By swapping spit with this slack-jawed, snaggletoothed bag of doughnuts, Oxfordian Ian Klause hereby qualifies as the most heterosexual man on Planet Earth. There isn't enough ugly in the day to describe Chelsea.
"What do the Clintons and the City of Boston have in common?"
"They both have ugly Chelseas."
That girl was beat with a bag of wet squirrels.