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Desperately seeking Mr. Right. Or Left.
Christian Science Monitor ^ | August 06, 2004 edition | Elizabeth Lund

Posted on 08/05/2004 3:33:03 PM PDT by Vision Thing

As if the dating game weren't hard enough already, now there's a new twist to the age-old practice of pitching woo: More singles want Mr. or Ms. Right to belong to the "right" political party as well. And a slew of new political dating websites have popped up to help people find a pool of like-minded candidates.

If that sounds like preelection hoopla, consider the fact that politics has invaded every other facet of American life in the past three years. It's on TV, in movies, and in mainstream publications. "Who are you voting for?" is becoming an icebreaker for many who feel that the November election is this century's D-Day.

These self-described activists are avoiding mainstream dating services, which don't identify people by political persuasion, in favor of sites such as www.conservativematch.com or www.democraticsingles.net.

While some wonder if these sites - most of which are less than six months old - are just an election-year marketing ploy, the link between politics and dating is real, and experts say it's here to stay.

"We are living in a moment when there are a lot of really controversial and highly political issues," says Steffen Schmidt, a political science professor at Iowa State University. "The country is horribly polarized."

Many people worry about terrorism, casualties in Iraq, and losing civil liberties, he notes, and it's natural to discuss such fears with those we may become emotionally involved with.

This was certainly the case for Leigh Stringer, an architect. In October 2002, she was living in London and became very concerned about recent events back home in the US.She began sharing her thoughts with John Hlinko, a liberal activist she met through Match.com.

Within weeks she knew he was the one. Shared political beliefs "are one more set of criteria that lets you know you're soul mates," she says.

Today, the two, who live in Washington, D.C., are planning their wedding for one week before the presidential election.

They also work together on political campaigns and on ActForLove, a politically oriented dating site Mr. Hlinko started in April. They will spend the first part of their honeymoon "hanging out at polling sites," she says.

That may sound a bit extreme to people who live outside the capital. But many Washington residents say that their dating agenda - stick with people who share your ideology - is slowly sweeping the country, just as an interest in politics has.

Politics has gone mainstream, says Matthew Felling, media director of the Center for Media and Public Affairs in Washington, because after 9/11, people "realized that decisions they made or didn't make have repercussions politically and globally."

As evidence of this new trend, Mr. Felling points to the number of political books that have landed on the bestseller lists in recent months.

"Politics is the new table topic," he says, one that is likely to outlast the current electoral cycle because it represents "an increased consciousness, and that doesn't fade."

But don't let all this talk about values and idealism fool you. Politics may appeal to people's intellect, say experts, but it also has a certain sex appeal.

Politics sexy? Some observers certainly think so.

"When people list what they want in a partner, they often say somebody who has goals and knows what they want out of life, people with strong views who are taking steps toward that," says Tony Sandoval of Terra9 Singles, which operates www.republicansingles.com and www.democraticsingles.com. Members range in age from 20 to 75.

"When you believe strongly in something, that can be a turn-on to some people," he says.

Yet as politics becomes more of an issue in the dating world, that doesn't always translate into same-party dating.

In fact, according to a recent study conducted by iMatchup.com, more than 80 percent of Americans would be willing to date someone with a different political outlook.

A Gallup poll conducted for Match.com also found that 57 percent of singles would consider marrying someone with significantly different political beliefs from their own.

These findings don't necessarily contradict what the niche dating sites have found, says Trish McDermott, a vice president of Match.com. "Our research is telling us that if you're passionate about politics, you need a partner who understands that passion."

Understanding the passion, however, doesn't necessarily mean sharing the same opinions. Ms. McDermott points to Mary Matalin and James Carville as an example of political partisans who are confident enough of their views that they "don't need to have them affirmed in the relationship."

The important trend, according to McDermott, is "the fact that people are talking about politics on dates today," which they didn't do as much in the past.

Jessica Barba and Justin Ziegler of New York find that's true in their relationship. She's a Democrat who works for a nonprofit, and he's a Republican who is a corporate bond researcher.

Occasionally their political discussions will end with, "Well, your sources are wrong."

Still, Ms. Barba says the talks are worthwhile because they have made her more informed about the issues and they "keep you on your toes."

