Posted on 07/18/2004 11:39:14 AM PDT by dennisw
July 18, 2004 LIVES When One Is Enough By AMY RICHARDS as told to AMY BARRETT
I grew up in a working-class family in Pennsylvania not knowing my father. I have never missed not having him. I firmly believe that, but for much of my life I felt that what I probably would have gained was economic security and with that societal security. Growing up with a single mother, I was always buying into the myth that I was going to be seduced in the back of a pickup truck and become pregnant when I was 16. I had friends when I was in school who were helping to rear nieces and nephews, because their siblings, who were not much older, were having babies. I had friends from all over the class spectrum: I saw the nieces and nephews on the one hand and country-club memberships and station wagons on the other. I felt I was in the middle. I had this fear: What would it take for me to just slip?
Now I'm 34. My boyfriend, Peter, and I have been together three years. I'm old enough to presume that I wasn't going to have an easy time becoming pregnant. I was tired of being on the pill, because it made me moody. Before I went off it, Peter and I talked about what would happen if I became pregnant, and we both agreed that we would have the child.
I found out I was having triplets when I went to my obstetrician. The doctor had just finished telling me I was going to have a low-risk pregnancy. She turned on the sonogram machine. There was a long pause, then she said, ''Are you sure you didn't take fertility drugs?'' I said, ''I'm positive.'' Peter and I were very shocked when she said there were three. ''You know, this changes everything,'' she said. ''You'll have to see a specialist.''
My immediate response was, I cannot have triplets. I was not married; I lived in a five-story walk-up in the East Village; I worked freelance; and I would have to go on bed rest in March. I lecture at colleges, and my biggest months are March and April. I would have to give up my main income for the rest of the year. There was a part of me that was sure I could work around that. But it was a matter of, Do I want to?
I looked at Peter and asked the doctor: ''Is it possible to get rid of one of them? Or two of them?'' The obstetrician wasn't an expert in selective reduction, but she knew that with a shot of potassium chloride you could eliminate one or more.
Having felt physically fine up to this point, I got on the subway afterward, and all of a sudden, I felt ill. I didn't want to eat anything. What I was going through seemed like a very unnatural experience. On the subway, Peter asked, ''Shouldn't we consider having triplets?'' And I had this adverse reaction: ''This is why they say it's the woman's choice, because you think I could just carry triplets. That's easy for you to say, but I'd have to give up my life.'' Not only would I have to be on bed rest at 20 weeks, I wouldn't be able to fly after 15. I was already at eight weeks. When I found out about the triplets, I felt like: It's not the back of a pickup at 16, but now I'm going to have to move to Staten Island. I'll never leave my house because I'll have to care for these children. I'll have to start shopping only at Costco and buying big jars of mayonnaise. Even in my moments of thinking about having three, I don't think that deep down I was ever considering it.
The specialist called me back at 10 p.m. I had just finished watching a Boston Pops concert at Symphony Hall. As everybody burst into applause, I watched my cellphone vibrating, grabbed it and ran into the lobby. He told me that he does a detailed sonogram before doing a selective reduction to see if one fetus appears to be struggling. The procedure involves a shot of potassium chloride to the heart of the fetus. There are a lot more complications when a woman carries multiples. And so, from the doctor's perspective, it's a matter of trying to save the woman this trauma. After I talked to the specialist, I told Peter, ''That's what I'm going to do.'' He replied, ''What we're going to do.'' He respected what I was going through, but at a certain point, he felt that this was a decision we were making. I agreed.
When we saw the specialist, we found out that I was carrying identical twins and a stand alone. My doctors thought the stand alone was three days older. There was something psychologically comforting about that, since I wanted to have just one. Before the procedure, I was focused on relaxing. But Peter was staring at the sonogram screen thinking: Oh, my gosh, there are three heartbeats. I can't believe we're about to make two disappear. The doctor came in, and then Peter was asked to leave. I said, ''Can Peter stay?'' The doctor said no. I know Peter was offended by that.
