And I spoke plenty of Russian when our kids came home. But it didn't stop them from setting fires, explaining to me how to torture a cat, or spitting on me and refusing any food from my hands(while later stealing it from the fridge at night), lying in the obvious face of evidence to the contrary, and quite frankly, making the use of the word "child" seem to be completely ridiculous.
In the meantime you take this child out in public and they become little angels and everyone is fawning over them, having been charmed into oblivion by a mere child. You begin to want to take the last piece of furniture the child set on fire with you on outings to show everyone.
It's very difficult to humanely parent a child who is not attached to you and actually more or less hates you. You just spent a small fortune to add a child to your family and you have been dying to put your arms around this kid for a year now, and she comes home and spits on you and bites you.
We actually did a television talk show about being afraid of your (adopted) child.
Tania is 16 now and doing pretty well, though probably harboring some oppositional stuff beyond the norm for a teen. I remember well how much I despised her at one point, though. Our attachment counselor told me to put her in daycare and she only lasted a few days. They called to tell me she was tripping the other children and laughing at them when they fell. She was like that movie, The Bad Seed, and I am not kidding. I would never have made it without hurting her if not for my husband and our church.
They all have told me that as soon as they are 18, they are headed back to Russia. Go figure.