But in the end, partisan politics has little impact on their relationship. "Politics does not define my goals," says Barba, who, like her boyfriend, is a committed Roman Catholic. "Religion is what defines my day-to-day existence and where I am going in life."


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Extended News; Politics/Elections
KEYWORDS: culturewar; dating; familyvalues; genreagan; love; loveandmarriage; marriage; singles

1 posted on 08/05/2004 3:33:03 PM PDT by Vision Thing
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To: Vision Thing
Considering that a large proportion of lefty male DemocRATS are gay, I bet lefty heterosexual women will have a harder time finding compatible males.
2 posted on 08/05/2004 3:47:48 PM PDT by Paleo Conservative (Do not remove this tag under penalty of law.)
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To: Vision Thing
They will spend the first part of their honeymoon "hanging out at polling sites," she says.

Who says romance is dead?

3 posted on 08/05/2004 3:49:28 PM PDT by Argus
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To: Paleo Conservative

Worse yet for the lefty hetero females, when they find a non-gay lefty, more than likely, the guy is a metrosexual.


4 posted on 08/05/2004 3:50:56 PM PDT by Vision Thing (My name is Vision Thing. I am a Free Republic addict.)
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To: Vision Thing

"Worse yet for the lefty hetero females, when they find a non-gay lefty, more than likely, the guy is a metrosexual."

and a WIMP.


5 posted on 08/05/2004 4:09:02 PM PDT by adam_az (Call your State Republican Party office and VOLUNTEER!!!!)
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To: qam1; ItsOurTimeNow; PresbyRev; tortoise; Fraulein; StoneColdGOP; Clemenza; malakhi; m18436572; ...
Xer Ping

Ping list for the discussion of the politics and social aspects that directly effects Generation Reagan / Generation-X (Those born from 1965-1981) including all the spending previous generations (i.e. The Baby Boomers) are doing that Gen-X and Y will end up paying for.

Freep mail me to be added or dropped. See my home page for details and previous articles.  

6 posted on 08/05/2004 4:14:37 PM PDT by qam1 (Tommy Thompson is a Fat-tubby, Fascist)
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To: Vision Thing
While it is possible to love someone who will cancel out your vote on election day, can you raise kids with someone who believes that parents should be denied information when your minor daughter gets an abortion? Can you raise kids with someone who believes that all conservatives are racist fascists? Can you raise kids with someone who believes that perjury is okay if the economy is going well?

Many Rats have shown themselves to be an immoral lot and who will not leave the nation a better place for their kids.

Too much is at stake in the culture war. If you don't agree on values and don't plan to raise kids this may be alright (so long as you never actually discuss any issues).

7 posted on 08/05/2004 4:35:25 PM PDT by weegee (YOU could have been aborted, and you wouldn't have had a CHOICE about it.)
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To: Vision Thing
Understanding the passion, however, doesn't necessarily mean sharing the same opinions. Ms. McDermott points to Mary Matalin and James Carville as an example of political partisans who are confident enough of their views that they "don't need to have them affirmed in the relationship."

They are both public figures. They don't need to have their views validated by each other, they have plenty of admirers in the tv audience.

8 posted on 08/05/2004 4:37:55 PM PDT by weegee (YOU could have been aborted, and you wouldn't have had a CHOICE about it.)
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To: weegee

Exactly! Although to me, it's not so much about raising kids, but how I could share my life and my heart with someone who thinks that Clinton was great and voting for Hildebeast was a good thing.

Also, conservative men tend to be more handsome and masculine. :)


9 posted on 08/05/2004 4:39:10 PM PDT by NYC GOP Chick (Which FReeper likes to threaten to beat up women?)
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To: Vision Thing
www.conservativematch.com

Hummm, should I or should I not. Ok I'll peek.

10 posted on 08/05/2004 4:54:05 PM PDT by usurper
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To: Paleo Conservative

So basically it will break into a two dating system. One party for mere sex, the other for relationship.

Reminds me of a group of party girls who though they could party outside the Greek church community and then become born again virgins inside the church community when they wanted to marry.


11 posted on 08/05/2004 4:59:03 PM PDT by longtermmemmory (VOTE!)
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To: Vision Thing

jeez, I couldn't imagine living with a liberal that is as passionate about America as I am. ( oh, wait...liberals aren't passionate about America, they're passionate about Socialism ). I wonder how much politics really influences people though. I'm the only one in my office that votes. I try and encourage them, but they just don't care. I'm of the opinion that not many people care about what's going on...as long as they are getting theirs.

