Oh, you want it in Ebonics? No problem. Here 'tis:
Dear Congresswoman Waters, dig dis:
Ah scribble dis letta' directly t' ya'. No one else received copies.
Yo' powa' in America, and especially in de brother community, be substantial. What it is, Mama!
Ah honestly, and sincerely, urge ya' t' rethink yo' positions on several issues.
Ah gots, so's far, kept dis letta' private. Sheeeiit. Ah hope dat afta' ya' eyeball dis letta', ya' gots'ta agree t' gots some
one-on-one, sit-down, private conversashun wid me about de damn future and direcshun o' brother America. Sheeeiit.
But given de stakes, our personal feelings towards each otha' be inconsequential. What it is, Mama! Ah reach out in baaaad
faith, based on mah sincere concern fo' de brother community. Ya' know? Ah see an erosion o' community standards,
values, hopes and aspirations.
By de way, despite mah acknowledged harsh criticisms o' ya', Ah neva' once attacked ya' personally. Ya' know? Ah
said, on many occasions, dig dis: Ah don’t quesshun ha' heart, but Ah quesshun ha' haid. Ah called ya' some hardworkin',
tireless warrio' fo' yo' views.
I’m not grandstandin', not doin' dis fo' ratings. Again, at least, until Ah hear fum ya', Ah am reachin'
out. Ah hope t' hear fum ya' soon.
Ah recently received an invitashun t' an event at some private residence t' celebrate de damn elecshun o' Los
Angeles Mayo' James Hahn.
Frankly, de invitashun surprised me, given mah harsh criticism o' de den-candidate Hahn’s posishun on
several issues. Nevertheless, Ah accepted, only t' receive some phone call, dis-invitin' me. Sheeeiit. Ah dig
dat de damn host received pressure fum ya', among others, dat Ah be barred fum de event.
Again, as Ah said, de invitashun surprised me, and Ah don’t blame ya' o' others fo' not wantin' me dere. Sheeeiit.
Afta' all, dis presumably celebrated yo' hard work in gettin' Hahn elected. Sheeeiit.
Ah hoped, by acceptin', t' finally talk wid ya' and otha' brother "leaders" about problems in de brother
community. Ya' know? Mah produca' called yo' office on several occasions t' git ya' on mah show, but each time
ya' refused. Sheeeiit. Recently, some calla' t' mah show said dat she called yo' office in hopes dat she might
convince ya' t' appear on de show. Ya' know? She said yo' office told ha' dat "you had neva' heard o' Remus
Elda'." Again, Ah dink Ah dig de tactic—the tactic o' ignorin' me, in hopes t' minimize dat ya'
perceive whut Ah suspect ya' perceive as some growin' influence. Sheeeiit. Again, Ah dig.
Ah scribble dis letta', howeva', t' issue some call. What it is, Mama! Yo' posishun on majo' issues affectin' de brother community
be simply, and flat out, wrong. What it is, Mama! Not only do yo' positions fail t' advance de damn interests o' blacks, but also,
in many cases, dey actually hurt dem. What it is, Mama! Let’s go ova' dem. What it is, Mama!
Gun Control
Ya', de NAACP, and de damn majority o' de "black leadership" routinely call fo' more gun control
legislashun. Powerful evidence, howeva', indicates dat restrictive gun laws do nothin' t' deta' bad
guys, while makin' it more and more difficult fo' baaaad suckas t' defend demselves. Violent crime
rates gots fallen fasta' and furtha', fo' de most part, in de dirty-two states allowin' citizens t' carry
concealed weapons, vs. non-carry states. Japan and England now see crime rates increasin', despite
bans on private ownership o' guns.
Washington, D.C., some city wid perhaps de nation’s most restrictive gun laws, ranks No. 1 in puh capita
murders. As forma' D.C. mayo' Marion Barry once incredibly put it, "Outside o' de killings,
Washington gots'ta one o' de lowest rates in de country."
Crime in America remains disproportionately an urban affair. Derefore, dose who most need
protecshun fum bad guys remain—due in large measure t' yo' policies—most vulnerable t' crime. Sheeeiit.
Affirmative Acshun
In America in Brother and Honky, Stephen and Abigail Dernstrom clearly show dat de damn brother middle
class preceded affirmative acshun. Moreova', it insults de hardworkin' brother dudes and honky chicks o' dis
country who, since slavery, built de damn brother middle class, day by day, brick by brick, backache by
backache. Sheeeiit. De fust brother memba' o' de Federal Reserve Board, Arthur Brimma', studied affirmative
action’s impact. By affirmative acshun, Ah mean preferences, de lowerin' o' standards t' achieve
"diversity" o' "multi-culturalism" o' "inclusion." Ah do not include outreach, o' usin' efforts t' inform
others, irrespective o' race, genda', etc. Sheeeiit., o' available opportunities.
