Shut up & walk your lobster (Whole Foods Considers Stopping Lobster Sales)

Austin American Statesman ^ | 6/13/06 | John Kelso

[Cat loving Texan]

No wonder people think this town is goofy. The Whole Foods Market chain headquartered here in Austin is thinking about stopping the sale of live lobsters because it could be cruel to the lobsters.

"We're reviewing the entire process literally from boat to plate to see if we can make some significant improvement in that whole supply process," Whole Foods spokeswoman Kate Lowery said.

One way Whole Foods could make some significant improvement would be to release all the lobsters into Town Lake. That way I could collect them and eat them.

Still, on Thursday the Whole Foods leadership will discuss whether to discontinue marketing live lobsters because the lobsters may not be getting humane treatment. At issue here is what people do with the lobsters when they take them home — that is, boil them and dip them in drawn butter. "It's ultimately how they're handled by the consumer after they go home that's a concern," Lowery said.

What are we supposed to do? Give them names like Larry the Lobster and take them for a walk?

Then there's the problem of the lobster's in-store living conditions. Whole Foods would like the lobsters to have an environment similar to their natural habitat.

"They like dark areas, and they like solitary," Lowery said. "You can imagine how they would go and kind of burrow into rocks, creating their own space." I think I went drinking once in a place like that in the Warehouse District.

Lowery added that at some point Whole Foods will also address the ticklish issue of selling live clams.

Are you concerned about clams' feelings? Have you ever had a conversation with a clam? Wait. Let me rephrase that. Have you ever had a conversation with a clam when you weren't on acid?

If the answer is yes, get a job at Whole Foods.

Another concern is the way children bother the lobsters by tapping on the lobster tank glass. I don't care about that. But I wish science could figure a way to put children on mute and vibrate, like with a cell phone. Now there's a concept that would sell.

Anyway, I went over to the Whole Foods store to see if the live lobsters are getting a bum deal in the seafood section. Actually, the lobsters are getting off easy. They're still kickin'. It's the tilapia and salmon that are getting screwed. The tilapia have been hacked to pieces, and the wild salmon have been mushed up with spinach and feta cheese and turned into burgers.

Ain't a vet in town could bring these salmon back. And you're telling me the lobsters have a bum deal?

One of the problems, said the guy working at the Whole Foods fish counter, is that they can't feed the lobsters in the tank. "When you eat, you then poop, and this creates a dirty tank," he said. Yeah, I've noticed that connection. Maybe Whole Foods could hand the lobsters some bum wad.

Another problem, the seafood counter guy said, is the way lobsters are transported to the store. "They're put in a box and wrapped tightly with wet newspaper over the lobster," he said.

So Whole Foods could pick up the lobster in a limo. At the prices they charge, they could afford it.

John Kelso's column appears on Sundays, Tuesdays and Fridays. Contact him at 445-3606 or jkelso@statesman.com.

[Cat loving Texan]

How stupid is this? An animal with no nerves that dies instantly.

[Peach]

FGS. The world has gone insane.

[50sDad]

Listen, first they'll mandate some kind of "leathal injection" nonsense so the lobster "just drifts off to sleep", and before long they'll have the vote.

[Hydroshock]

This world has been insane for a while.

[RobFromGa]

Actually, the lobsters are getting off easy. They're still kickin'. It's the tilapia and salmon that are getting screwed. The tilapia have been hacked to pieces, and the wild salmon have been mushed up with spinach and feta cheese and turned into burgers.

LOLOL!

[OPS4]

Must be the same India based crowd, that thinks grandma is a cow.
Ops4

[Hydroshock]

Leathally inject them in to a pot of boiling hot watter.

[Roccus]

Still wearing their skeletons on the outside.

[roaddog727]

Fresh Live Boiled Lobster.........

With drawn butter...............

abd COLD beer.......

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Chilled Lobser with Tarragon Hollandaise sauce........

Chilled Macon Villages........

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

[null and void]

A lethal injection of drawn butter?

[CaptRon]

I think it was Alton Brown who assuaged his audiences trepridation about boiling them by telling them not to worry about it as they were the cockroaches of the sea!

[nuke rocketeer]

John Kelso is great! I posted another one of his ramblings earlier this year.

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1632212/posts

[Roccus]

In colonial Boston a law was passed to limit how many times a week servants could be fed lobster.

[unixfox]

Caught and ate in Cozumel, yummy.

[Roccus]

Taste anything like the North Atlantic variety?

[basil]

Why is it that mainly freaks work at Whole Foods? I quit going there--too many scary people in a confined space--LOL!

[Kirkwood]

Um, Lobsters do have nerves and do feel pain. They just don't react to temperature-based pain the way that you do (aversion response).

[50sDad]

"Look out! It's giant atomic lobsters! RUN! They've VENGFUL! Carry giant lemons on spears!"

[Tanniker Smith]

No problem. I'll get mine at Fairway. They were cheap when I got them a couple of weeks ago. And they were pretty good, too. I only freaked out a little at keeping them fresh for the rest of the day until we were ready for them.