I only have to deal with the secretary and my limp-wristed co-workers for 8 hours a day....and I'm ready to rip their illegal alien hiring heads off.

But then again, with another right wing in the house...lol


12 posted on 08/05/2004 6:34:31 PM PDT by 1_Inch_Group (The National Council of La Raza should be labeled a Terrorist Organization and treated accordingly)
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To: weegee
While it is possible to love someone who will cancel out your vote on election day, can you raise kids with someone who believes that parents should be denied information when your minor daughter gets an abortion? Can you raise kids with someone who believes that all conservatives are racist fascists? Can you raise kids with someone who believes that perjury is okay if the economy is going well?

Many Rats have shown themselves to be an immoral lot and who will not leave the nation a better place for their kids.

Too much is at stake in the culture war. If you don't agree on values and don't plan to raise kids this may be alright (so long as you never actually discuss any issues).

Absolutely. In the past, conservatives and liberals alike still agreed on matters regarding personal integrity and common decency. That's no longer true: there are definite differences in attitudes towards such issues as abortion, infidelity, even the importance of honesty. There are just two radically-different world views that are incompatible.

13 posted on 08/05/2004 6:58:03 PM PDT by Siamese Princess
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To: Vision Thing; qam1; MadIvan

I know this isn't the point of this website, but IIRC, more than one marriage has originated from the odd FReepmail...

I know I'm glad to have found somebody I want to share my life with, who shares my political leanings, amongst a plethora of other things we have in common, on FreeRepublic.

Now... if only we lived in the same country! Still, he and I will be together some day soon... *smiles*


14 posted on 08/05/2004 7:02:15 PM PDT by KangarooJacqui (http://www.RightGoths.com/ - Gothic. Freaky. Conservative. Wear black and be proud!)
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To: NYC GOP Chick
Conservative man spotlight on:

Bill Whalen...

...can be found at the Hoover Institution at Stanford University, and he is a definite eligible.

I hear him on the John Batchelor radio show, usually on Friday nights, during the political roundtable segment. Catch him on WABC, the next time you have your own Spa Night. (Talk radio, while soaking in the tub...Ahhhhhhhh!)

He's very smart, has true conservative values, and has a darling personality. He's confident, has a good sense of humor, and is an upbeat kind of guy. In short, he'd make a terrific conservative catch. Yummy!

15 posted on 08/05/2004 7:04:27 PM PDT by Lauren BaRecall (9/11 was based on "old data.")
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To: Lauren BaRecall

Thanks! He looks like a good one, but he's on the other side of the country, and I'm not looking right now. ;) But thank you anyway!


16 posted on 08/05/2004 7:05:36 PM PDT by NYC GOP Chick (Which FReeper likes to threaten to beat up women?)
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To: Siamese Princess

Ditto!

And if the topic isn't one of the serious ones you listed, who would want to sentence herself to a lifetime of "blah blah blah."

At least I can turn off the radio (don't watch TV).


17 posted on 08/05/2004 7:10:40 PM PDT by Lauren BaRecall (9/11 was based on "old data.")
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To: NYC GOP Chick

You're welcome. I'm also in New York, so he's safe from me! :oD

But still, the stuff that dreams are made of. They're out there!


18 posted on 08/05/2004 7:14:44 PM PDT by Lauren BaRecall (9/11 was based on "old data.")
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To: Lauren BaRecall
But still, the stuff that dreams are made of. They're out there!

I do know that for a fact! ;)

19 posted on 08/05/2004 7:19:39 PM PDT by NYC GOP Chick (Which FReeper likes to threaten to beat up women?)
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To: Siamese Princess

"There are just two radically different world views that are incompatible."
You are right. And what would happen to this country after couple generations of such assortative mating? They are talking polarization? They ain't seen anything yet.


20 posted on 08/05/2004 7:58:57 PM PDT by GSlob
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To: NYC GOP Chick

;o)


21 posted on 08/05/2004 8:55:09 PM PDT by Lauren BaRecall (As F'n Kerry says, "Pardon, ma francaise!")
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To: NYC GOP Chick
Exactly! Although to me, it's not so much about raising kids, but how I could share my life and my heart with someone who thinks that Clinton was great and voting for Hildebeast was a good thing.