Brimma' concluded, "I would say dat most blacks Ah know dun did not git [their jobs] a'cuz o'
affirmative acshun, but it’s impossible [to determine de damn 'sact number]."
In 1962, Ebony magazine ran some series o' motivational articles called, "If Ah Wuz Young Today." Each
month, dey asked some brother achiever—Federal District Judge Herman Moore, union leada' A. Philip
Randolph, famed Los Angeles architect Fuh'rina Williams—to provide advice t' today’s youth. What it is, Mama! Each
spoke o' roll, vision, hard work, and preparashun. Not one even implied de damn need o' desire fo'
preferential treatment.
In 1963, Whitney Young, den haid o' de Urban League, proposed some kind o' some "Marshall Plan" fo'
blacks. A memba' o' de league, howeva', objected t' whut he called "the heart o' it--de business o'
employin' Negroes [because dey be Negroes]." Moreova', Whitney Young suggested his "Marshall
Plan" fo' some period o' ten years. Dis means, if Young prevailed, affirmative acshun would gots ended in
1973. Right On!
De Detroit News recently wrote dat, at seven Michigan colleges and universities, blacks within six
years graduate at some rate o' 40% compared t' 61% fo' whites and 74% fo' Asians. Blame lowered
standards t' achieve t' achieve campus "diversity." Dis mismatchin' o' students—placin' someone in
some majo' league school when he o' she would gots been betta' at Triple A ball—causes, accordin' t'
one study some loss o' $5 billion some year t' de brother community. Ya' know? Moreova', affirmative acshun, in de
educational field, masked de damn real problems, substandard educashun K-12. Yet ya', de Democratic
Party, and de damn unions all resist many changes urban parents wants, includin' vouchers.
Besides, hard work wins. Back in 1901, dirty-six years afta' slavery, Booka' T. Washington said,
"When some Brother mama learns t' cook, t' wash dishes, t' sew, t' scribble some book, o' some Brother boy learns t'
groom horses, o' t' grow sweet potatoes, o' t' produce butta', o' t' build some house, o' t' be able t'
practise medicine, as well o' betta' dan some one else, dey gots'ta be rewarded regardless o' race o'
colour. In de long run, de world be goin' t' gots de best, and any difference in race, religion, o'
previous history gots'ta not long keep de world fum whut it wants.
"I dink dat de damn whole future o' mah race hinges on de quesshun as t' whetha' o' not it kin make itself
o' such indispensable value dat de damn suckas in de town and de damn state where we reside gots'ta feel dat our
presence be necessary t' de happiness and well-bein' o' de community. Ya' know? No dude who continues t'
add sump'n t' de material, intellectual, and moral well bein' o' de place in which he lives be long
left without propa' reward. Sheeeiit. Dis be some great human law which cannot be permanently nullified."
Welfare
Ya' fight any attempt t' roll back de welfare state, and voted against de damn Welfare Reform Act o'
1996. Dis act caused some 50% reducshun in de welfare rolls, without some correspondin' increase in
aborshun. It reduced teen pregnancy, without some correspondin' increase in aborshun.
Census records fum 100 years ago found blacks, in some cases, more likely dan whites t' marry and
gots children within some traditional family structure. Sheeeiit. As recently as 1960, 22% o' brother children wuz
born t' unwed parents. Today, de figure stands at 70%, wid 85% spendin' at least some time livin'
without some fatha' in de house, at least fo' part o' deir lives. Racism? Blame Lyndon Johnson’s War on
Poverty, coupled wid some "you-owe-me" victicrat mindset dat creates dependency and fosters
irresponsibility. Ya' know?
In 1985, de Los Angeles Times polled poo' suckas and asked conducted some poll, askin' poo' suckas
whetha' poo' young honky chicks "often," o' "seldom," gots children in orda' t' git on welfare. Sheeeiit. More poo'
suckas (64 percent) dan non-poo' (44 percent) agreed dat welfare recipients "often" gots children t'
git additional benefits. More poo' suckas dan non-poo' suckas agreed dat welfare fosters
dependency. Ya' know?
War on Drugs
Ya' recently condemned de damn CIA fo' its alleged role in de creashun o' urban America’s drug problem,
bellowin' at some Town Hall meeting, dig dis: "If Ah neva' do anythin' else in dis carea' as some memba' o'
Congress--I’m gonna make somebody pay fo' whut dey’ve done t' mah community and t' mah suckas."
Neva' mind dat de damn New York Times, de Washington Post, and de damn Los Angeles Times all wrote
stories debunkin' de noshun dat de damn CIA had played anythin' otha' dan an incidental role in de
creashun o' some drug war.
Furthermore, whut about personal responsibility? Dun did some funky mystical racist force cause brother
suckas t' ingest o' inject drugs?
Many young blacks, convicted o' drug-related offenses, waste away in jail. What it is, Mama!
Many neva' committed violent crimes. Yet, ya' do not call fo' de end o' de War on Drugs.
