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To: bentfeather; All
ENTRIES FROM HOSPITAL RECORDS
 
 
She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states that she was hot in bed last night.
 
Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
 
On the second day, the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.
 
The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
 
The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
 
Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.
 
Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
 
The patient refused autopsy.
 
The patient had no previous history of suicides.
 
Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant, with only 40 lb. weight gain in past 3 days.
 
Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.
 
Since she cannot get pregnant with her husband, I thought that you might like to work her up.
 
She is numb from her toes down.
 
While in ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.
 
The skin was moist and dry.
 
Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches. 
 
Patient was alert and unresponsive.
 
Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.
 
She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until she got a divorce.
 
I saw your patient today who is still under our car for Physical Therapy.
 
Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accomodation.
 
Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
 
The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
 
The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stockbroker instead.
 
Skin: Somewhat pale but present.

808 posted on 11/11/2005 9:08:26 AM PST by Radix (Wishful Thinking: A Tag Line Field which actually contains enough places to complete a serious thou)
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To: Radix

814 posted on 11/11/2005 9:11:38 AM PST by luvie ( REMEMBER THE ALITO! Part of the Bucket Brigade.......Bushbot and Tony Snowbot!)
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