Also, conservative men tend to be more handsome and masculine. :)

First of all, thanks for the compliment. *grin*

Second, on a serious note, think of the conversion possibilities. My father always voted Repub, but my mom voted for Carter (!) for his first term. By 1980, she was voting for Reagan, and now she is a fire-breathing conservative. Look at it as potential votes to be switched...

22 posted on 08/05/2004 9:05:59 PM PDT by Charles H. (The_r0nin) ("We're more of the love, blood, and rhetoric school..." -- Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead.)
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To: Paleo Conservative; Vision Thing; adam_az

Funny this should come up: a friend of mine is the recent beneficiary of the fact that all the males in his fiancees group of friends belong to various theater groups and, by her admission, are "all gay."


23 posted on 08/05/2004 9:12:33 PM PDT by ECM
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To: Vision Thing

I joined conservativematch.com. So far, my only e-mail is from a San Diego Union Tribune reporter researching a story on politically-oriented dating sites, lol. She wanted to interview me - I declined. Why help out a leftist rag that never saw a tax increase or gun control law it didn't like?


24 posted on 08/05/2004 9:48:30 PM PDT by jrp
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To: weegee

So right you are. Those who would excuse Bill Clinton's sleazy behavior are not the types I'd want to share my life with. No Carville - Matalin relationship for me!


25 posted on 08/06/2004 12:38:02 AM PDT by Tabi Katz
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To: Lauren BaRecall

California is looking more attractive by the minute!


26 posted on 08/06/2004 12:43:05 AM PDT by Tabi Katz
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To: GSlob
You are right. And what would happen to this country after couple generations of such assortative mating? They are talking polarization? They ain't seen anything yet.

Ideally, husbands and wives agree on basic principles to live by and try their best to follow them. Otherwise, there will be problems which frequently lead to divorce.

27 posted on 08/06/2004 3:34:02 AM PDT by Siamese Princess
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To: NYC GOP Chick; Lil'freeper; sauropod

Metrosexual ping!


28 posted on 08/06/2004 3:36:45 AM PDT by hellinahandcart
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To: jbeachgrl5

Ping for your enjoyment!


29 posted on 08/06/2004 5:00:30 AM PDT by CSM ("The Democrat Cocktail: Ketchup with a Chaser." by JennysCool (7/7/04))
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To: Vision Thing; jbeachgrl5

"Worse yet for the lefty hetero females, when they find a non-gay lefty, more than likely, the guy is a metrosexual."

That fact alone is enough for me to remain on the Right!


30 posted on 08/06/2004 5:04:58 AM PDT by CSM ("The Democrat Cocktail: Ketchup with a Chaser." by JennysCool (7/7/04))
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To: weegee

I agree with your post 100%. If you can't expect some modicum of morality from your partner regarding politics, why would you expect morality in the committment? What would stop them from carrying on extra-marital affairs?


31 posted on 08/06/2004 5:06:28 AM PDT by CSM ("The Democrat Cocktail: Ketchup with a Chaser." by JennysCool (7/7/04))
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To: stuartcr

Ping for related discussion to yesterday's article. Enjoy.


32 posted on 08/06/2004 5:28:07 AM PDT by CSM ("The Democrat Cocktail: Ketchup with a Chaser." by JennysCool (7/7/04))
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To: weegee
Within weeks she knew he was the one. Shared political beliefs "are one more set of criteria that lets you know you're soul mates," she says.

I read another thread like this. Basically leftists want to enforce leftist ideologies on others and demand that leftist othodoxy be enforced in a relationship. Its selfish to demand ideological purity in a relationship, but is'nt this typical of liberals? You see the same thing in colleges where professors demand their students parrot their liberal ideas back to them for good grades and failure to do so results in punishment.

33 posted on 08/06/2004 6:03:09 AM PDT by KC_Conspirator (This space outsourced to India)
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To: Vision Thing

I just want to let all the Republican babes out there know that old Exile is happily married. I know it's a crime to have such a handsome and dashing dude as myself tied to one woman, but what can I say. Also Mrs. Exile is mean and scary when crossed. I can't betray a woman who has a black belt in Hurt-fu. So ladies, if you want to undress me with your eyes, there is nothing I can do to stop it, but Mrs. Exile will try.


