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Jack Bauer puts us boring types to shame
Knight Ridder Newspapers ^ | Tue, Feb. 14, 2006 | LORI BORGMAN

Posted on 02/21/2006 2:46:51 PM PST by presidio9

I just finished watching an episode of "24" when the husband asked what I had going on for the week. "You know I always feel rotten after '24'," I said. "Oh, feeling worthless again?" "'Extremely. Like a total slacker." "24" is the television action-thriller featuring Counter Terrorism Unit agent Jack Bauer, who in only four television seasons and 96 hours has saved the world four times. And what will I be doing tomorrow? I have a dental appointment. Big whoop. Jack Bauer once survived a plane crash and pulled a chunk of a jetliner out of his thigh with his bare hands and didn't even scream. Me? I let the world know when I need an ibuprofen for my carpal tunnel. Jack Bauer once discovered that a cell phone was actually a bomb and hurled it out a window to save the president. My cell phone rarely rings, let alone explodes. Jack Bauer never sleeps, never blinks and has been killed twice. Even then he only stayed dead for an hour. I need a minimum six hours of sleep a night or I can't form complete sentences the next day. Who in their right mind would want to talk about their life after watching Jack Bauer live his? The entire CTU staff is equally spellbinding. They are all of child-bearing age but you never see them bustling out of the office to attend a soccer game or a fielding phone call from a kid asking if there are any more Oreos. They are constantly viewing grainy surveillance videos, slamming suspects up against walls, pounding on their desks and yelling, "Get me the president!" Oh yeah, and they all type 250 words a minute on the computer. I've yet to see a one of them eating a tuna sandwich at their computer. This doesn't mean it hasn't happened. What it really means is that "24" is so intense, I watch most of it with my eyes closed. Just once I would like to see that touch of realism where a CTU agent spills a Diet Coke on a desk. Or does a Google search. Instead, they flash from computer screen to computer screen, effortlessly accessing bank statements and tracking Ken Lay-size deposits of suspected enemies. Me? I don't have a clue how to crack into someone's bank account. I suppose you'd need some basic info like name, address and phone number to get started. Sure, I could search somebody on switchboard.com, but I'd get hung up on the site asking me if I wanted to use my credit card to pay $14.95 to get the unlisted phone number. I don't know, $12.95 maybe, but $14.95 sounds a little pricey. That would never happen to Jack Bauer. The computer would instantly spit out the unlisted phone number in order to avoid being shot. Sure, by comparison my life is dull. But in all fairness, I am distracted by the basics that never seem to dog Jack Bauer. Things like eating and sleeping. How does Jack Bauer get clean socks? Anybody? Does he never go to an ATM? When does he get his haircut? Does the man ever check his credit card statement? Silly me. That must be what he does during the commercial breaks.


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Miscellaneous
KEYWORDS: 24; chucknorris; jackbauer; newbiesgetblasted; walkertexasranger
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To: presidio9

Good shot!


41 posted on 02/21/2006 3:15:02 PM PST by don-o (Don't be a Freeploader. Do the right thing. Become a Monthly Donor!)
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To: GeorgefromGeorgia

....."Commercials are tough waiting on the show to startup again.".......

TIVO is our friend!


42 posted on 02/21/2006 3:18:00 PM PST by aShepard
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To: presidio9
I love watching 24, but a couple things about it have bugged me.

Spoiler alert - if you missed a couple episodes ago avert your eyes.

You have this super duper agency that can put tracking devices in computer chips and tap into any database in the country, but they don't think to trace a cell phone call made right next to the canister of nerve gas they are tracking. Duh! Evil henchman just called his evil boss and you should be able to find the location of the evil boss from which tower he's using and approximate direction and distance from there. And, by the way, track him from then on when he carries his phone with him. I guess the ACLU had the CTU running scared on wiretapping.

Second, when I worked for a defense contractor with much less important documents, we didn't have wide open work spaces and glass lined conference rooms. We had offices with doors that locked and big vaults to meet in.

< end 24 rant>

43 posted on 02/21/2006 3:18:07 PM PST by KarlInOhio (Next Olympics I want wide track bobsledding. Four sleds on the track at once - like Ben Hur on ice.)
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To: presidio9
And what will I be doing tomorrow?

