I think you make a lot of good points...my mom made the best pie crust I ever had, and the best dumpling, and she taught me how to make them...yet my pie crust never turns out as flaky as hers did, and my dumplings are never as light....
Yet, I wager, I make the best lasagne of just about anyone...
We all have our special dishes, I guess, that we can make better than anyone else...
The secret to pie crust is not to mix it completely, so the gluten doesn't develop all the way. Gluten makes dough tough. Also, try pastry flour for pastry. It's softer, less gluten.
Not a problem with bread dough, you can mix that to your heart's content. Use bread flour.
Lightly mix cake, too, and try cake flour.
If you're originally from the South, try White Lily flour -- even though it's all purpose, it's very soft.
You can keep all your flours fresh by sealing them up tightly and storing in the freezer. Your mama probably cooked more often than you do, so possibly her flour was fresher.
Also, do you use a sifter? That makes baked goods lighter.
BTW, when I said "your mama probably cooked more often" that wasn't intended to be an insult.
Seems like most of us these days eat out more or use frozen foods, since so many of us work.