Two days after the procedure, smells no longer set me off and I no longer wanted to eat nothing but sour-apple gum. I went on to have a pretty seamless pregnancy. But I had a recurring feeling that this was going to come back and haunt me. Was I going to have a stillbirth or miscarry late in my pregnancy?
I had a boy, and everything is fine. But thinking about becoming pregnant again is terrifying. Am I going to have quintuplets? I would do the same thing if I had triplets again, but if I had twins, I would probably have twins. Then again, I don't know.
It sounds like he was on board.
Horrified pro-life ping
Good point! I guess I'll go save a back-up copy of this article.
She didn't know her body couldn't handle it -- a 46 year old woman here gave birth to 3 healthy triplets with no complications to herself. This woman came right out and said she killed two of her babies so she wouldn't have to shop at Costco's. That's how cheap the abortion side's arguments have become.
There is nothing this man could have done to prevent these abortions except exerting moral suasion. On the other hand, I suspect (a) if he's with her he's not capable of it and (b) she's quite immune to moral arguments.
Absolutely a saver to show those who need to be shown how the horrible logic extends itself.
If I even with the lottery, a healthy portion of the winnings will go to fighting this fight.
Very telling that nowhere in that biography is her child even mentioned as an accomplishment or important part of her life or otherwise.
God has a sense of humor by giving a feminazi womyn like this 3 children in her womb--of course, she did not make a choice to glorify Him. After reading her bio, I can't help but agree with other posters that this was a career move, in more ways then she expressed. One can almost see her being giddy at the notion of having more than one baby in her uterus so she can take such a "brave" stand amongst her feminazi colleagues. Vile doesn't begin to touch what this woman is. God have mercy on her son who has to live in such a man-hating home. May he somehow be able to bring glory to God and be a thorn in his mother's side if she continues on her path.
Someone needs to fax this over to Dr. Laura (she doesn't take e-mails, and I'm not in a position to fax).
She'll chew this woman's story up and spit it out in little pieces.
Her FAX: 818-461-5140.
Sounds like agreement to me. He's faced with a tough decision (stay with her or leave her and his remaining kid), but he could've persuaded her to think things through, look at other options, etc.
I found her description of her feelings about her absent father also very chilling. That she would have been better off financially and socially but otherwise no great loss.
There are always consequences in this world.
Before the procedure, I was focused on relaxing. But Peter was staring at the sonogram screen thinking: Oh, my gosh, there are three heartbeats. I can't believe we're about to make two disappear.
I recognize that he was ultimately supportive of her, and I'm not calling him a saint. I'm just saying that at least he wanted them. A lot of guys don't want them, and demand their girlfriends abort.
When a donkey (liberal male) flies, you don't blame him for not staying up that long.
Those are my suspicions as well.
Yes, her depiction of him is somewhat conflicted, but he is ultimately extremely weak. I agree with you there.
Doesn't sound like much of an appeal to me.
Sounds along the lines of, "Oh, my gosh, I can't believe I finished the large General Tso's Chicken and an Egg Roll in one sitting."
Not that I'm a big defender of this monster, but it looks like the bio might have been written before her "trauma" (I mean multiple pregnancy) and simply hasn't been updated.
But I'd bet if she updated she wouldn't mention the one that she deemed worthy of living. After all, it would sound too much like the hated Dr. Laura's "my kid's mom."
And my instinct was the reason the doctor kicked him out was that he sensed his ambivalence. But that's just a hunch.
It sounds to me like he tried (he did suggest they go ahead with having the babies) - but I honestly don't think she could be persuaded. She sounds hard-core and completely unrepentant to me.
I actually think the editors of the New York Times are evil geniuses. By publishing an article that dispassionately lays bare that this aboriton ended two lives, they are desensitizing people to that reality. The Times has given up (mostly) obscuring the fact that a pregnant woman is carrying a life inside her; now the Times is saying, "Abortion ends a human life. So what?"
I made a comment somewhere upthread about the dilemma he faces. I feel sorta bad for him, although he should've stopped her when she suggested taking their chances instead of getting married first.
Well, remember - she's the one telling the story. He might have used different words.
At least he showed some sign of understanding what was about to take place. She just wanted to "get rid" of "the other two".
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