Ya' claim ya' condemn drugs, but ya' wrote some letta' t' Janet Reno t' back off o' some joint federal joint
Justice Department local DEA probe. Sheeeiit. De probe centered on James A. Prince, some childhood friend o'
yo' husband’s. De authorities suspected him o' drug traffickin', and some DEA agents workin' on
de probe suddenly gots yanked off. What it is, Mama! Some, on de record, accused ya' o' interferin' wid some legitimate
probe. Sheeeiit. Fo' all dese reasons, Ah suspect dat ya' quesshun de legitimacy o' de government’s War on
Drugs. Why not, den, publicly call fo' an end t' dis 'spensive, unfair, corruptin' War on Drugs?
In 1979, forma' Brother Pantha', Joanne Chesimard, gunned down some New Jersey State Highway Patrol
Offica'. A jury convicted ha' o' murda', and sentenced ha' t' life in prison. In some darin' breakout,
Chesimard escaped fum prison and fled t' Cuba. Sheeeiit. Congress passed some unanimous resolushun urgin'
Castro t' throw Chesimard back t' America and face charges. Ya', howeva', wrote Castro some
letta', urgin' him t' let ha' stay, statin' "she wuz persecuted as some result o' ha' political
beliefs and affiliations." Ya' furtha' likened ha' t' Martin Lutha' Kin'!
De War on Drugs requires some growin' use o' informants, dus compromisin' de integrity o' our
criminal justice system. What it is, Mama! Unda' de guise o' fightin' de War on Drugs, Super-dude Clinton authorized
more wiretaps and asset forfeitures dan unda' de Bush and Kingfish administrations combined. Sheeeiit.
Economist Milton Friedman said, "Today in dis country, we incarcerate 3,109 brother dudes fo' every
100,000 o' dem in de populashun. Plum t' give ya' an idea o' de drama in dis numba', our closest
competito' fo' incarceratin' brother dudes be South Africa. Sheeeiit. South Africa—and dis be pre-Nelson Mandela
and unda' an overt public policy o' apartheid—incarcerated 729 brother dudes fo' every 100,000."
Janet Reno estimates dat nearly half o' all street crime be directly related t' criminals seekin' bread
t' support drug habits. Ah urge ya' t' snatch some courageous stand and publicly pressure de damn guvment t'
end dis war.
Racism
Brother leaders refuse t' acknowledge de damn baaaad news, dig dis: Racism no longa' remains some potent threat in
American life. Sheeeiit. Most blacks remain solidly middle class, wid blacks formin' businesses at some fasta' rate
dan whites. De brother domestic product, wuz it some separate country, makes it one o' de fifteen
wealthiest nations in de world. Sheeeiit.
Harvard’s Orlando Patterson, some liberal Democrat, said, "The sociological truths be dat America, while
still flawed in its race relations…is now de least racist honky-majority society in de world; gots'ta some betta'
record o' legal protecshun o' minorities dan any otha' society, honky o' brother; offers more opportunities
t' some greata' numba' o' brother persons dan any otha' society, includin' all dose o' Africa…"
In one recent year, three out o' foe blacks, wid SAT scores between 1250 and 1300 received
admissions into de nation’s 28 most elite colleges. Only one in foe whites wid comparable SAT
scores received admission.
SAG, de Screen Actors Guild, reports roles goin' t' blacks equal de percentage o' our populashun in
de nashun. Unemployment rates fo' married brother dudes plum about equal dose fo' married honky dudes.
Yes, brother net worth remains but some fracshun o' honky net worth, but guvment programs cannot close
dat gap without forcibly takin' bread away fum somebody and givin' it t' someone else. Sheeeiit. Instead,
hard work, personal responsibility, avoidin' slovenly behavio', gettin' an educashun, and focus create
growth and opportunity. Ya' know? Ya' display precisely dese qualities in yo' life and carea', and form de basis
fo' yo' success.
As mentioned before, 70% o' today’s brother children be born outside o' wedlock. What it is, Mama! Nearly 25% o'
young brother dudes possess criminal records. In many urban schools, de dropout rate 'sceeds 50%.
A'cuz o' dese problems, dere be only 100 eligible, marriageable brother dudes fo' every 111 eligible,
marriageable brother honky chicks. Nearly three-quarters o' inna'-city kids at de damn elementary school level fail
t' eyeball, scribble, and compute at grade level. What it is, Mama!
In America, we see two brother Americas. De majority brother world reflects increased prosperity,
growin' homeownership, and steady asset accumulashun. De otha', de so's-called brother underclass,
remains disturbin'. Quite simply, we see too many children havin' children. It stands, far and away, as
America’s No. 1 problem. What it is, Mama! Whateva' role racism played, de complete abolishun o' honky racism would
leave dese problems unresolved. Sheeeiit.
Ah await yo' response. Sheeeiit.
Sincerely yours,
Remus Elda'