You're being too reasonable.
Unfortunately there are some people who would prefer to see people die rather than ever use condoms.
Truly sad.
No, there are some people unwilling to tell them the LIE that condom use prevents AIDS.
Who is more compassionate: the Church, which tells the woman if she has marital relations with him on any regular basis, with or without a condom, she is going to get HIV and knows that to counsel ANY marital relations, WITH OR WITHOUT condom use, is condemning the woman to certain exposure?
Or you, who tells the woman to go ahead and get AIDS and die?