[8mmMauser]

I was kind of hoping he'd experience a mysterious collapse, suffer severe brain damage, lose his voice and 91% of his intelligence, develop a rectal itch that he can't reach, have all his surplus organs sold for transplants, have his arms and legs ground up as cat food, and then have a judge REFUSE to take him off a ventilator or a feeding tube for the next 79 years, and make him sit upright the whole time facing a TV that plays "Days of our Lives" reruns 24/7/365.

Well, that's a good start.

[T'wit]

Awrot, awreddy! So he should develop an unreachable itch in all seven of his oracular recti.

Your turn.