Dems' Duo NOT a Big Hit On the Road ("Flopping Across America" Tour!)

Baltimore Sun ^ | 8/4/04 | Jules Witcover

[KentTrappedInLiberalSeattle]

WHEELING, W.Va. - Like the successful Democratic road show of Bill Clinton and Al Gore rolling out of the party's New York convention in 1992, John Kerry and John Edwards hit the highways together last weekend directly out of Boston, hoping to find the same winning chemistry.

Traveling by bus through the key swing states of Pennsylvania, West Virginia and Ohio before splitting up, the Democratic running mates sought to emulate the camaraderie that marked the Clinton-Gore motorcade a dozen years ago.

Despite much backslapping, hugging and words of mutual admiration among Mr. Kerry, Mr. Edwards and their accompanying families, with actor Ben Affleck thrown in, the rollout did not quite achieve the level of euphoria of the Clinton-Gore political meal on wheels.

[RockinRight]

Hehe...Lurch and Pretty Boy aren't going over too well...justice is sweet...

[Conspiracy Guy]

I wrtote Kerry a tour song.




Blowing in the Wind

How many times must he flip flop and flip,
Before he takes a firm stand?
How many lies must he tell about Nam,
Before we all call his hand?
How many times can he vote pro and con,
Before he is totally canned?
His answer my friend, is changing with the wind.
His answer is changing with the wind.
How many times will he say George Bush lied,
Before he tells us a fact?
How many times must I hear him drone on,
And still my ears stay intact?
How many deaths did he cause there in Nam,
With all his appeasements at home?
The answer and trend, John Kerry's not our friend,
The answer's John Kerry's not our friend.
How many terms could John Kerry serve,
Before America's gone?
How many days before he would cave in,
Afraid to protect our home?
How many weeks till he gave us away,
And let the UN take the throne?
The answer my friend, we'd twist in the wind,
The answer is we'd twist in the wind.

Conspiracy Guy 8/3/2004

[Puddleglum]

Gret song! Very concise summary of the candidate's flaws. Folks should print this out and hand it out at Kerry rallies - the pic on one side and the song on the other.

[BunnySlippers]

You have to register. What did it say?

[avital2]

fabulous job! this could catch on!

[Conspiracy Guy]

Good Idea. Feel free to use as you see fit. Here is poem to go with it.

Kerry 2004



I want to be the President,
Though all know I can’t lead.
I really want the power though,
It’s really what I need.



I’ll lie and cheat and fabricate,
I’ll flip and flop for sure.
The left’s so dumb they’ll vote for me,
For stupid, there’s no cure.



George Bush lied, I’ll chant and sing,
Though I know it’s not true.
I love America I’ll say,
Another lie for you.



I’ll back the UN’s global push,
No sovereignty for us.
The world rides free at our expense,
We’ll even buy the bus.



Let terror rain down on this land,
We really are to blame.
Oh yes, I fought in Viet Nam,
Four months, then home I came.



Three Purple Hearts for paper cuts,
Like some rite of passage.
You bet my name’s John Kerry,
And I approve this message.



Conspiracy Guy aka DIF 7/30/2004

[Conspiracy Guy]

Thanks. That would be a hoot.

[KentTrappedInLiberalSeattle]

"Having to register" is no longer a drawback. Go here: http://www.bugmenot.com/ ; get a handy pre-registered "identity"; and go and read to your heart's content. :)

[NautiNurse]

Excellent lyrics! Great job!

[Semper Vigilantis]

Nice job, CG!

I heard that the Johns are busing supporters in for their rallies because turn out is so low.

[Stallone]

The Kerry Magical Mystery Tour
Joined by the Al-Aqsa Boys Band

Featuring such popular hits as:

Fool on the Hill
I am the Waffle
Hello Goodbye, Flip Flop
Peggy Lame
Baby You're A Rich Man
Mama T Should Know
All You Need Is Love

[GottaLuvAkitas1]

The bad thing is...
In Beckley WV they love Kerry and M. Moore.

The good thing is...
The only good thing out of Beckley WV is the WhiteWater Rafting.

[Taxman]

Obligatory "Flush the Johns in '04!" bump. Just wait 'til the voting begins -- the Two Johns will really find out what the word "flush" means!

[InvisibleChurch]

is that the same wendy's meal they dumped in the trash for a catered 5star meal later on?

[sd-joe]

Try BugMeNot.com

[Melpomene]

They need to dump Ben. I guess they think he'll attract younger voters, but he just adds to their girly-man image.

[Maria S]

MOST EXCELLENT SONG!!!

One question: I have friends and relatives all over the place. May I send them a copy of this (with "Conspiracy Guy 8/3/2004" following it)? Is it a copyright or... ? I just don't want to send something (that I think is REALLY clever, BTW!) without permission.

Thanks,MS

[Conspiracy Guy]

I'm glad you like it. Dylan was protesting when he wrote the tune. I was protesting when I rewrote it.

[Lacey]

...the rollout did not quite achieve the level of euphoria of the Clinton-Gore political meal on wheels

Perhaps it's a case of "fool me once, shame on me; fool me twice, shame on you."