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What Japanese Women Want: A Western Husband
The Christian Science Monitor ^ | December 6, 2004 | Bennett Richardson

Posted on 12/06/2004 9:12:18 AM PST by MississippiMasterpiece

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To: MississippiMasterpiece

bump


861 posted on 12/06/2004 6:20:02 PM PST by VOA
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Comment #862 Removed by Moderator

To: Trasha

LOL!!!!!

OK, good one....


863 posted on 12/06/2004 6:30:37 PM PST by Cogadh na Sith (--Scots Gaelic: 'War or Peace'--)
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To: evets

Go-go!


864 posted on 12/06/2004 6:32:05 PM PST by baseballfanjm
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To: Hi Heels

Demon fish! Girl, you were cruisin' for trouble.

I have way too many tanks too, but it is an addiction, what can I say......Right now, I am force feeding a Pacu and fretting over the oscar. And they are my least favorites.


865 posted on 12/06/2004 6:36:33 PM PST by najida (Aunt to Miss Emily Ann- Cutest Baby in the World.)
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To: HairOfTheDog
Well, I'd like to deny it... I don't think there are many women who have their plan together well enough to put up hoops for a guy to jump through to for the sake of making a guy pass some heroic test. Not women who have reached the age of maturity.

To me, that is the most deadly thing that can happen. Any game playing, any manipulation, anything that is the least bit not honest and the relationship is doomed. Ok, maybe just for me, but believing in fairy tales is what got me into this mess ;)

866 posted on 12/06/2004 6:41:58 PM PST by najida (Aunt to Miss Emily Ann- Cutest Baby in the World.)
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To: fritzz
Definitely a different prospective on marriage...market value

Everyone has that perspective in the abstract. They try and find the best mate they can obtain given a laundry list of criteria and priorities under the circumstances they find themselves in. Most people do not think about it explicitly like this, but subconsciously it is how we choose mates, and we are wired to have little difficulty "falling in love" when we do find a reasonable match.

Not that long ago, marriage explicitly had relatively little to do with the modern notion of romantic love and more to do with finding a good match as determined by society to a great extent and to a lesser extent personal preference, the notion being that love would come later if the match was reasonable without too much effort. Nothing has changed, but modern culture has increasingly developed this nouveau modern fairytale conception of what marriage is that almost completely ignores the underlying themes of the ages that were a part of marriage for a reason. The problem is not with love per se, but with the shallow understanding of its relationship to marriage.

When you look for a mate in a market where you will have more value, it generally follows that the mate you find will value you more. It is more complicated than just "falling in love" -- more the symptom than the "disease" -- people need to feel and be valued in a relationship for it to work. This inevitably leads to what are effectively "markets" in the search for marriage. I don't think many people view it literally in this way (including myself), but it is the dynamic of the system.

867 posted on 12/06/2004 6:46:44 PM PST by tortoise (All these moments lost in time, like tears in the rain.)
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To: TalonDJ

Ok, a question on the male "just be friends" bit. Isn't it possible that a girl could like and respect someone, and not see him as a marriage partner? I have a number of male acquantainces that I like and respect and enjoy spending time with, but wouldn't marry because they don't share my values. If one of them asked me on a date, how am I supposed to say "I value your company but there's no chance of 'us'" without kicking him in the junk?

I can't possibly see making a guy jump through hoops. Unless I explicitly state the hoops. "Want to marry me? Well... you're going to have to get Daddy's permission first... *bat my eyelashes innocently*". But that's a different matter, I think...


868 posted on 12/06/2004 6:51:09 PM PST by JenB (I will not turn into a snake. It doesn't help.)
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To: Mark17

ping


869 posted on 12/06/2004 7:01:59 PM PST by chasio649
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To: JenB; TalonDJ
Ok, a question on the male "just be friends" bit. Isn't it possible that a girl could like and respect someone, and not see him as a marriage partner? I have a number of male acquantainces that I like and respect and enjoy spending time with, but wouldn't marry because they don't share my values.

Yeah, that was more or less what I was getting at, but you stated it better. (As usual!)

I don't always wear my faith on my sleeve - I don't hide it or anything, but people that I don't know through church or through something like this don't necessarily know my beliefs and values. And if someone who I know doesn't share any of the same beliefs and values asks me if I'd like to go out...and I know it's not gonna go anywhere...isn't it kinder to say something in the general vein of the "just be friends" line than it would be to lead him on?

Ugh...that makes me sound like such a snob, but hopefully makes sense.

870 posted on 12/06/2004 7:11:05 PM PST by RosieCotton (He is a very shallow critic who cannot see an eternal rebel in the heart of a conservative. - GKC)
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To: HairOfTheDog
The little gal in the sailor suit looks like she might be about to hit puberty!

She sort of reminds me of that "Go-Go" chick from the movie "Kill Bill."

Be afraid... Be very afraid!!!

Mark

871 posted on 12/06/2004 7:18:49 PM PST by MarkL (Power corrupts. Absolute power corrupts absolutely. But it rocks absolutely, too!)
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To: pbrown
We coulda had alotta pets, but we chose alotta kids.....wait a minute....they are pets in a weird sense, only the two legged kind. LOL

Just a lot more expensive, and they take a lot longer to house-train!

Mark

872 posted on 12/06/2004 7:23:53 PM PST by MarkL (Power corrupts. Absolute power corrupts absolutely. But it rocks absolutely, too!)
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To: Trasha
Hey! Are you Greta Van Susteren!?

I've got a 'thing' for her. It's very wrong. I'll bet she talks dirty--through that crooked smile....

Very wrong.

873 posted on 12/06/2004 7:27:23 PM PST by Cogadh na Sith (--Scots Gaelic: 'War or Peace'--)
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To: ladyjane

Well said, and I'm sure you want to leave it at that.


874 posted on 12/06/2004 7:28:18 PM PST by katana
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To: MarkL

875 posted on 12/06/2004 7:30:35 PM PST by baseballfanjm
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To: JenB
Sigh... yes... because all American women are evil and Asian women are inherently loving, giving, and submissive. (It's never because they want a green card, is it?)

This has nothing to do with a green card.

876 posted on 12/06/2004 7:32:43 PM PST by expatguy (Fallujah Delenda Est!!)
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Comment #877 Removed by Moderator

To: Semper Paratus
Considering the attitudes of many American women an Asian wife may be preferable.

We already had a thread on that a couple years ago and it went up to thousands of posts, I think.

878 posted on 12/06/2004 7:47:04 PM PST by xm177e2 (Stalinists, Maoists, Ba'athists, Pacifists: Why are they always on the same side?)
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To: RosieCotton; JenB
Guys like concrete reasons. Telling him you don't thing you have a chance and why is much better than the vague 'it's not you it's me, no wait it really is you, but it is not personal, really. we can still be friends.'
Go ahead, tell him you need a man that shares your faith. Just think, that might be a chance to witness to him. Of it might get him thinking about things that lead to salvation. That would be much better than leaving him with just a vague feeling of nonspecific inadequacy, wouldn't it?
879 posted on 12/06/2004 8:06:37 PM PST by TalonDJ (FR really needs a singles thread....)
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To: TalonDJ

of = or


880 posted on 12/06/2004 8:07:26 PM PST by TalonDJ (FR really needs a singles thread....)
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