34 posted on 08/06/2004 6:07:20 AM PDT by exile (Exile - Helen Thomas tried to lure me into her Gingerbread House.)
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To: CSM

Personally, I feel sorry for those that would have something like politics as a requisite for marriage or dating. I fear this trend, and things like internet forums for example, are going to do nothing more than divide people. There is less and less 'fair and balanced', and more 'our side vs your side'. It's un-American, and I think, dangerous.


35 posted on 08/06/2004 6:37:20 AM PDT by stuartcr
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Comment #36 Removed by Moderator

To: All
Go read some of the online profiles at some of these services. The ones who classify themselves as liberal often are hateful in their descriptions when they say that they don't want a conservative, "fundamentalist Christian", or the ever popular "W. lover" to respond to their profile. They also tend to be the more unattractive ones as well. A coincidence????? ;)

The ones who put conservative rarely state that they limit themselves to conservative thinkers only, and if they do it is never in vile terms.

37 posted on 08/06/2004 7:19:16 AM PDT by Corporate Law (<>< -- Xavier Basketball - Perennial Slayer of #1 Ranked Teams)
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To: jbeachgrl5

Great tagline ;)


38 posted on 08/06/2004 7:36:43 AM PDT by Corporate Law (<>< -- Xavier Basketball - Perennial Slayer of #1 Ranked Teams)
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Comment #39 Removed by Moderator

To: jbeachgrl5
"What a fag."

I would agree with you on that one, especially after seeing the incredible profile you put up. On another site, I had someone contact me and start a correspondence, despite that she had "liberal" down and I, of course, have "conservative". I made wisecrack, with regard to a trip to Barnes & Noble, about Clinton's book and the fact I did not need any more toilet paper. She responded that she hated Reagan and loved Clinton, and this might be a "dealbreaker" (well, duh). I am still shaking my head over that one.

40 posted on 08/06/2004 8:19:34 AM PDT by Corporate Law (<>< -- Xavier Basketball - Perennial Slayer of #1 Ranked Teams)
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Comment #41 Removed by Moderator

To: jbeachgrl5
"Yeah, the same way I can get over breathing!"

Now that is a great comeback!

I was bewildered when this woman in question continued(s) to write back when I responded that I absolutely despised Clinton and considered Ronald Reagan to be my personal hero. What was also funny is that I never had anything in my response or profile mentioning Reagan so she threw that slam out on her own.

42 posted on 08/06/2004 8:42:05 AM PDT by Corporate Law (<>< -- Xavier Basketball - Perennial Slayer of #1 Ranked Teams)
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To: stuartcr

What is truly un-American is the philosophy of "Taking from some for the greater good." That is pure evil and the center plank for every Liberal. As you know, I can't stand to be in the same room as evil people, let alone date or marry them. For all I care, they can turn to the mommy and daddy government to pay for their dinner!


43 posted on 08/06/2004 9:06:24 AM PDT by CSM ("The Democrat Cocktail: Ketchup with a Chaser." by JennysCool (7/7/04))
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To: Corporate Law

They must not be freepers. I say that judging by many liberal descriptions here on FR.


44 posted on 08/06/2004 9:07:53 AM PDT by stuartcr
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To: CSM

OK.


45 posted on 08/06/2004 9:24:50 AM PDT by stuartcr
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To: stuartcr

conservative girls are BABES.....Im an old guy so I can say girls...and no apologies!


46 posted on 08/06/2004 9:32:51 AM PDT by rrrod
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To: KC_Conspirator
Well among the politically correct, if you believe in conservation of forests, you must also stand against SUVs and for animal rights (and don't look down on those who spike trees). If you are "for" animal rights, you really should be a vegan "and besides, it's healthier". And when you go to the rally to protest Starbucks not using the "right" organic coffee (possibly one that exploits the harvesters, not with deadly toxins but really lousy benefits packages) you'd better not make moral statements about the nice homosexual couple raising their adopted children, if you do you are a racist/sexist/homophobe.

It is a unifying ideology and you'd better get in lock step with political correctness if you are going to try to land one of the advocates.

47 posted on 08/06/2004 10:30:16 AM PDT by weegee (YOU could have been aborted, and you wouldn't have had a CHOICE about it.)
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