Loved the ad and bought 3 T-shirts! I like to wear 'em when I know Lieberals will be around.
Posted on 07/19/2005 9:31:21 PM PDT by CHARLITE
It looks like the National Rifle Association is in need of a new place to hold their 2007 Convention. How about having it at my house?
Thanks to the Columbus City Council’s implementation of their own so-called “assault weapons ban,” the gun-rights group has decided to take their convention—and the estimated $15 million that comes with it—elsewhere.
Members of the City Council and other Columbus-ites are confused and angry.
Somehow, these dolts don’t understand why the NRA—an organization that exists solely to protect the rights of law-abiding citizens to keep and bear arms—would pull their convention from a city that just passed legislation banning guns!
Of course, these same people would be “shocked” if Burger King cancelled the Cheeseburger Convention just because the city banned the Whopper, or “disappointed” that Columbus Mardi Gras festivities bombed because the city council banned beer.
On the bright side, the cancellation did give Councilman Mike Mentel the chance to make the following ridiculous observation:
“This seems a lot like putting an ‘economic gun’ to our heads. And, frankly, folks in our city think that is inappropriate and ineffective.” Jerry Seinfeld, beware. Councilman/Comedian Mike Mentel (and his stupid analogies) will be here all week.
As usual, the nauseating “purpose” of the Columbus assault weapons ban is to “curtail criminal and gang violence.” According to Mayor Michael Coleman, the assault weapons ban is just one tool they are using to combat the threat that criminals and gangs have on city neighborhoods and police officers.
After all, the Mayor wouldn’t want criminals and gang members left wondering if the home they intend to rob might be inhabited by someone wielding a bigger gun than they have. That just wouldn’t be fair. Next, perhaps Mayor Coleman will begin fighting to ban burglar alarms and locks on doors.
Fear not, Buckeyes! While your mighty Mayor wants to make sure criminals have a fair chance to harm you, Coleman has zero tolerance for the evil NRA.
“We will not be held hostage by the NRA or any other group which attempts to force its agenda against the safety of our residents,” he said.
Coleman is absolutely right, assuming that by “residents” he was referring to the safety of the aforementioned criminals and gang members. In fact, the NRA is so determined to hold Columbus-ites “hostage,” they’re not coming to Columbus!
Officials said the NRA convention was always welcome—as long as vendors didn’t sell assault weapons. I imagine the exact conversation went something like this:
Columbus Spokesman: “We welcome your 60,000+ convention-goers, your vendors, and especially your money; just don’t sell your products.”
NRA Spokesman: “Bite me.”
But don’t fret, Columbus, all is not lost. According to city officials, several other groups are interested in renting the convention center during the time the NRA was supposed to hold its convention.
The distinguished list of potential replacements includes the following: Gangbangers United, Felons are People Too, The Coalition for the Tolerance of Crime, the Democratic Alliance For Criminal Gun Rights, Thugs and O.G.’s for a Weaker Columbus, the Ohio Chapter of the Paris-based Surrender Monkeys for Peace, Buckeyes for Babs: a Barbara Streisand support group, the highly anticipated Feinstein/Schumer On Ice and, of course, the Democratic Party
As for the NRA, Mr. LaPierre, you’re cordially invited to hold the 2007 Convention at my place.
I’ll throw some steaks on the grill, unless y’all want to kill something else to eat on your way. While the beef is cooking, we can crank up the new season of Magnum P.I. on DVD, and after dinner I could serenade the membership with the complete Ted Nugent anthology on my stereo. Unless, of course, you were to bring “The Nuge” along for a special, live performance.
We will have a door prize for the person who can guess how many total firearms my family owns (liberals, the result will frighten you), as well as a skills competition to test the marksmanship of attendees. Note: targets in the shape of Saddam Hussein, Osama bin Laden, Pol Pot, and others will be available for purchase.
Of course, the affair will be B.Y.O.G. Anyone not packing at least two weapons will still be allowed to attend, but will have to stay outside in the humidity.
Note to self: Don’t forget to invite the Armed Females of America (http://www.armedfemalesofamerica.com). While we’re at it, any woman that shows up at the Convention toting an assault rifle will get in free! Talk about Ladies Night!
What do you say, Mr. LaPierre? I am eagerly awaiting your reply.
About the Writer: Matthew Holmes is a North Carolina based columnist. His articles have been featured in the North Carolina Conservative, ChronWatch.Com, World Net Daily.Com, News Max.Com, Opinion Editorials.Com, and other media outlets. He can be reached at blade729@msn.com
Ha! Great article.
Sounds like my kind of party. To hell with Columbusted, OH. You piss off your customer, don't be surprised if he takes his business elsewhere.
Of course those marxist idiots on the left never were any good at free market economics.
Kudos to the NRA for having the guts to stand up to this nonsense on the part of Columbus' City Council.
They are always welcome to hold the convention somewhere closer to my place, of course...
Columbus Spokesman: “We welcome your 60,000+ convention-goers, your vendors, and especially your money; just don’t sell your products.”
NRA Spokesman: “Bite me.”
I'm not a gunowner (although I'm certainly a 2nd Amendment supporter and my father was a lifetime NRA member), but you gotta love the NRA. Their presidential election ad with a French poodle wearing a Kerry sweater and the slogan "This dog don't hunt" had me laughing for days. They took a principled stand in pulling their convention from Columbus, and I applaud them.
Columbus is now in the running with San Francisco for "dumb*** move of the year by a city goverment" award. I hope when election time comes the citizenry remember all of the names of the ones responsible. Hold the next one here in Kingman (AZ). At least we would appreciate and welcome them
This writer is my kind of fella.
Members of the City Council and other Columbus-ites are confused and angry.
Well DUH!!!
Way to go NRA for pulling out of Columbus,Ohio !
Hey... Colorado is a great place to hold a convention!
Members of the City Council and other Columbus-ites are confused and angry.
No, they were confused and stupid when they implemented the unconstitutional gun ban, then were confused and angry when NRA didn't kowtow to their leftist routine.
Loved the ad and bought 3 T-shirts! I like to wear 'em when I know Lieberals will be around.
Thanks so much for posting that ad. The poodle's face even LOOKS like Kerry! It was great to see it again. Wish I had a T-shirt of it!
These highly trained, college educated, folks can't see that the key is to outlaw crime??? Ooops, see I went right over their head again. I'll slap myself on the wrist.
If criminals want assault rifles they DO NOT buy them like an honest citizen would. Criminals either steal guns or buy stolen guns.
You people need a wake up call - before lunch hopefully.
FYI
Fox News just had the mayor of Columbus on because he has a son over in Iraq. No mention of this thread's topic.
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