One can be fairly certain that some things in Scripture are part of a story. Jonah in the belly of a big fish, for instance.
Jesus used parables as teaching vehicles. It's hard to imagine that that methodology was not ingrained into Jewish history as a way of explaining and discussing God's relationship to the Jewish people.
This seems odd to me. You say, "All I'm saying is that it seems pretty officious of the bishops to sit down and say, "This is true" or "This is myth," when they really have absolutely no way of knowing." It is the job of bishops to not only know the truth but see to it that the seminaries teach it to the priests. Maybe you are the one with the problem, if you have "absolutely no way of knowing."