Posted on 04/10/2006 7:49:22 AM PDT by presidio9
There are some substances that should never be mixed, like sodium and chlorine, oil and water or peanut butter and caviar.
To that list we now can add Paris Hilton and Mother Teresa.
Paris Hilton is, of course, the 25-year-old hotel heiress who is famous for, well, for being famous. She is rich, beautiful and the star of a well-known sex video in which she gets extremely frisky with a former boyfriend.
Mother Teresa, born Agnes Gonxha Bojaxhiu in Macedonia in 1910, took her more famous name when she took her vows as a nun in 1931.
She went on to work tirelessly for the poor in the slums of Calcutta, India, and eventually established her own order of nuns, “The Missionaries of Charity.”
So what do the two have in common, other than their species and gender?
Well, according to People magazine, Paris Hilton is on the short list of actresses being considered to play Mother Teresa in a movie about the nun’s life.
Indian film director J. Rajeevanath says Hilton and Mother Teresa share a close facial resemblance. Hilton, for her part, disagrees, insisting the two look nothing alike, but says “I love Mother Teresa,” who, of course, died in 1997.
Mother Teresa was small and somewhat stooped, her face marked with lines of wisdom and compassion, her smile loving, her eyes kind.
Paris Hilton is young, blonde and apparently averse to wearing excessive amounts of clothing in public
It seems like a perfect match to me.
Actually, this would not be the worst piece of Hollywood casting in history, but it would be close.
John Wayne’s casting as Genghis Kahn in the 1956 film, “The Conqueror,” is one casting decision that just might be worse. In that film the Duke was heard to utter such immortal lines as “She is a woman — much woman. Should her perfidy be less than that of other women?”
Another low point in the annals of movie casting came when Tony Curtis was given the role of 1952’s “Son of Ali Baba,” in which he said the line, “Yonder lies the castle of my father,” which, with his accent came out sounding like “Yondah lies the castle of my faddah.”
“The 10 Commandments,” also brings us some unusual casting, with film gangster Edward G. Robinson appearing as Dathan, the Hebrew who betrays his people by working with the Egyptians. You half expect to hear him spouting his lines with a cigar between his teeth.
In 1956’s “Teahouse of the August Moon,” Marlon Brando was miscast as Japanese interpreter Sakini. Fortunately the movie was supposed to be a comedy.
Among more recent casting decisions that have drawn criticism were Ben Affleck as Tom Clancy’s protagonist Jack Ryan in “Sum of All Fears,” and John Travolta as Terl in Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard’s “Battlefield Earth.”
It has long been rumored Ronald Reagan was originally the choice to play Rick in the classic “Casablanca,” but that has been discounted. That would have given the Paris-Mother Teresa pairing a run for its money.
Then there is the recent controversy over casting openly gay actor Chad Allen in the lead role in the Christian film “The End of the Spear.” The directors certainly weren’t guilty of type casting.
Of course, acting is the art of making the audience forget they are watching an actor playing a role, and concentrate on the person being portrayed. Jamie Foxx pulled it off with his Academy Award-winning portrayal of Ray Charles in “Ray,” and Philip Seymour Hoffman won a best actor Oscar for his role as Truman Capote in “Capote,” and Joaquin Phoenix earned an Oscar nomination for playing Johnny Cash in “Walk The Line.”
This could be the opportunity of a lifetime for Paris Hilton. If she can make audiences believe she is Mother Teresa, they might as well stop handing out Academy Awards, because no one could ever do a better acting job than that.
Outside of Washington, that is.
Had to get in a shot against Reagan. Predictable and tedious.
Why?
In fairness, Bogart was a slightly better actor than Reagan, but I agree that the referrence could not be less relevant to this column, which is generally about yutzes stepping in to play revered individuals.
Much easier on the tongue, too.
Yes, but all of these people actually know how to act!
(Denny Crane: "I Don't Want To Socialize With A Pinko Liberal Democrat Commie. Say What You Like About Republicans. We Stick To Our Convictions. Even When We Know We're Dead Wrong.")
That line was my original motivation for posting this article.
And who can forget Jim Caveziel's nomination for his portrayal of Jesus? Oh wait...
Why?
The problem with this tramp playing Mother Teresa is the fact that it is just plain wrong on so many levels. Has anybody even asked the harlot if she even knows who Mother Teresa was, or where and how she lived?
Ummm sure, I can see the resemblence.
I think Paris would be the perfect choice to play Mother Teresa.
/sarc
The only way Paris Hilton could pull off any role other than a vain, vacuous blonde is by coloring her hair and playing a vain, vacuous brunette.
You've got to wonder if Hilton can even pronounce any of these words.
I never bothered to watch her video, so I have no idea if her cuffs match her collar, but somehow I suspect she's been a vain, vacuous brunette playing a vain, vacuous blonde all along.
"There are some substances that should never be mixed, like sodium and chlorine
Why?"
Salt is bad for your blood pressure. I believe what he wanted to say was that Household Ammonia and Chlorine Bleach shoudl not be mixed. That's certainly true.
Warning: Do not do image searches for Paris Hilton if your Safe Search is off on Google. Many very skanky photos will appear.
Why?
This website describes it as "extremely exothermic, producing a bright yellow light and a great deal of heat energy."
http://www.angelo.edu/faculty/kboudrea/demos/sodium_chlorine/sodium_chlorine.htm
And if Safe Search is on you will get a skank with as little clothing as possible.
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