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TERRI'S BROTHER SAYS MOVIE "PASSION" CHANGED HIS LIFE

`Passion' Helped Brother Overcome Anger

Mar 25, 2005
By MICHELLE BEARDEN

TAMPA - The anger was eating him up.

For Bobby Schindler, it became almost unbearable; anger at the legal system, his Catholic church and his God. The grueling court battles and legal maneuverings to keep his sister, Terri Schiavo, alive was almost too much to bear for him and his family.

Then last year before Easter, something happened. Schindler went to see the controversial film ``The Passion of the Christ.'' He still tears up when he recalls that turning point.

``I can't begin to tell you the profound effect it had on me,'' says Schindler, 40, his voice breaking. ``After I walked out of there, I re-evaluated everything in my life.''

He went to church on that Good Friday and sat for a long time in prayer. That was the beginning of his journey on the road back to God.

Now, a year later, the Tampa Catholic High School mathematics and science teacher depends on the strength of his renewed faith to carry him in these emotional days. The clock is ticking for his sister, so sleep and food are luxuries he can't afford. The past week has been a blur, from a trip to Tallahassee to lobby politicians to a barrage of media interviews.

He hears the critics who wonder why the Schindlers just can't let Terri go. He doesn't care what they think.

``She's our family,'' he says. ``We're doing everything we can to get her back home with us. If you faced the same circumstances, you'd be doing the same thing.''

He never wanted to be thrust in the public arena and in the media glare. What he likes best is listening to Bruce Springsteen and teaching spinning classes at Harbour Island Athletic Club. In the teacher's lounge at school, he's known for his quick wit.

But much has changed in his life since his older sister suffered a heart attack 15 years ago at age 26 and fell into what doctors call a persistent vegetative state. He hates that term, calling it ``offensive.''

He says it was tough in the beginning to visit her. The siblings had always been close - 13 months apart - and he mourned for the Terri he had lost.

``To see her in that condition ... and realize she could possibly be like that the rest of her life, that wasn't easy,'' Schindler says. ``I've changed a lot. Today, I want nothing more than to take care of her.''

He says his sister is still beautiful to him. He remembers seeing a caption on the infamous video of his mother leaning close in to Terri, getting her to smile - ``The Face That Changed the Nation.'' He says if Terry does die, she has done a lot of good for a lot of people, getting them to talk about issues that needed to be raised.

His life is altered as well. Schindler says he will continue to advocate for the disabled. He knows many people are uncomfortable even looking at disabled people, saying ``it puts mortality at their own doorstep.''

``The way they deal with their fear is to say, `Let her go, let her die, because we don't want to see her in that condition','' he says. ``But that's wrong, We have to take care of them and show compassion. We don't let them starve to death.''

Schindler has read the evaluations and heard testimonies by doctors. Nothing will convince him Terri is not aware of her surroundings. Three years ago, he went to a Springsteen concert in Miami and got to shake his rock hero's hand. He returned home and excitedly recounted that moment to his sister.

He says Terri smiled at the news. And that didn't surprise him: She had given him his first Springsteen album.

``I know she hears me, and she knows what I'm saying to her,'' he says. ``She reacts all the time. It's not random, and it's not reflexive. And there's not a doctor in the world who can tell me otherwise.''

His best friend and fellow teacher, Mark Jacim, says the two talk a lot about their faith. He has watched his friend deal with the worst of circumstances yet avoid falling into self- pity.

``Instead of falling away from God and religion, he dives into it,'' Jacim says. ``And he helps me through my own problems, even though he's got enough of his own. I have nothing but admiration for Bobby.''

This summer, they're going to take a road trip out West. Two good friends, he says, single and on vacation, ``blowing off steam.'' He thinks it will be good for his buddy, no matter the outcome.

Schindler says he knows the outpouring of prayers from around the world have helped Terri and his family. Still, given the circumstances, he doesn't know whether he will feel joy this Easter. What he does know is when Terri's time to die comes, she will go to heaven.

And then, he says, it will be his time to forgive.

``I'll do what I have to do to get through this,'' he says. ``My relationship with God will only get stronger. I won't let anger take over my life.''

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"It saddens me greatly that we have to run to court to get court orders to protect Terri Schiavo from the abuse of the state of Florida," said Felos.