I will be teaching 125 twelve year olds science and geography...and because of watching 24, on less than 5 hours sleep I might add.

44 posted on 02/21/2006 3:18:13 PM PST by mware (The keeper of the I's once again.)
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To: M203M4

Oh, my God! I'm laughing so hard I can't see! This has to be the FUNNIEST post I think I've ever read!


45 posted on 02/21/2006 3:18:26 PM PST by jackibutterfly (.)
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To: jackibutterfly
Random Chuck Norris Fact Generator
46 posted on 02/21/2006 3:20:18 PM PST by presidio9 ("Bird Flu" is the new Y2K Virus -Only without the inconvenient deadline.)
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To: M203M4

Is that you Chuck????


47 posted on 02/21/2006 3:20:39 PM PST by mware (The keeper of the I's once again.)
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To: jackibutterfly
These are pretty good, too.

There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.

Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

Chuck Norris gave Mona Lisa that smile.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

48 posted on 02/21/2006 3:25:16 PM PST by Texican72 (www.chucknorrisfacts.com)
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To: American Quilter

This is one of the few posts that was actually more effective without paragraphs ... it captured the momentum of the show, how wired many of us feel after the hour is up, and was very "stream of consciousness" in a humorous way. Not Strunk and White-ish.

As a '24/Jack Bauer fan, I thoroughly enjoyed it.


49 posted on 02/21/2006 3:27:55 PM PST by EDINVA
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To: Larry Lucido

All I can say is "Wow! What a rush!"


50 posted on 02/21/2006 3:28:00 PM PST by Finny (God continue to Bless President G.W. Bush with wisdom, popularity, safety and success.)
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To: MarkeyD
Funniest One IMO

Upon hearing that he was played by Kiefer Sutherland, Jack Bauer killed Sutherland. Jack Bauer gets played by no man.

51 posted on 02/21/2006 3:32:55 PM PST by Michael Barnes (One for the thumb)
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To: 68skylark

I want to know what happened to all the Moslems terrorists. All I see are bad white guys now in PC24.


52 posted on 02/21/2006 3:48:31 PM PST by Zuben Elgenubi
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To: presidio9

Paragraphs are our fiends, like Moslems.


53 posted on 02/21/2006 3:49:30 PM PST by Zuben Elgenubi
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To: Paulus Invictus
Husband and I just started watching "24". Didn't know if we would like it, so we just rented the first dvd. As soon as it was over, we both were ready to run back to Blockbuster and break down their locked doors, so we could get the next ones.

We've now watched 24 episodes, and that's all Blockbuster has ---- are their more that aren't available on dvd's yet?

54 posted on 02/21/2006 3:54:12 PM PST by bjcintennessee (Don't Sweat the Small Stuff)
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To: presidio9

Great post thanks for the laugh


55 posted on 02/21/2006 3:57:05 PM PST by Kimmers
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To: presidio9
Who do you think would win a fight between Jack Bauer and Chuck Norris?

Butkis.

56 posted on 02/21/2006 4:00:51 PM PST by HIDEK6
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To: bjcintennessee
Seasons 1-4 are all on DVD....just put your life on hold and take the phone off the hook and go for it....that is how we got hooked on 24. We gave our son season 1 for Christmas and that is all we did late into the night and got up the next day and watched the rest....WE now have watched them all and now watch and TIVO it....
57 posted on 02/21/2006 4:01:45 PM PST by Kimmers
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To: presidio9

Get these two together and terrorism would be gone in 24 hours!

58 posted on 02/21/2006 4:03:21 PM PST by Bommer (Have you insulted a prophet today? http://pages.sbcglobal.net/bommer/mofactor.html)
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To: presidio9

The supporting cast is noteworthy.

The Chloe O'Brian character is my favorite. Facial expressions that don't quit.


59 posted on 02/21/2006 4:09:00 PM PST by edwin hubble
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To: presidio9

I've seen all four years and I missed the "liberal conventions".... This is also Rush's favorite show


60 posted on 02/21/2006 4:09:28 PM PST by hford02 (we want indictments for NSA leaks)
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