[Pillows]

Shut the F&%K up! Stop talking. Let her talk and keep your mouth shut until she invites you to say something. Say it quick, make sure whatever you say is about her; preferably a question about her, then shut up again until the next time she stops talking long enough for you to say something else about her.z

Hmmmm.....no wonder I'm single. I never talk much at all.....I am naturally very quiet....so this certainly wouldn't work with me.

[Thumper1960]

Well.....usually the man will need to make sure that the woman gets the idea that he's worth talking to.

[justshutupandtakeit]

The proper technique is to draw you out by finding a subject which will open you up. These things are best handled by men who: 1) truly like women; 2) like to hear their stories; 3) have a wide variety of subjects upon which they can converse.

[rwfromkansas]

I am really shy as well. I don't talk much in the college cafeteria when I go to eat because the stuff being talked about just doesn't interest me usually unless it is 1) theology 2) politics 3) a movie I actually have seen...half the time they talk about something I haven't even seen.

However, when I meet somebody I think is interesting, especially girls, I try very hard to talk to them. I write down conversation topic ideas. I talk to them. I ask them questions about everything. I look up some funny jokes to tell. In a sense, I do everything I can to prep myself to get over my shyness with this person, and the way I can do that is by coming "prepared." It works. I did this with one girl and she eventually began to like me....and that was after she first said there was no way we would be anything but "just" friends. I was amazed. It didn't work out, but you will be amazed at how much just trying to get out of your shell will help, even if it is just with that one person. In my case, this girl was very quiet herself. It was like pulling teeth getting her to talk and rather humorous that I was the talkative one.

But, you just have to get out of your comfort zone and do it.

Frankly, coming up with things to talk about isn't as easy as they say it is. I know. But, you have to do it if you really think somebody is worth the effort. That is the only way you can get to know them.

I don't go on many dates; I much prefer being friends first, not jumping into things with an akward first date etc. But, I will say that on these dates, I do my best to be talkative. And, it pays off.

You just have to do it. It may not be easy, but it sure is worth it.

And, this way, we only exert our energy on people worthy of it, not on everybody we see like those outgoing types. :)