Replies

This whole topic is a mixed bag. Personally, I think the government should butt out. A reputable marriage agency would already require that sort of info and Russian women are smart and savy enough to find the reputable ones. If they're not on a reputable agency site chances are that's for a reason - so "buyer" beware.

Secondly, there is a myth that Russian girlfriends cannot receive visas to come for a visit. That is not correct. While the visa denial rate is high, it has nothing to do with whether the girl is your girlfriend or not. It has all to do with whether or not she has enough reasons to return (bank account, apartment, good job, children, parents, etc.). Plus, a lot of the American boyfriends either don't write a good enough support letter (stating they will ensure she returns home at the end of her stay and stating that they will bear all expenses for her) or don't write one at all. Long before I got married I was able to help Russian girlfriends get tourist visas - but they all met the above qualifications. And, don't forget, if the American boyfriend hasn't actually met his "girlfriend" and she doesn't have a job or other ties to the motherland she ain't gonna get the visa.

Marriage Agencies - I've seen a lot of them in action in my travels throughout the FSU and what I've seen disgusts me. Sixty or seventy year old guys after the twentysomethings (or younger). They should know that the girl is just looking for a way out and the girl should know they're dealing with a pervert. However, I've seen some men searching for a bride after beind discouraged about American women's apparent preference to put career first and family second. A Russian woman won't do that.

The other bad thing about the marriage agencies is almost all of them sell their database to other agencies. Sometimes girls are listed on multiple sites when they only signed up for one. Some of these girls have ended up on "blacklists" because unscrupulous agencies have had someone else pretend to be them and bilk stupid foreigners out of money with the sick mother, ill son, etc., sob stories. Personally, I have no sympathy for anyone dumb enough to fall for those stories.

Another myth is the criminal background check the US Embassy requires. Anyone with any time in Russia knows that all it takes is a little cash to get a clean report. I'd be willing to bet good $$$$ that a lot of prostitutes have managed to slip through the system. So, the American man following the new rules is actually at a disadvantage because he's not having a credible background check done on his "love." Best thing to do is go over there on your own. Meet her friends, her parents, see her in her element. If warning bells ring in your head heed them.

I don't think the government should stay out of it at this point.

I think there is a very real security risk involved. While there's tons of highly educated Europeon looking women in Russia, there's also a fair amount of Muslims, and Jihadist who could exploit the system, and probably do.

Also, what I've heard and seen of agencies, even reputable agencies, leads me to beleive the girl doesn't have a lot of say in things, or any sort of clear picture of the man before he arrives, if he arrives. I don't think this legislation is a perfect solution to either the security or information gap problem. But I don't think it's some sort of demogogery stealing away rights. Any man who wants to fly to Russia and pay an interpreter to meet women can (and I'm of the opinion if they can't do that they shouldn't be pondering marrying one). Further this law doesn't affect foreign owned sites, though many are complying anyway out of an interest in giving their female clients this knowledge. I think a lot of folks are making a mountain out of a mole hill with respect to this law.

I think there are legitimate folks using these agencies to find a wife because they are disenfranchised with American feminists, but I cna't fathom a reason they'd be against sharing such information with a would be suitor.

My wife's friend who used an agency to meet her british husband is still on blacklist sites after a rogue agency stole her information. She was very worried going into the interview whether the government looked at those sites when giving the visa interview.

As far as the background check I was under the impression that the US government requested this and that it is relatively difficult to forge. I should HOPE we have folks scruitinizing these to find forgeries. Also I seem to recall that the government runs another check on both parties when they apply for adjustment of status.

I still think this legislation is ho hum and not something to be alarmed about, though something that would probably be more effective if gone about differently (perhaps an online tool to access detailed translated public records such as sex offended convictions etc, though God only knows what agencies would charge to let women use this tool and how much that would cost).

Secondly, there is a myth that Russian girlfriends cannot receive visas to come for a visit. That is not correct. While the visa denial rate is high, it has nothing to do with whether the girl is your girlfriend or not. It has all to do with whether or not she has enough reasons to return (bank account, apartment, good job, children, parents, etc.). Plus, a lot of the American boyfriends either don't write a good enough support letter (stating they will ensure she returns home at the end of her stay and stating that they will bear all expenses for her) or don't write one at all. Long before I got married I was able to help Russian girlfriends get tourist visas - but they all met the above qualifications. And, don't forget, if the American boyfriend hasn't actually met his "girlfriend" and she doesn't have a job or other ties to the motherland she ain't gonna get the visa.

I'm not certain when you brought these ladies over, but unless they have strong ties to home there is no way they qualify under the visa waiver program. I have seen doctors and lawyers turned down. A letter insuring the will guarantee their return has not been helpful. Indeed, we have suggested letters to use, which need to be modified for each case. The only single RW I have seen get a visa was when a man brought her by lying she was coming to help him write a book.

Marriage Agencies - I've seen a lot of them in action in my travels throughout the FSU and what I've seen disgusts me. Sixty or seventy year old guys after the twentysomethings (or younger). They should know that the girl is just looking for a way out and the girl should know they're dealing with a pervert. However, I've seen some men searching for a bride after beind discouraged about American women's apparent preference to put career first and family second. A Russian woman won't do that.

Granted, the older men need to know there is no way a 20 year old is interested in him for love. However, I'm not certain that is fair to blame that on the agency. They sell the name and address. When you pass a 10 year age difference one can expect problems, albeit I have seen some good marriages with larger differences.

The other bad thing about the marriage agencies is almost all of them sell their database to other agencies. Sometimes girls are listed on multiple sites when they only signed up for one.

That's not quite correct. One man created a special database for listing multiple agencies, and that database lists the girls for that agency in with all the other agencies. As an example Blue Sapphires Agenccy is one member of that group, and when you look at their site you are actually seeing ladies from multiple agencies. Note carefully the ladies listed are from many cities. Now when you look at other agencies and see a different format, but all of the same ladies you are looking at the same network.

Some of these girls have ended up on "blacklists" because unscrupulous agencies have had someone else pretend to be them and bilk stupid foreigners out of money with the sick mother, ill son, etc., sob stories. Personally, I have no sympathy for anyone dumb enough to fall for those stories.

And many of these ladies are blacklisted by men who have been rejected. There are several men who are constantly taking trips to Russia and the FSU for what we call the Former Soviet Union Sex Tour. They write these ladies in advance, and then when they meet them promise the world for sex. If the ladies do not perform, then they let them know they will be blacklisted as scammers. Mind you, I don't doubt there are some bad women and prostitutes playing the game.

Another myth is the criminal background check the US Embassy requires. Anyone with any time in Russia knows that all it takes is a little cash to get a clean report. I'd be willing to bet good $$$$ that a lot of prostitutes have managed to slip through the system. So, the American man following the new rules is actually at a disadvantage because he's not having a credible background check done on his "love." Best thing to do is go over there on your own. Meet her friends, her parents, see her in her element. If warning bells ring in your head heed them.

Granted one needs to be very careful. The police report at one time came from the local milita, and we knew women could get a good report with $$$. That changed about the time I married Nadya, and afterwards it had to come from Moscow. One may be able to give a few $$$ to change things, but I am not certain how that can be done now, and nobody else has been able to find out if it can be done.