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Every child is different, and I can agree that willful wrongdoing could merit a good ass-whupping and 12 years old isn't above that threshhold. However, I grew up in a totalitarian, disciplinarian household where my brother (admittedly willful) was beaten and whupped right up the age of 16 but given no place for his own spirit to claim responsibility and grow. The short term effects were a short-lived sense of order, the long-term effects were a provocation to wrath and fury.

There is a point where boys are expected to grow into reasonable men. Twelve years old is not four years old. It's time to respect their intelligence and teach them how to be men of self-restraint who don't need their butts whupped. Twelve years old is plenty old enough for a boy to learn the expectations involved in becoming a man...and men don't need spankings.

We have lowered the expectations of boys to the point of madness. Young men need direction and training for their future, but they'd be better off learning self-discipline from within instead of consequences from without. I've noticed that the school of hard knocks is full of hard heads.

Twelve years old is much too young to start treating boys like they are grown men. Thats the problem with them now. Kids are just little mini-adults in the system's eyes.

I am sorry your home situation was abnormal. That happens sometimes, but it shouldn't be used as a gauge. I did not say that twelve year olds can't be respected and learn a great deal from examples, but I will emphatically insist they are not little adults that can grasp and process adult thinking. That's why they have us as fathers and mothers.

Twelve years old is plenty old enough for a boy to learn the expectations involved in becoming a man...and men don't need spankings

What? I've got news for you bud, I don't know what kind of family you were brought up in but at 12 I was hell on wheels. Old enough that I figured spankings were a mere by-product of having "fun" and young enough to think responsibility was for the older members of my family. I had a blast! And my mother beat the hell out of me daily. I regret none of it. When the 'ol man laid into me I knew I had gone too far.

12 year olds are in limbo between being a toddler and a teenager. Don't take it away from them by expecting them to be adults.

I suggest you read Patrick McManus, the outdoor author and enthusiast to realize what life at 12 can be like. You will laugh your butt off. Especially if you were privileged enough to grow up in the great outdoors.

The funniest author I have ever read!