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To: Hodar
Maybe if people were taught early on how to treat people with respect the divorce rate would not be so high. People are so concerned with the things in life that they are throwing away the most important things of life and our society is reflecting that right now.

In the pursuit of things people dumped off their children to be raised in day care centers whose main motive was to pack in as many children as possible to keep profits up. A generation later we are reaping what we have sown.

It takes committment through the hard times to make a marriage work. People cut and run when times get tough. It takes effort dedication and a decision to put the needs of the family ahead of the needs of the individual.

39 posted on 12/11/2003 9:02:33 AM PST by CajunConservative
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To: CajunConservative
I doubt anyone would debate the way things OUGHT to be. You are correct; however we are arguing how things actually exist.

The courts, at the behest of women, have set paternity, community property, and alimony laws in place that are by definition unfair (and that is putting it very mildly). Men are screwed over by the justice system at every turn. A woman wants a divorce, she can get the most expensive attorney her husband's income can provide; he will pay for both attorneys at the end of the day. She has no limits on the amount of money she can spend, after all, her ex-husband to be will get the bills. She can demand the kids, the house, the car and nearly half of what he makes for the rest of his life, plus half of what he is worth today.

Women have worked hard, and I mean worked *&$# hard to make marriage as unappealing as possible for a logical man to consider. The legal obligations, coupled with the tax penalties mean a man (and only a man) becomes a slave, a piece of property, with little legal protection, once the license is filed; and even fewer rights if a child enters the picture. If it were not for tradition or religon, there would be no compelling reason for a logical man to even consider marriage.
51 posted on 12/11/2003 9:13:05 AM PST by Hodar (With Rights, comes Responsibilities. Don't assume one, without assuming the other.)
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To: CajunConservative
Before I go on, this entire issue is fascinating to me, frankly. There is a lack of understanding and even concern about the radical shift we've seen in what had been rather normative behavioral patters among men and women.

A root cause is, as with most things in life once you dig deep enough, economic: women are better educated and afforded greater opportunity than ever before, hence a greater sense of both self-sufficiency and selectiveness (i.e., "I don't need to marry a man to take care of me, so I'll be very choosy in determining who I am with and who I am not with.")

On the flip side, other women still "buy" into the knight in shining armor, stable family existence (which is very noble and, for millions, very gratifying) yet do not fully appreciate the impact of how "normal" it has now become to be divorced, nor the pressures brought to bear on couples these days (e.g., need for both to work, etc.)

Millions of people enter marriages fully intending to "make it work", only to have one or both partners decide it's not worth the effort. It's sad and I've seen it happen to many of my friends.

I'm a never been married, attractive professional in my early thirties, and believe me it's a jungle out here!

63 posted on 12/11/2003 9:34:10 AM PST by LincolnLover
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