Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

I'm Soo Screwed
MY WAR: - Fear and Loathing In Iraq ^ | August 10, 2004 | CBFTW

Posted on 08/10/2004 1:27:53 PM PDT by Cannoneer No. 4

I never even knew what a Blog was until I read about them in an article in Time Magazine, about two months ago. I read the article and it mentioned how a lot of the soldiers down in Baghdad were writing about their experiences here in Iraq. After reading the article, I went down to the Internet caf‚, and checked them out, and a majority of them were just pure garbage. In fact nauseating. Its like they were written by armed forces recruiters, "Oh I love the Army, I'm soo glad to be here, oh, the Iraqi's love us, I feel like were doing the right thing" That kinda crap. Nobody was telling it like it is. So I said f**k it, I'm going to do one.

I was at the point in my deployment where the letters from friends and family were getting fewer and far between, and I needed something to combat the extra time and loneliness that being on deployment hits you with when you've been here for awhile. So I though doing a blog might be a fun thing to do, help kill some time.

And it worked, time started flying by once I stated this thing. I had no idea how to write or form a sentence (I still don't) but I figured what the hell, just do it. Like I said before, the Clash didn't know how to play their instruments when they started jamming, they just played, and that was the mindset I had when I started this.

At first I was getting about, 50 hits a day, then 100 hits a day, then a thousand hits a day, then three thousand hits a day, then 5 thousand hits a day. That was like a month ago when I had a counter. (Some reason it disappeared one day) Its scary to think how many hits a day I get now.

Since then, I've received e-mails from people in the Pentagon (saying: Everybody here reads it and loves it here!) a White House aide, a Wall Street Journal Journalist, several well known and lesser known journalists, a lady in Chicago asked if it was OK to do a play based on this blog, College Professors, One Professor who wants to bring up my blog in his class curriculum, Vietnam Vets, Gulf War Vets, WWII Vets, Police Officers, Authors, Literary agents, musicians, A girl in LA that wants to write a screenplay about this blog, a lawyer in DC who thinks my writing is a diamond in the ruff and offered for him and several other lawyers to help me pay for some of my College tuition when I get out, relatives from soldiers, soldiers in all the branches, soldiers in Iraq, lonely women, truck drivers, soccer moms, the list goes on and on.

It was insane the e-mails and responses I got over time. I was also amazed by how many good people were out there. Totally heart warming. And every e-mail I received was telling me how they loved my sh*t and how what I was saying was soo much better then the sh*t the media showing. I was making the war much more real to people by sharing my experiences with them. And they were telling everybody they knew about it. One guy even told me he heard some people discuss about this blog in some pub in Europe.

I had no idea it would get as big as it did, and as fast. I also knew that time was probably ticking on how long I could keep this thing up. What would Hunter S. Thomspson do in a situation like this? He'd probably "Buy the ticket, and take the ride." So I did.

I continued blogging and writing. So today I'm walking back from chow, and my Plt Sgt is outside my door waiting for me and he said, The Col. wants to see you, hurry up and go shave, I'll be back in 15 to take you down there.

My heart sank. Sh*t. I know exactly what this one is about. Its like that feeling you get in high school when you'd f**k up, and they'd call your name over the loud speaker and tell you your presence was needed in the principles office, and you know the police are there in the principle's office waiting for you. Not good.

I stepped inside my room, and my roommate was inside and he said, "Sh*t man! The B.C. was just here looking for you!!" F**k. I'm dead. I felt more scared now then I did on the 5th of Nov. The Battalion Commander AND the Col wants to see me?! All of this reminds me of the classic 80's movie, Pump Up The Volume, where the main character is in high school, and who is kind of a loner, listens to punk and skates, and does that underground radio station, which nobody at his school knows about, and it gets bigger and bigger until finally he gets caught and busted.

Nobody here in my Plt knew of my site till about a week ago. I told a couple close friends. Just last week I had a soldier tell me, yea, I just talked to my aunt, she knows nothing about the internet and she asked me about a "blog" thing that she reads done by a soldier in the Stryker Brigade. A couple days ago at the Internet caf‚, I looked over at the person next to me and he was reading my Blog, totally unaware he was sitting next to the author. So I saw this one coming.

