A labor problem made in the U.S.A.

The Pittsburgh Tribune-Review ^ | Sunday, February 29, 2004 | Patt Morrison

[Willie Green]

If this reads a bit awkwardly, it's because of a little experiment I've been conducting.

Overseas outsourcing. I'm having my column written by foreign workers.

I farm out my job to low-paid writers around the world, I get to keep most of my munificent wages, and I spend only about a half-hour on final inspection, compared to the dozen hours or more it takes to manufacture a column start to finish.

My nouns and pronouns are now made in Indonesia, verbs and adverbs in Mexico and adjectives in China. I tried subcontracting prepositions to Thailand, but someone thought I meant "propositions" and forwarded my inquiry to the Ministry of Sex Trade.

But the ideas are mine, generated right here, and that's why this column can proudly bear the words "Made in the U.S.A."

[Gekko The Great]

Or maybe inventing The Next New Thing, or The Industries Of Tomorrow. Strange how they never tell us what those are. Oh, I forgot, it's The Magic Pixie Dust solution. Just tell all those people losing their jobs to hang in there, because we know The Invisible Hand will be sprinkling that Magic Pixie Dust around real soon (meanwhile you lose your home, your family starves, and you drop to the bottom of the food chain, but that's okay, because corporate quarterly profits and stock prices are up, and that makes me money).

[FITZ]

Yet who will be expected to go in and rescue the corporations located in third world countries they do nothing to stabilize when the coup d'etat happens? Then the common American is expected to die for the corporation, at least until they can pull out.

[Orbiting_Rosie's_Head]

corporate quarterly profits and stock prices are up, and that makes me money

If there is anything left after the execs have taken their cut. These days, the only place I've been able to find the Invisible Hand is reaching into the cookie jar...

[bvw]

That's the truth. A lot of "businessmen" come into a mature biz by inheritance or just hanging-out, and then once making the decisions they decide to "cut costs". That does sell public exchange stock, maybe, but nothing else.

As you say, a rancher can literally "cut costs" to the bone! And then he's got nothing to market.

Well these modern skanks of businessmen are cutting costs to the bone and leaving no market!

[chimera]

As you say, a rancher can literally "cut costs" to the bone! And then he's got nothing to market.

You're just not thinking enough like The Compleat Capitalist. Sold out your last head of cattle? Well go out and scrape up the manure piles and sell them, you lazy bum! Leftover feed? Sell that to the local grain elevator for pennies on the dollar. Not to mention all the excess gear and equipment you can liquidate when you've laid off all your wranglers and other ranch hands. Finally, when you've sold out everything, subdivide your land and sell that to some condominium developer.

Then take your ill-gotten gains and run off to Mexico or Belize to live like a king (at least until someone comes to string you up by the neck).

[Dane]

How come you all aren't on Mel Gibson's behind for filming "The Passion of the Christ" in Italy.

He was outsourcing and is going to make some, according to you all, unpatriotic and dirty money. How come he is excluded from your tar and feather treatment.

[Lazamataz]

Wow, I can't wait until you, as an individual, spend an extra $1,000,000 (or $4,000,000) on yachts, or give it to your favorite charity,

You won't have to wait long for me to give a lot to charities. It's a requirement of my religion to tithe 10%.

or hire a few more of your otherwise unemployable friends and turn around our economy all by yourself.

Patriotism seems to annoy you. Why is that?

[Dane]

See reply #66.

[Lazamataz]

Leave it to you to come up with a completely nonsensical observation.

[Dane]

See reply #66.

Let's see if the "true economic patriots" give Mel Gibson the tar and feather treatment.

[maui_hawaii]

How do you figure Gibson was outsourcing?

[chimera]

Outsourcing the jobs of some of these Hollyweird slugs is one area I'm make an except for. Streisand, Baldwin, Penn, Clooney, et al. can all have their roles outsourced. I won't watch them, anyway.

Can we also include the President's Council of Economic Advisors on the outsourcing list, starting with Gregory Mankiw? After all, he thinks it's a great idea. I think he should volunteer to be at the head of the outsourcing list if he thinks it's so great. Lead by example, I say. Put John Snow and Elaine Chao on the short list, too. These three are costing Bush the election, so I say to hell with them.

[Dane]

Leave it to you to come up with a completely nonsensical observation.

Nonsensical? Mel Gibson probably hired Italian workers and extras for the film.

That would make him a "free traitor" in your eyes.

[Lazamataz]

I'm sorry, I'm just not in the mood for you today.

[Dane]

How do you figure Gibson was outsourcing?

He hired foreign workers didn't he. He didn't fly thousands of American citizens to Italy to be extras. He didn't use a film studio in America to film the movie, leaving such sub contractors such as caterers out of the loop.

Shouldn't he receive your tar and feather treatment for being a "free traitor".

[Dane]

I'm sorry, I'm just not in the mood for you today

IOW, Laz doesn't have a retort.

[Lazamataz]

Whatever you wanna believe. I don't care. Goodbye.

[Hidasta]

Yes! Sending you a smooch RIGHT now! :-{} Where do you want to go for dinner?

Serously though, Laz, I say "God Bless you!" Not only is outsourcing short-sighted (if Americans don't have jobs, how are they going to afford to buy foreign-made goods), it's also undermining our homeland security.

It's the short-sighted idiots who make me ill. They worship the almighty dollar, instead of working towards the betterment of this country. It makes me want to outsource them to their foreign sweatshops.

[neutrino]

You're a mensch! Thank you for hiring Americans!

[maui_hawaii]

Such a thing I would assess isn't outsourcing. Secondly, there is nothing wrong with trade. If the Italians make supercars, the Swiss make chocolates, the Norwegians make skis, thats all good. We can buy them. If we make laptops they should be able to buy our stuff too.

Your post is not even coming close to touching the issues of trade and outsourcing though.