(insert medium pitched southern accent here, tinged occasionally with a deep inflection to signify maturity) "Hi, I'm Johnny Edwards, and when I'm not promoting socialism with a Clinton-like smile on my face, I'm a U.S. Senator. Before I weasled my way into the U.S. Senate, I was an ambulance chasing trial lawyer, and I just want to thank my fellow Democrats (and some of you RINOs) for loading up that gun liability bill with lots of poison pills!
(smile even bigger) You see, when my run for the Vice-Presidency is over, I'll be able to add to my 50-Million Dollar fortune by representing more clients in frivolous "wrongful death" lawsuits against gun manufacturers. I 'preciate it, fellow Senators, I really do."