The Full Bird Col. wasn't around so my Plt Sgt walked me down to the BC's office, and all I could think about was latrine duty, being a Pvt again, loss of pay, or worse. When I got to his office I was sweating a lot. I don't think I was sweating from the heat, I was probably sweating more from being freaked the f**k out. My heart was beating at an accelerated rate as well now.

The BC is a pretty intimidating guy, he's like Patton meets Vince Lombardi with a little bit of Knute Rockne. Total hard charger kinda guy. The kinda guy infantrymen love. As I stepped in his office (I scanned the room with my eyes for MP's), he told me to take a seat and I did, nervous as all hell. My Plt Sgt sitting right next to me. He looked at me, offered me a cup of coffee, I declined and then as he walked to his desk he said, "You're pretty well read. I can tell right away that you're a reader."

Now I'm really sh*tting in pants. First off, he knows about my writting, second, I know from numerous experiences and bump ins with Judges, Probation Officers, principles, and police officers how something like this works, they always first start off with a nice compliment, and then they fry your ass.

He said "Youre a big Hunter S Thompson Fan, arnt you?" (pause) I said, "Uhhh, yes Sir." He said, "Me too, but I thought the movie was just pure garbage. Didn't do the book justice."

As I'm sitting there waiting for the guilty death penalty sentence to come out of his mouth, he asked me if I ever read "such and such by such and such." I was soo nervous and had soo many thoughts flying in my head I wasn't even registering what he was saying, I just said, "No sir, heard of him, but never read him." And then he said, "I'll let you borrow a copy of his book sometime, you'll really like him"

Then he sat down behind his desk and on his desk he had a huge file that looked to me to be about as thick as The Rise And Fall Of The Third Reich. With his right arm that had his Ranger Bat. Combat Patch sewn on it, he started turning the pages, I could see the painting of Guernica on the first page as he flipped through it, and every single page had something I wrote highlighted in bright florescent yellow ink and a bunch of weird forms attatched to it and a bunch of papers. I could feel the sweat dripping down my face.

He calmly looked up and told me that my sh*t was really good, and he liked reading my stuff, and that I was a good writer. He even mentioned something about including it in the units history and archives.

That didn't relieve me one bit, like I said, it made me more freaked out. I'm waiting for him to say the word: "BUT" followed by my punishment. Then we discussed things, and he pointed things out, and told me things. I agreed with 100% of everything he was saying, and the final conclusion from what he told me was that I could continue writing, but maybe have my Plt Sgt read my stuff before I post. He stressed that he didn't want to censor me and that I still had the freedom of speech thing, as long as I wasn't doing anything that would endanger the mission.

I totally 110% agree with him on that one. I thanked him and I told him that I of course would not want to do anything that would endanger anybody here or back home, which is of course true. He suggested that I should look into getting this stuff published and made into a book someday.

Finally I walked out of his office, with a feeling that I had just dodged a full mag of AK47 bullets. I went back to my room, and my roommate was waiting for me all wide eyed and said "Well, what did he want?!?!?! What Happened?!?! You busted?!" I told him all about what happened. And then I said, "Well, the positive thing is that, at least he knows who I am now." And he looked at me and said, "That could be a good thing, or a bad thing."

This might be my last entry, I haven't decided yet to end this, or continue this. I don't know what to make of all this yet.

"These words I write to keep me from total madness."

-Charles Bukowski


TOPICS: Extended News; Foreign Affairs; US: California; US: Washington; War on Terror
KEYWORDS: 3rdbde2id; arrowheadbde; cbftw; mosul; sbct; stryker; strykerbde; wheeledarmor
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-2021-4041-6061-8081-99 next last
Thanks for cutting the kid some slack, sir.
1 posted on 08/10/2004 1:27:58 PM PDT by Cannoneer No. 4
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | View Replies]

To: Cannoneer No. 4

ANYBODY who quotes Bukowski is A-OK in my book.


2 posted on 08/10/2004 1:29:21 PM PDT by ImProudToBeAnAmerican (Bill raped, Monica swallowed, Hillary totally sucks.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Cannoneer No. 4

Poor kid thought he was a goner.


