Posted on 12/08/2004 8:50:15 AM PST by presidio9
EVER been driven up the chimney by a Christmas song that you really, really hate? New Jersey researchers have named the six worst Christmas songs of all time, as picked by holiday-music fans who were asked to rate more than 600 yule tunes.
The biggest lump of coal goes to "O Holy Night" as sung by the foul-mouthed Cartman from "South Park," according to Edison Media Research.
Close behind are Seymour Swine & the Squealers' butchered "Blue Christmas," "Jingle Bells" by The Singing Dogs and, separately, Barbra Streisand — and "12 Days of Guido Christmas" by the Ha Ya Doin' Boys.
"We play — very lightly — the Barbra Streisand version of 'Jingle Bells' because she's got a following in New York," says Jim Ryan, programmer of top-rated Lite FM (WLTW/106.7).
"People tend not to like it because it's a really fast, up-tempo version of 'Jingle Bells' — almost like she did it as a goof," Ryan told The Post.
WPLJ (95.5 FM) music director Tony Mascaro says his research turned up a sixth song that listeners can't stand: Elmo & Patsy's "Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer."
(Excerpt) Read more at nypost.com ...
Walking Around In Women's Underwear
by Bob Rivers
"Lacey things, the wife is missing.
Didn't ask, for her permission
I'm wearing her clothes,
her silk panty hose.
Walking around in women's underwear.
In the store, there's a teddy.
With little straps, like spagetti.
It holds me so tight,
like handcuffs at night.
Walking around in womens underwear
In the office there's a guy named Melvin.
He pretends that I am Murphy Brown.
He'll say "Are you ready?"
I'll say, "Woah man! Lets wait untill the wife is out of town."
Later on, if you wanna,
We can dress, like Madonna.
Put on some eye shade, and join the parade.
Walking around in women's underwear.
Lacey things, missing.
Didn't ask, permission.
Wearing her clothes, silk panty hose.
Walking around in women's underwear.
Walking around in women's underwear.
Walking around in women's underwear......"
Yep, me too. I did not know until recently that the television network execs back when that special first aired really objected to the "highly religious content" of the program.
I would've thought that it pre-dated such nonsense, but apparently not. I'm a bit surprised that nobody has tried to stick an advertising break in that particular spot.
It seems Lennon and McCartney needed each other to limit each other's worst tendencies; after they split, McCartney got sappier and Lennon got more pretentious lyrically and minimalist musically.
There's also this:
"IT'S THE MOST FATTENING TIME OF THE YEAR"
Copyright Bob Rivers
It's the most fattening time of the year
With that pumpkin pie filling
and everyone swilling down eggnog and beer
it's the most fattening time of the year
It's the lip smackingest season of all
while you're shopping you're cheating
impulsively eating that junk at the mall
it's the heav-heaviest season of all
There'll be turkeys for basting
and stuffing for tasting
and giblets and gravy will flow
there'll be cookies that mom baked
and leftover fruitcake
from a Christmas a long time ago
It's the scale flattening time of the year
while your diet you're blowing
there's calories going
straight down to your rear
it's the scale flattening time of the year
There'll be after meal dozing and arteries closing
cholesterol levels will grow
it's too cold to jogging
too brisk for tobogganing
so pass me a hot buttered roll
It's the most fattening time of the year
all those gingerbread shingles
and chocolate Kris Kringles will tremble in fear
it's the most fattening time -
it's the belt loosening time -
it's the most fattening time of the year!
Oh I agree it makes sense. I just can't imagine they are the most attractive of accessories. Probably more practical then stylish. :-)
Maybe she is referring to Yeshiva the way Christians talk about Sunday school.
She attended Erasmus Hall HS. Which is where I would have had to go if I had attended public school.
Ooohhh! I love that one!
And "The Restroom Door Said Gentlemen"
(need to go find the lyrics)
Kinda like the songs on your worst list!
"Jingle Bells" is one of my favorite carols, probably my first favorite, in the sense that I was trying to sing it even before I could pronounce "jingle"...I kept singing "doo-wah", Mom says. I even like Barbra's version. I do still stand by my contention that that recording should be declared the official Christmas carol for the hyperactive.
LOL! I like that one.
No, that's why it was a perfect "Grandma" purse!
Even worse though were the ugly Army issued eye glasses. They were black frames and were known as "RPGs" or "rape prevention glasses".
I have another besides that annoying Feed The World song by Band Aid.
It is: anything by Manheim Steamroller
My oppologies to Rush Limbaugh because I know he like their music, but I H-A-T-E- Manheim Steamroller. I find their Christmas music very annoying. To me it's like dragging your nails across a chalk board.
Yeah, that one *is* a steaming pile. So is Springsteen's version of Santa Claus Is Coming To Town.
I've also got to mention Stevie Nicks' version of Silent Night. Her voice is well suited to the song, and the arrangement is fairly traditional, but she just *had* to go and cut out the third stanza. You know, the part that goes:
"Son of God, love's pure light. Radiant beams from Thy holy face, with the dawn of redeeming grace.".
I guess that part was offensive to her.
How about Mr. Garrison's "Merry F'ing Christmas?"
LOL!!!
I would have had Darlene Love's "Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)" in there. Especially ahead of ANYTHING by Celine Dion.
Where I work, I hear so many bad renditions of Christmas songs, it is not funny. I am just glad that I do not know all of the performers. Among the more annoying ones are Celine Dion shouting, Ann Murray singing her consonants, (O commmmmme all ye faithful-a big no-no for anyone that has ever sung in any good choir) and some black performer (Whitney Houston perhaps?)shouting, grunting and howling like a sick coyote through several Christmas standards. Hearing butchered Christmas songs by serious performers only serves to point out the general lack of real talent in pop music today.
FIVE GOLDEN TOUKES!!!
Is that the same guy that does "Sabado Gigante?"
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.