishop, the degrator (the Pope or a papel substitute) removes the man's pallium (archiepiscopal stole), saying:
"WE DEPRIVE YOU OF ALL THE PREROGATIVES (RIGHTS AND PRIVILEGES) OF THE PONTIFICAL DIGNITY, OF WHICH THIS PALLIUM IS A SYMBOL, BECAUSE YOU HAVE ABUSED THEM."
Next, whether the degradandus is archbishop or mere bishop, the degradator removes the man's miter, saying:
"THE MITER, EMBLEM OF THE PONTIFICAL DIGNITY, IS HEREBY REMOVED FROM YOUR HEAD, BECAUSE YOUR EVIL ADMINISTRATION HAS DISGRACED IT."
Next, one of the assistants gives the degradandus the book of the Gospel, which the degradator pulls from the man's hands, saying:
"GIVE THE GOSPEL BACK, BECAUSE, DESPISING GOD'S GRACE, YOU MADE YOURSELF UNWORTHY OF THE PREACHING OFFICE, OF WHICH YOU ARE HEREWITH PROPERLY DEPRIVED."
Next, the degradator removes the degradandus' ring, saying:
"IT IS PROPER FOR US TO PULL OFF THIS RING, THE SIGN OF FAITHFULNESS, BECAUSE YOU HAVE SHAMELESSLY RAPED GOD'S VERY OWN BRIDE, HIS CHURCH."
Next, one of the assistants gives the degradandus a crosier, which the degadator takes from the man's hand, saying:
"WE TAKE FROM YOU THE SHEPHERD'S STAFF, TO INDICATE THAT YOU NO LONGER HAVE ANY CLAIM TO THE PASTORAL OFFICE YOU HAVE MISMANAGED."
Next, the assistants take off the degradandus' gloves, after which the degradator lightly scrapes the man's thumbs and hands with a little knife or a piece of glass, saying:
"TO THE FULL EXTENT OF OUR POWERS, WE HEREWITH DEPRIVE YOU OF THE POWER TO SPIRITUALLY BLESS AND MYSTICALLY ANOINT, AND HEREBY REMOVE YOU FROM ANY OFFICE TO WHICH THIS POWER IS ATTACHED."
Next, with the same knife or glass, the degradator lightly scrapes the degradandus' head, saying:
"WE HEREWITH COMPLETELY ERASE THE CONSECRATION, THE BLESSING AND THE ANOINTING PREVIOUSLY BESTOWED UPON YOU, AND WE HEREWITH EXPEL YOU FROM THE PONTIFICAL ORDER FOR WHICH YOU PROVED YOURSELF UNFIT."
Next, the assistants remove the degradandus' shoes.
The Anathema Maranatha ceremony (ending - "Let him be stricken with anathema maranatha, i.e. may he be damned at the coming of the Lord, may he have his place with Judas Iscariot, he and his companions. Amen.") would then follow, after which the Subject would be lowered into the pool.