Keep the tip...
What do you call a leper in a bathtub?
Soup...
My father used to sing us this song when we were kids. He's so tone deaf that I have no idea what the tune really is, but the words go like this:
"Leprosy!
Omigosh I got leprosy!
There goes my eyeball,
right into my highball.
There goes my left leg,
it rolled under the beer keg"
Needless to say we had a peculiar childhood :lol:, this is one of the less weird songs he sang.
LQ
One of my favorite jokes ever (if you don't like dirty jokes, don't read on) is a leper joke.
Guy sits down in a restaurant. Looks up and realizes he's seated looking at a leper just across from him.
The leper looks up at the same time and says, "Hey, I'll move if it's a problem."
The guy says, nah, and commences to eating. Looks up. And ralphs.
The leper says, "Hey, I'll move, I'm sorry."
The guy says, "Nah, it's not you, siddown, it's okay."
A few minutes later, the waiter's brought new food, the guy's eating, and looks up, and...chunks fly.
The leper says, "Hey, I TOLD you, I'd move. I'm gonna go."
The guy says, "Nah, siddown, look, it's not you, it's okay."
A few minutes later, the waiter's brought a completely new mean, the guy's eating, and looks up, and...technicolor yawn city.
The leper says, "Hey, this is starting to make ME sick. I'm leaving!"
The guy says, "Nah, stop, it's not you--"
(It's awful, last chance to skip the post)
--it's the guy behind you dipping his bread in your neck."
I thought it was Stu.