[TASMANIANRED]

"but was not injured, a campaign official said. "

John Kerry narrowly missed his 4th combat purple heart when he narrowly missed major injury and death as he attacked a hill with meritorious valor during his service to the country on the campaign trail.

An un-named campaign source said:" I have never seen a politician fall more heroically. He is a true credit to the nation and he served in Vietnam. He is a true patriot."

Ted Kennedy was contacted for comment, but he was unfortunately unavailable. He was last seen floating in a tub of Mint Julep's during a Kentucky derby party yesterday. His spokesman commented that it usually took 48 hrs to consume 48 pints of Burbon but he could drink gin much quicker.

Kennedy is expected to be seen screaming about something on the Senate floor on Monday. Kerry hasn't shown up all year and isn't expected..

[devolve]

[petercooper]

Ted Kennedy was contacted for comment, but he was unfortunately unavailable. He was last seen floating in a tub of Mint Julep's during a Kentucky derby party yesterday. His spokesman commented that it usually took 48 hrs to consume 48 pints of Burbon but he could drink gin much quicker.

classic!