3 posted on 08/10/2004 1:32:54 PM PDT by boxerblues
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

Stryker Brigade Combat Team Tactical Studies Group (Chairborne)


4 posted on 08/10/2004 1:33:38 PM PDT by Cannoneer No. 4 (I've lost turret power; I have my nods and my .50. Hooah. I will stay until relieved. White 2 out.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Cannoneer No. 4

Rounds Complete!

5 posted on 08/10/2004 1:35:44 PM PDT by big'ol_freeper ("Freedom consists not in doing what we like, but in having the right to do what we ought."-Pope JPII)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: af_vet_rr; ALOHA RONNIE; American in Israel; American Soldier; archy; armymarinemom; BCR #226; ...

ping


6 posted on 08/10/2004 1:36:55 PM PDT by Cannoneer No. 4 (I've lost turret power; I have my nods and my .50. Hooah. I will stay until relieved. White 2 out.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 4 | View Replies]

To: Cannoneer No. 4

Can't tell from this whether he's pro or anti war.


7 posted on 08/10/2004 1:37:22 PM PDT by ez (TERRORISTS FOR KERRY!!!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: boxerblues

i am sorry but this seems a bit contrived to me, i hope it isnt but....


8 posted on 08/10/2004 1:37:56 PM PDT by Docbarleypop (Navy Doc)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 3 | View Replies]

To: Cannoneer No. 4

Guess if the military liked him though, and people here like him, there's my answer.


9 posted on 08/10/2004 1:38:19 PM PDT by ez (TERRORISTS FOR KERRY!!!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Cannoneer No. 4

I was sweating reading this, and I was never in the Military!


10 posted on 08/10/2004 1:39:16 PM PDT by netmilsmom ("I don't have time in my life to read potato chips" - Netmilsdad)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: ez

I read a few of his posts....he said many soldiers support the war, but as far as I remember he didn't take a clear stand. He is not for Bush or Kerry & plans to vote for Nader.


11 posted on 08/10/2004 1:39:51 PM PDT by BushCheney4America
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 7 | View Replies]

To: Cannoneer No. 4

It is almost funny. The poor kid would probably rather go out on a dozen missions like the one the other day than have to be chewed out by his BC.


12 posted on 08/10/2004 1:40:33 PM PDT by Blood of Tyrants (Even if the government took all your earnings, you wouldn't be, in its eyes, a slave.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Cannoneer No. 4

BTTT


13 posted on 08/10/2004 1:40:57 PM PDT by Fiddlstix (This Tagline for sale. (Presented by TagLines R US))
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Cannoneer No. 4

Bumping for reading later tonite. 5pm and I'm outta here!


14 posted on 08/10/2004 1:41:12 PM PDT by 7.62 x 51mm (• Veni • Vidi • Vino • Visa • "I came, I saw, I drank wine, I shopped")
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: netmilsmom
You'll need a shower after reading Men In Black
15 posted on 08/10/2004 1:41:54 PM PDT by Cannoneer No. 4 (I've lost turret power; I have my nods and my .50. Hooah. I will stay until relieved. White 2 out.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 10 | View Replies]

To: Docbarleypop

The kid writes very well, if you take a peek at the rest of his writings I dont think you will feel that way.


16 posted on 08/10/2004 1:41:58 PM PDT by boxerblues
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 8 | View Replies]

To: Cannoneer No. 4

bump for later read


17 posted on 08/10/2004 1:43:23 PM PDT by VRW Conspirator (It's my turn to decide what the "common good" should be. My turn. My turn. My turn.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Blood of Tyrants

Tomahawk Six handled him well.


18 posted on 08/10/2004 1:44:08 PM PDT by Cannoneer No. 4 (I've lost turret power; I have my nods and my .50. Hooah. I will stay until relieved. White 2 out.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 12 | View Replies]

To: ImProudToBeAnAmerican
I prefer Vladimir Bukovskiy
19 posted on 08/10/2004 1:45:10 PM PDT by struwwelpeter
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: RhoTheta

Reserved judgement ping.


20 posted on 08/10/2004 1:49:35 PM PDT by Egon (A students end up teaching. B students end up working for C students.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-2021-4041-6061-8081-99 next last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson