[OBAFGKM]

All possible local hidden variable models have been disproven by experiment.

Not so. Bohm's pilot wave model is a perfectly viable hidden variable model. In fact, I seem to recall Bell having been influenced by it in deriving his theorem.

[Physicist]

But that's not local. It has the same "black magic" lurking behind it as any other interpretation. Things like particle decays are still ultimately random (although the correlations between them are non-locally causal in that model).

My problem with it is that it posits a new process--the pilot wave--that isn't mathematically necessary to explain the observed data.