Queen Janeane (Savage Pummelling of Ms. Garofolo)

A vitriolic critic of George Bush, Republicans, and the war in Iraq, Janeane Garofalo has made a more impressive career of being an antiwar protester than she did as a comic. She is a frequent guest of radio talk shows --- and hosts one of her own.

A comic, actress, and author, she is a multifaceted individual. She is even a philosopher.

She once wrote a book in which she said, "Many people feel that mass acceptance and smooth socialization are desirable life paths for a young adult... Many people are often wrong... Don't bother being nice. Being popular and well liked is not in your best interest. Let me be more clear; if you behave in a manner pleasing to most, then you are probably doing something wrong. The masses have never been arbiters of the sublime, and they often fail to recognize the truly great individual. Taking into account the public's regrettable lack of taste, it is incumbent upon you not to fit in." (italics mine)

In other words, she thinks she should be obnoxious because the average person is an idiot, and by being different and abhorrent, she can demonstrate her superiority. The corollary to this is because she is superior the rules for mere mortals do not apply to her.

Garofalo will bristle if someone says she is un-American for protesting the war in Iraq. Yet, she quite easily calls other people traitors, as she did President Bush during an interview with Sean Hannity at the Democratic National Convention.

Garofalo will condemn anyone who would utter a racial slur. However, Garofalo can easily use the word "cracker" when referring to southern whites as she did during this same interview with Hannity. Being the intellectual giant that she is, Garofalo knows full well that the term cracker is, "used as a disparaging term for a poor white person of the rural, especially southeast United States," according to the American Heritage dictionary.

Insulting people gratuitously, calling people traitors, and using ethnic slurs are permissible for the great philosopher, social commentator, and moralist Janeane Garofalo. It is not permissible for the hoi polloi.

She is also a brilliant political theorist. An example of her brilliance is this quote, "The world would be better off with multiple superpowers. When Communist USSR was a superpower, the world was better off."

The world was better off when millions of people were in Gulags and enslaved by Eastern European dictators? So all those people who were shot trying to get to West Berlin just did not know what was good for them?

Of course, Garofalo does not think Communism or Communists were a threat. She believes America is evil. This sage actually thinks that America was responsible for the killing fields of Cambodia - rather than the Maoist Khmer Rouge who planned to make a utopia.

She was supposed to star in a sitcom that was cancelled by ABC about a year ago. Garofalo is certain it is because of her anti-Bush politics. Obviously, she is so important and since there is no such thing as an anti-Bush TV comedy that could be the only reason. After all, it could not be her lack of talent.

Like all geniuses, Garofalo is a bit eccentric. She named her production company, I Hate Myself Productions. Obviously, this is an indication of her self-loathing and preoccupation with herself. This is why she believes in the Michael Moore conspiracy theories. She is so different and so smart that she can determine the truth.

Janeane Garofalo is just another example of the type of person Orwell referred to when he wrote, "One has to belong to the intelligentsia to believe things like that: no ordinary man could be such a fool."

Although, she may not belong to the intelligentsia (albeit she certainly considers herself a unique genius), yet she is quite the fool. She is the latest of a group of people who buy into conspiracy theories. Just like those who think that John Wilkes Booth was not killed by soldiers twelve days after he assassinated Lincoln and those who think Jesse James was not killed by John Ford. Janeane Garofalo knows the truth because she is so much smarter and more moral than the rest of humanity.

Sanctimonious, supercilious, and sciolistic, Garofalo sounds like a typical liberal.

Being popular and well liked is not in your best interest. Let me be more clear; if you behave in a manner pleasing to most, then you are probably doing something wrong. The masses have never been arbiters of the sublime, and they often fail to recognize the truly great individual. Taking into account the public's regrettable lack of taste, it is incumbent upon you not to fit in.

Hmmm... This contains many epistomological problems...

Who, then, *are* the "arbiters of the sublime" whom we are supposed to please? Professorette Godawfulho fails to enlighten us... We are told that it is not "The Masses", but left in ignorance of whom we are supposed to follow?

Consequently, we are left with only guiding our behavior by doing that of which "The Masses" will disapprove. This then requires that we identify of whom "The Masses" consist, so that we can make certain that we do nothing to please them. Using Professorette Godawfulho as an example, presumably she has to assess on an instance-by-instance basis whether her audience (upon whom she depends for the money to afford her cocaine ration), at any given moment, does or does not consist of "The Masses", so that she can tailor her behavior so as to avoid committing any form of philosophical heresy by her own satandards. But she (or, I am impelled to say, "It", in her case) fails to confer upon us mere mortals how WE are supposed to make this determination.

Finally - and most importantly - we are given no guidance as to how to proceed; the advice is entirely of a negative nature: "Don't do anything to please The Masses". While this leaves us considerable leeway in determining a course of action for ourselves, it also confers equal assessment of taste, morality, or other judgmental measures upon *all* possible actions. Without begging additional wisdom of the esteemed Professorette, we can only conclude from this that both serial murder and shoplifting are not only honorable pursuits, but possibly of equal value, since they are not condoned by The Masses.

But perhaps the esteemed Professorette will see fit to enlighten us at a further date. I believe I recall her approving with relish of the spectacle of "a naked gay man burning the American flag". I think, in light of her illumination of her doctrine, we can now undersatand why she would settle on such an image.

There is one further, most important consideration, however: By guiding all its actions with an assessment of that of which "The Masses" would disapprove, and in particular without providing any positive declaration of parameters by which we might guide our actions, is not the revered Professorette allowing "The Masses" as nearly complete control of its behavior as would be the case if it chose to conform absolutely to those behaviors of which "The Masses" do approve? In other words, is not the celebrated Professorette allowing "The Masses" to dictate its behavior, albeit in a negative sense, in equal measure with those whom it so despises??

(yawwwwwnnn.........)

Just insofar as I'm a former history major with a continuing interest in the field - and back issues of American Heritage magazine all the way back to 1951!

It was a great magazine when Bruce Catton was the editor. Just about any topic you can think of (and a bunch you wouldn't) were treated in detail, with copious illustrations in full color. It went downhill in the late 70s/early 80s, around the time it went to paperback it got all politically correct and (worse) started repeating itself.

Periodically they would have a "Wild West" issue - complete with old-fashioned woodcuts.

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