Unreal.
I popped half a dozen pellets into a friend's butt who I found out had been making out with my girlfriend in my High School's parking lot.
The principal walked up to me, took my pellet gun (hand gun), took me to the dean's office, had him whack my butt with a paddle once for every pellet in the other guy's butt, and told me that while he understood why I was mad, I could never shoot anyone's butt full of pellets on school grounds ever again.
Today, I'd get the death penalty.
All ready for spring training???