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Trying To Achieve Peace The Ono Way She Knows How
ToogoodReports ^ | March 7, 2002 | Doug Powers

Posted on 03/07/2002 11:19:22 AM PST by Starmaker

Yoko Ono, wife of late Beatle John Lennon and “singer” whose shriek has been known to cause pigeons to fly into windows, has rented a billboard in London that reads, “Imagine all people living life in peace.” There, that ought to do it. We can all rest well now, right? I doubt it. That song's over thirty years old, if it hasn't done any good yet, do you really think writing it down so that a cashier at a gift shop in Piccadilly Square can read it is going to stomp out the threat of global nuclear holocaust? The trouble with that mindset is…she does.

According to Ono, “The world certainly needs peace and a lot of love now.” Agreed. Apparently it didn't need it back when she and John were setting Columbian forest fires in their living room, which in turn must have helped usher ruthless leaders of drug cartels to their seat in the lap of luxury. The last time I checked, drug dealers weren't too big into the peace movement. Forget London, Yoko, put your billboard in the Medellin Cartel's backyard. Say hi to some of Aaron Sorkin and Woody Harrelson's money while you're there, too.

But why put these billboards in London, New York, Tokyo, etc? Why not put them where they really belong, in Afghanistan, Somalia, Iraq, Iran, North Korea and yes, the backyard of drug cartels? That's an easy question to answer. Because she'd get killed, thrown in jail for life, or worse, sentenced to listen to one of her own albums.

The reason I tend to take a personal offense to billboards such as this is because I feel as if we're being assigned a portion of the blame. We need to give peace a chance? We were giving peace a chance, but then a bunch of crazies hijacked airplanes and took innocent lives. The approach is so classic. Don't assign blame to the guilty, but instead assign shame to the innocent. It's easier than approaching the guilty, and you can still delude yourself into thinking you did something. If al-Queda were an angry husband and the United States the battered spouse, Ono would plead with America to end the madness. "Stop Burning His Dinner!" would read the Yoko financed billboard outside our house. It isn't any wiser to give peace a chance than it is to leave your doors unlocked and give burglars a chance.

You have to remember though, Ono comes from a mindset that actually believed that true global change could be brought about by lying in bed for a weekend. If that's indeed the case, I´ll bet tens of thousands of unemployed lazy bums in this country were thrilled to learn that they were playing a major role in the peace movement.

We all participate in symbolism from time to time though. A day after the September 11th terrorist attacks, 200 members of congress, some democrat, some republican, most overweight, stood on the Capitol steps and sang “G-d Bless America” in a dramatic show of unity. The event was intended to send a message to terrorists that Americans stand together in times of crisis. But was anything compromised as a result, besides atheism and the structural integrity of the Capitol steps? We were. Joe Citizen. That little bit of symbolism gave us the false impression that from that day forward, things would be different and congress would now work together to defeat a common enemy. Less than six months after that day, there is a bitter divide over funding for the war on terrorism, and even a debate on whether or not this war should go on. Much of this is being brought forth in a very careful way by presidential wannabe Tom Daschle, who knows he faces the Herculean task of convincing us that he's not a weasel.

Since Lennon's peace-prodding tunes "Imagine" and "Give Peace A Chance" came out over thirty years ago, we've had Vietnam, the tragedy at the Olympic games in Munich, the hostage crisis in Iran, embassy bombings, hijackings, continuous violence in the Middle East, and constant terrorist attacks around the world. Why isn't it working? The answer is simple. Terrorists, criminals and despots clearly don't listen to enough FM radio. Instead of billboards, Yoko should put her money into buying radio stations in some of the countries that breed violence, and cover up that "Imagine all people living in peace" billboard with "WONO 104.5 Rocks Mogadishu!" Since she thinks those songs do so much to promote peace, she could pump them out 24/7. Peace message out. Violence over.

One must be careful though in trying to convince Yoko that her superficial and poorly targeted attempts at peace make no difference. She may start agreeing, and the next thing you know you'll be strolling through Central Park and see her latest piece of art — a statue dedicated to the futility of symbolism.

To comment on this article or express your opinion directly to the author, you are invited to e-mail Doug at comedywriter@voyager.net .


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Editorial
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To: riley1992
Because Yoko Ono is an idiot.

I agree, but I can forgive her because she has such a great singing voice.

21 posted on 03/07/2002 12:15:42 PM PST by Cagey
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To: Starmaker
While grocery shopping around Christmas time, I heard that awful song "And So This is Christmas/War is Over" playing in the store. I know war is nothing to make fun of, but I almost busted a gut laughing at the irony of it!
22 posted on 03/07/2002 12:23:13 PM PST by Nathan Jr.
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To: Cagey

23 posted on 03/07/2002 12:27:55 PM PST by riley1992
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To: riley1992; cagey
You guys are so superficial! It's not her voice; it's not her beauty; it's Yoko's overwhelming intellect that has everyone in awe!


24 posted on 03/07/2002 12:32:55 PM PST by RippleFire
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To: Nathan Jr.
While grocery shopping around Christmas time, I heard that awful song "And So This is Christmas/War is Over" playing in the store. I know war is nothing to make fun of, but I almost busted a gut laughing at the irony of it!

And of cours that song, or rather that tune with different words, has been promoting Jamaican tourism for years--in fact, since before Lennon was murdered, it seems to me.

25 posted on 03/07/2002 12:39:50 PM PST by Peter Porcupine
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To: RippleFire
Doctor Ono. It has a certain flair to it.
26 posted on 03/07/2002 12:44:46 PM PST by Cagey
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To: Bigg Red
MAN,THAT IS ABOUT THE UGLIEST WOMAN I'VE EVER SEEN!SHE IS A WOMAN ISN'T SHE?
27 posted on 03/07/2002 1:10:27 PM PST by INSENSITIVE GUY
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To: Starmaker
Did you know that YOno is a Scouse by injection?
28 posted on 03/07/2002 1:20:08 PM PST by scouse
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To: INSENSITIVE GUY
I'd direct you to the cover of John and Yoko's album Two Virgins, but I don't know how recently you've eaten.
29 posted on 03/07/2002 1:21:54 PM PST by Peter Porcupine
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To: RippleFire; Cagey

30 posted on 03/07/2002 1:41:53 PM PST by riley1992
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To: pray4liberty
It also says "Imagine there's no Heaven."

Bin Laden's followers would've loved that!

Yes, they'd be flummoxed if that were true--but it's paired with "no Hell below us." Surely some of them already know the falsity of THAT.

31 posted on 03/07/2002 1:52:14 PM PST by Peter Porcupine
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