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To: LibertarianInExile
Thanks for the clarification.

I have a few possibilities of my own to add, if I may:

1. Immaturity/bad habits/contentious disagreements on the part of one or the other spouse that is overlooked or ignored before the marriage, because of the "Frog Prince" or "Frog Princess" syndrome (he/she will magically transform at the altar or marriage "will change him/her.").

2. Inability to adjust to a new lifestyle, and the sacrifices in spending that accompany it.

3. Belief that spouse is supposed to be the source of unending happiness, even when outside events put pressure on the marriage.

4. Willingness to disparage spouse, particularly verbally, when the disagreement is not about something personal in nature.

5. Failure to respect spouse, or to acknowledge their good deeds.

6. Failure to recognize how spouse expresses love (men tend to be doers, women tend to be sayers).

7. Failure to be responsive to spouse's needs for physical affection (whether it's hugging, kissing, lovemaking, or even to rest when exhausted).

8. Marrying someone who seems a good choice "for now" or "because someone better might not come along."

9. Marrying someone with incompatible political, religious, or child rearing beliefs, vastly different goals, different moral structure, etc. While many couples can overcome these differences and thrive under them, having these in common dramatically increases the chance for a successful marriage.

10. Consistently putting the needs of friends, family members, etc. ahead of spouse. A person more attached to their parents, best friends, or siblings is doing a disservice to their spouse.

I'd like to see a study that focuses on some of these things.

86 posted on 07/10/2005 10:34:04 PM PDT by TheWriterInTexas (Proud Retrosexual Wife)
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To: TheWriterInTexas

I'd like to add something to your list:

1a. Alcoholism


91 posted on 07/10/2005 10:37:17 PM PDT by bannie (The government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend upon the support of Paul.)
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To: TheWriterInTexas
The only thing I'd change about your list, is the order you have the suggestions in. I'd take 5,6,7, and 4, and make them 1,2,3,4. I think failure to respect the spouse, and not acknowledging good deeds, or in general appreciating the person they married, are root causes of why marriages fail.

It does make some sense that working women have higher divorce rates, it's easier for them to leave- financially speaking. Also, they may not be as committed to the idea of maintaining the family, if they work. But, many women have to work.

It helps if the couple has some kind of religious base for their marriage-Makes them both realize that making the marriage work is not just their personal choice, but, a commitment they made to each other before God.

146 posted on 07/10/2005 11:47:06 PM PDT by Pajamajan ( "Where there's life, there's hope"-Terri Schindler's message to the world-Never forget)
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To: TheWriterInTexas

"I'd like to see a study that focuses on some of these things."

I agree on every one of those studies, I think it'd sure be nice if sociologists would spend time on something useful for a change instead of how alienated everybody is or how $#@$#@@ low their self esteem is. Those would be useful educational tools.

And I'd love to see a few more studies. How 'bout considering a correlation between divorce and A) people who regularly watch romantic comedies, B) believe in love at first sight, C) believe it's not the size of the ship but the motion of the ocean?


148 posted on 07/10/2005 11:48:06 PM PDT by LibertarianInExile ("Property must be secured or liberty cannot exist." -- John Adams. "F that." -- SCOTUS, in Kelo.)
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