[SevenDaysInMay]

At about 5, I was in an oil field business in East Texas with my father. There was a mounted polar bear sow with a paw in a swatting position. Altho' mounted on a platform perhaps a foot high, I was as tall as the sow's knee. The owner told me that when he shot it, the bear looked as tall to him as it did me. He had fallen backwards when he saw her rush him. The sow was 8 feet tall. The old man told me that he still felt the luckiest man alive.

Churchill has some fine bear tours with "tundra" hotels on wheels, perfect for bear watching. One fool was nearly dragged through the bus window as the noses and teeth reach into the aluminum windows.

Friends who hunt bear in Alaska tell me to never hunt polar bear because they hunt you. FLIR (mil-spec forward looking infrared imaging equipment) from Cabelas would be nice for that kind of hunt. Why not spend $50K for up to a two week hunt on blinding ice.

Safety engineers on the North Slope must have their training spiced up when Polar bears take a village or two from time to time.

These bear are marvels and stupid. They do know that humans are higher on the food chain than they are.

[U S Army EOD]

When I was drunk, I also mounted a large female bear. I got love letters from her while I was in the hospital for three weeks begging me to do it again.