[Fred Mertz]

"If you put that up, it will be bad feng shui!" said Nancy Bennett, an expert called to testify against construction. "They are cutting off the mouth of Qi."

Can someone translate this for me?

[KC_Conspirator]

No doubt she knows the most famous Marin County product; Johnny Taliban Walker.

[fourdeuce82d]

Can someone translate this for me?

"I am an idiot"

or "Hot tub induced hyperthermia kills brain cells"

or "stop me before I gibber again"

or "had a clue, but I spilled bong water on it and it doesn't work anymore..."

[Bloody Sam Roberts]

"Can someone translate this for me? "

It means "May I mambo dogface to the banana patch now? "

[Oldeconomybuyer]

"Qi" means "energy" in feng shui lingo.

[Billthedrill]

Can someone translate this for me?

Glad to oblige - in ancient Chinese it means "I've got this great gig spouting profound-sounding nonsense to morons who lap it up, and if I can squeeze a few shekels out of the rubes by telling them the spirits don't dig on a new cop-shop, why, who's to tell 'em any different?"

Of course, it's a rough translation...

[habs4ever]

Fred, is she the one who's your new interior decorator??

[Paul Atreides]

Can someone translate this for me?

It translates into: California is America's version of France.

Funny how even the silliest jokes about California turn out to be true.