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Kerry's Mystic Tan for the Magical Mystical Tour. "They're coming to take me away, take me away."

Posted on 09/28/2004 7:11:48 PM PDT by Cats Pajamas

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To: Cats Pajamas
Dear John; How are things going on the campaign trail?, I hope your well. I thought I would drop you this note to let you know of a great new tanning cream I just found. This stuff works great, and I know you will love it, I've enclosed a large tube for you to try out, apply it "liberally" ha ha.
sincerely; Hillary Clinton
41 posted on 09/28/2004 7:33:07 PM PDT by BOOTSTICK (meet me in Kansas city)
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To: JusPasenThru

I haven't doofed boofens in ages. How did you know? Who told you, that Free Republic, awwww mannnn.


42 posted on 09/28/2004 7:33:20 PM PDT by Cats Pajamas
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To: JusPasenThru

I haven't doofed boofens in ages. How did you know? Who told you, that Free Republic, awwww mannnn.


43 posted on 09/28/2004 7:33:21 PM PDT by Cats Pajamas
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To: Cats Pajamas
Maybe some make-up gal will apply 100% acetone anhydride that can turn him white? It turns my fingers white. I am in the aerospace industry.

Then she can pour liquid nitrogen on him.

I put some LNO in a coffee cup when I was bored once. Put in a couple of grapes (which I love) into the liquid. You can pick them out with your fingers because your fingers are warm and develop vapor pressure around them that insulates them, momentarily. When you drop those frozen grapes on the floor, they shatter like glass marbles:) They are still at -270C when you pluck them out:) Be very fast:)

Beware of bored guys:)

44 posted on 09/28/2004 7:34:07 PM PDT by BobS
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To: Cats Pajamas

Miraculous what those expensive, exclusive salons can do.


45 posted on 09/28/2004 7:34:48 PM PDT by Ciexyz (At his first crisis, "President" Kerry will sail his Swiftboat to safety, then call Teddy.)
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To: tet68

I wonder if this is the stuff Michael Jackson used


46 posted on 09/28/2004 7:35:15 PM PDT by woofie (This document was generated in 2004 by a computer)
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To: Cats Pajamas

Hey Gang! I found Liveshot Kerry over here!!
47 posted on 09/28/2004 7:35:40 PM PDT by rinkrat (This November, be considerate... Flush the Johns and lower the seat.)
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To: Cats Pajamas
We wanted to know, is this stuff safe? Springfield dermatologist Dr. Stanley Glazer says, yes. He says the active chemical... DHA or Di-Hydroxy Acetone is what's found in most over-the- counter self-tanners.

Hmmm, I thought from my chem studies that Di-Hydroxy Acetone always made a person's face seem longer by expanding the jaw area and that it also absorbed into the brain to make a person more wishy-washy in his thoughts? Good luck to comrade Kerry with his use of this chemical!!!!!!!!!!

48 posted on 09/28/2004 7:36:41 PM PDT by eeriegeno
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To: igoramus987

Is that idiot obvious or what?? He says "I got a tan from playing football" but you can clearly see he has some greasy stuff on his face and one side is lighter than the other. I bet you tomorrow he`ll be back to his usual Lurch dull pasty white pallor.


49 posted on 09/28/2004 7:37:05 PM PDT by Imaverygooddriver ( What`s the difference between Windows XP and John Kerry? Windows XP works once in a while.)
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To: BobS
You can pick them out with your fingers because your fingers are warm and develop vapor pressure around them that insulates them, momentarily.

Dude.

This reminds me of some skit where this college frat guy would drunken boast that he would dip his - well, "grapes" - in anything.

50 posted on 09/28/2004 7:38:22 PM PDT by Palmetto
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To: Imaverygooddriver

WOW! Looks like he just stepped out of the jungle.


51 posted on 09/28/2004 7:40:15 PM PDT by the rifleman
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To: Jaysun

Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!


52 posted on 09/28/2004 7:40:21 PM PDT by JesseJane ( “fake but accurate” ... it’s like saying a body in a pine box is “dead but lifelike.” -- Lileks)
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To: woofie

Woofie,
Really, what is a boofen? It sounds good. Maybe I'll get one if it's not to scary.


53 posted on 09/28/2004 7:40:54 PM PDT by Cats Pajamas
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To: Cats Pajamas

I made a mistake. Don't use LNO. I meant LN2. LNO is a rocket oxidizing propellent. Stay away from that.


54 posted on 09/28/2004 7:42:36 PM PDT by BobS
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To: Imaverygooddriver
Is that idiot obvious or what?? He says "I got a tan from playing football" but you can clearly see he has some greasy stuff on his face and one side is lighter than the other. I bet you tomorrow he`ll be back to his usual Lurch dull pasty white pallor.

How can you get a tan from 1 hour of football? With his complexion, he would burn up not tan.

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us
55 posted on 09/28/2004 7:43:49 PM PDT by igoramus987
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To: BobS

Damm.. another thing off my list. :)


56 posted on 09/28/2004 7:44:26 PM PDT by JesseJane ( “fake but accurate” ... it’s like saying a body in a pine box is “dead but lifelike.” -- Lileks)
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To: lonevoice

The man is so weird!

He's a walking facade.

57 posted on 09/28/2004 7:44:44 PM PDT by elli1
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To: Cats Pajamas

How long does this stuff last?


58 posted on 09/28/2004 7:45:08 PM PDT by foolscap
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To: Palmetto

I would get fired if they found out I was playing with their stuff like this. I was just waiting for someone else to complete his job and Rush went to break:)


59 posted on 09/28/2004 7:45:44 PM PDT by BobS
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To: Cats Pajamas
What do you mean?

Well, it looks like your offer to do a swimsuit issue has generated a few admirers already.

60 posted on 09/28/2004 7:45:46 PM PDT by speedy
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