James Lileks: Worst Rock Song Ever? Give This a Spin

The Minneapolis/St Paul Star Tribune ^ | April 25, 2004 | James Lileks

[weegee]

Something by Carly Simon should certainly be on the list of "worst rock and roll". Think she isn't a rock and roller? Then why was she inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall Of Fame (oh, yeah. The museum is really just another industry pat on the back like Grammys).

[King Prout]

YOU BEAT ME TO IT.

[annyokie]

Oh, heck. I knew that was wrong. I can't remember the title of the Dr. Hook song. The refrain is "And the operator says forty cents more for the next three minutes."

[Bug]

Are you more of a Schlitz guy?? :)

No, I'm more of a chablis and brie kinda guy.

[Ready4Freddy]

Kenny Rogers

[eternity]

"Happy Birthday to You" Live version sung by Marilyn Monroe
on JFK's birthday.

[Tribune7]

I stand corrected. It's a good song.

[Iberian]

Dude, Free Bird was a classic. Skynird you got to be kidding, tell me you did't mean that. LOL

[The Radical Capitalist]

So many come to mind, but "Honey" by Bobby Goldsboro always scored high on the retchometer. In fact, just about anything by Goldsboro pinned the needle on retch.

[KarlInOhio]

I'll see your Shatner and raise you "Ballad of Bilbo Baggins" by Leonard Nimoy. The video is a trip into madness from which you might not return.

[ChinaGotTheGoodsOnClinton]

Hey philo:

I thought the same thing about the Admiral Hallsey song, until Rush redid "We so sorry, Uncle Albert" to fit the Florida mess.

The choirs was "Chads across the Water"

[Bug]

Dude, Free Bird was a classic. Skynird you got to be kidding, tell me you did't mean that. LOL

Serious as that FBI Agent knocking at your door.

[Hand em their arse]

I'm with ya, I can't remember standing on top of a chair at a Skynyrd show with a wine glass in one hand and a lit bic in the other

[Iberian]

Psycho, not quite so fast. There is "Mellow Yellow" to deal with.

[Galactic Overlord-In-Chief]

Rap. Definately a rap song.

Couldn't have said it better myself.

[macamadamia]

You are on to something. Here's what I dislike and why. It is an association thing; given other circumstances who knows...


Just An Old Fashioned Love Song = a school bus with bullies and...well...children who really didn't smell too good. Bullies of that era: enormous leather wrist bands, denim jacket and pants, hickies, yellow teeth, cigarette breath, shoes with the 2 or 3 inch heels (what the hell was that about) and...yes, scabs...that's right, they scratched their hands until they bled and never flinched because they were...tough.

One Day at a Time, Sweet Jesus (the title?) = a really disturbing funeral where several very, very obese women suddenly started shouting in tongues. (Calm down, nothing against them but this one was just......a little too intense for me.) Obviously, I had no idea what they were saying but frankly it sounded a little too much like that thing those kids on Zoom used to do.

[small voice in the wilderness]

Yep. Hands down.

With ONE exception, ofcourse. In the Year 2525, by whothehellknowsorcares. Rock's equivalent of 99 Bottles of Beer.

[Iberian]

Yes we can, this is fun!! go go go

[Mr. K]

"I don't care if it rains or freezes
'long as I got my plastic Jesus
Holding onto the dashboard of my car..."

[Bug]

I'm with ya

Good, cuz I'm taking a lot of hits out on point. Watch my back.