The Fourteen Minute Orgasm Pill

1 posted on 12/25/2003 10:57:26 PM PST by RangerHobbit

To: RangerHobbit

Anyone else remember the Steve Martin SNL "Christmas Wish" skit?

2 posted on 12/25/2003 11:00:40 PM PST by Sir Gawain (Don't make me slap you with my pimp hand)

To: RangerHobbit

You had me going gor a minute - I gotta admit it. That was just way too funny.

3 posted on 12/25/2003 11:02:39 PM PST by dware (ingredients include mechanically separated chicken and beef parts)

4 posted on 12/25/2003 11:03:23 PM PST by dware (ingredients include mechanically separated chicken and beef parts)

Thinking of the "Orgasmtron" from Woody Allen's "Sleepers".

5 posted on 12/25/2003 11:10:13 PM PST by Semper Paratus

If I could have just one wish this holiday season, it would be for all the children to live in peace and harmony....

Martin reconsiders.

If I could have just one wish this holiday season, it would be:
That crap about the kids
World peace
revenge against my enemies
and a 30 day orgasm administered by Susan Arquette...

"I believe Ronald Reagan will return this country to what it once was. An artic wasteland covered in ice. (a jab against RR, but funny as hell!)

Also funny was Cruel Shoes, getting small!

6 posted on 12/25/2003 11:15:44 PM PST by ffusco (Maecilius Fuscus,Governor of Longovicium , Manchester, England. 238-244 AD)

To: RangerHobbit

I guess that ends the need for Woody Allen's 'Orgasmatron.'

7 posted on 12/25/2003 11:42:51 PM PST by CommandoFrank (Peer into the depths of hell and there is the face of Islam!)

To: RangerHobbit

only one more minute to go and they would have been OK

Easy come, easy go....

9 posted on 12/25/2003 11:55:30 PM PST by Smokin' Joe (This tagline manufactured in the U.S.A.)

To: RangerHobbit

I'm glad I'm not dating today. The moment would come when I would stand with a hand full of pills asking the woman, "What kind of pills are the other guys you are screwing taking, and how many"?

10 posted on 12/25/2003 11:59:04 PM PST by RLK

To: ffusco; Sir Gawain

If I had one wish that I could wish this holiday season, it would be that all the children to join hands and sing together in the spirit of harmony and peace.

If I had two wishes I could make this holiday season, the first would be for all the children of the world to join hands and sing in the spirit of harmony and peace. And the second would be for 30 million dollars a month to be given to me, tax-free in a Swiss bank account.

You know, if I had three wishes I could make this holiday season, the first, of course, would be for all the children of the world to get together and sing, the second would be for the 30 million dollars every month to me, and the third would be for encompassing power over every living being in the entire universe.

And if I had four wishes that I could make this holiday season, the first would be the crap about the kids definitely, the second would be for the 30 million, the third would be for all the power, and the fourth would be to set aside one month each year to have an extended 31-day orgasm, to be brought out slowly by Rosanna Arquette and that model Paulina-somebody, I can't think of her name. Of course my lovely wife can come too and she's behind me one hundred percent here, I guarantee it.

Wait a minute, maybe the sex thing should be the first wish, so if I made that the first wish, because it could all go boom tomorrow, then what do you got, y'know? No, no, the kids, the kids singing would be great, that would be nice. But wait a minute, who am I kidding? They're not going to be able to get all those kids together. I mean, the logistics of the thing is impossible, more trouble than it's worth!

So -- we reorganize! Here we go. First, the sex thing. We go with that. Second, the money. No, we go with the power second, then the money. And then the kids. Oh wait, oh jeez, I forgot about revenge against my enemies! Okay, I need revenge against all my enemies, they should die like pigs in hell! That would be my fourth wish. And, of course, my fifth wish would be for all the children of the world to join hands and sing together in the spirit of harmony and peace. Thank you everybody and Merry Christmas.

11 posted on 12/26/2003 12:02:41 AM PST by lowbridge ("Is it just me, or is Kwanzaa becoming way too commercialized?" -Ann Coulter)

"I think robots are stealing my luggage."

12 posted on 12/26/2003 12:05:14 AM PST by ffusco (Maecilius Fuscus,Governor of Longovicium , Manchester, England. 238-244 AD)

To: RangerHobbit

I will not buy this record, it is scratched.

13 posted on 12/26/2003 12:10:11 AM PST by SkyPilot

What? A pharmaceutical anxiety?

14 posted on 12/26/2003 12:12:21 AM PST by Smokin' Joe (This tagline manufactured in the U.S.A.)

What? A pharmaceutical anxiety?

--------------------------

Not me. I'm a senior citizen and happy to be out of the loop.

15 posted on 12/26/2003 12:25:36 AM PST by RLK

To: RangerHobbit

This seems like a bogus story. The only google link about the drug is to the global comment story that you link to.

16 posted on 12/26/2003 12:44:11 AM PST by aynrandfreak (If 9/11 didn't change you, you're a bad human being)

To: RangerHobbit

17 posted on 12/26/2003 1:05:44 AM PST by ladyinred (Have yourself a merry little Christmas!)

To: RangerHobbit

You could probably get the same effect from strychnine.

18 posted on 12/26/2003 1:06:33 AM PST by Agnes Heep

To: RangerHobbit

19 posted on 12/26/2003 1:17:59 AM PST by Centurion2000 (Resolve to perform what you ought, perform without fail what you resolve.)

To: RangerHobbit

How very true: the sexiest organ human beings have is their brain. That's where we experience our sexual and romantic feelings. Our private parts merely help us to complete the thoughts that go on in our heads.

20 posted on 12/26/2003 1:22:06 AM PST by goldstategop (In Memory Of A Dearly Beloved Friend Who Lives On In My Heart Forever)

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