And it was a lot cheaper than mail-order -- the postage is as expensive as the lobsters themselves.

[marlon]

"Listen, first they'll mandate some kind of "leathal injection" nonsense so the lobster "just drifts off to sleep", and before long they'll have the vote."

And really shouldn't a person be able to marry a lobster and have all the same benefits as other couples. After all who are we to judge?

[roaddog727]

MONSTER SPINEY!

How much did it weigh? 8 Pounder?

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

[Tempest]

Ohhh no. what will the rich snots find to go with their caviar!? The horror!!!!

[battlegearboat]

Who can afford Whole Foods?

I fell for the wild salmon banner the other day. I paid $30+ for a plank. It was good, but not that good compared to other choices costing less than half as much elsewhere.

Yes, you must be freaky to shop there. My Ronald Reagan cap drew scowls and I swear that woman rammed me with her little cart that was carrying a baby who's face was painted black.

Everything in there is priced sky-high and everybody in there acted very stuck up. Even more so than the staff at Williams-Sonoma.

[frankiep]

There is nothing better than lobster. I do wonder though how and why anyone ever even thought to eat them. I mean look at them. They look like disgusting, mutated cockroaches.

[Calvin Locke]

An animal?

Classification
Lobsters are classified in the phyllum Arthropoda (which also includes shrimp, crabs, barnacles, and insects.) ...

Nervous System
The lobsters nervous system is very primitive. In fact it is most similar to the nervous system of an insect. Neither insects nor lobsters have brains. ...

(From The Lobster Institute)

[xpertskir]

Well I am surprised that they sell meat to begin with. Whole foods is absolutely dripping with hippy stench. In fact I think "hippy stench" has to be a listed ingredient on their groceries.

[nuke rocketeer]

Well,.......just consider the name and the mission! This is how they keep costs down, by hiring those who irreversably damaged their brains with recreational drugs. Pay 'em minimum wage, give them the leftover produce that will be thrown out tomorrow as a bonus, and a discount for the organically grown pot grown out south of town towards San Marcos. Spring bonuses include fresh mushrooms from the cow patties on the dairy farms east of town.

How the heck to I know that?

I'll never tell!

UT grad 1979

[null and void]

Why is it that mainly freaks work at Whole Foods? I quit going there--too many scary people in a confined space--LOL!

Don't EVER come here, hear?

[Alouette]

When are they going to stop selling corn and tomatoes?

Tomatoes are alive!

When you cut them, they BLEED!

And corn SCREAMS when you strip off its husk!

[battlegearboat]

You sound like a mushroom teasipper.

[battlegearboat]

Oh please, the peas!, the peas!

[Alouette]

Give peas a chance!

[Old Seadog]

Lucky Lobster says "Eat me."

[NRA1995]

One of the problems, said the guy working at the Whole Foods fish counter, is that they can't feed the lobsters in the tank. "When you eat, you then poop, and this creates a dirty tank," he said.

Which is about how they live in nature, right? Sitting in their own sh*t....

[HamiltonJay]

Cruel? Cruel? This is an animal that's going to either be chopped up live and grilled.. or dropped live in a boiling pot of water... or cooked alive in a giant sand pit for a lobster bake... and you are worried about its stress level being shipped and sold in a store???


ITS A GIANT FREAKING COCHROACH!

[HamiltonJay]

Its a store for elitists, pure and simple. Lets dillusional folks think they are better than everyone else.. when in fact they are just dumber.

[ArrogantBustard]

Neither insects nor lobsters have brains. ...

Huh? Does this mean they're Democrats?

[battlegearboat]

We've yet to hear from Sponge Bob Squarepants on this thread...

[Rocket1968]

---"Neither insects nor lobsters have brains. ...---"


Must be related to Pelosi and Reid.

[nuke rocketeer]

Guilty!!Chalk it up to youth!

[nuke rocketeer]

ITS A GIANT FREAKING COCHROACH!

But a tasty one when cooked snd dipped in butter!

[thebaron512]

Got to get me a vat of melted Butter!!!!

[cyberaxe]

.....man this story brought back to mind a little situation I had about 15 years ago.....

.....we do a lot of work for super markets, including installation of alot of there refrigerated equipment.....

.....a chain out here got on the seafood market kick back then and had us install lobster tanks in all their seafood markets.....

.....they kept calling us back to one particular store because some of the lobsters kept dying in the tank.....

.....after a long investigation, which included have the manufacturer of the tanks come out we were at our whits end to find the problem.....

.....this tank was working just like all the others, temp and ph levels were recorded and all seemed normal.....

.....but every morning there would be at least 2 or 3 dead lobsters in the tank.....

.....finally, the chains lost prevention crew found the problem.....

.....the night stock crew smoked dope on their break and had lobster races down the stores isle at night! LOL.....

.....i don't think they ever informed PETA.....

[battlegearboat]

Well, we all had a good laugh!

[battlegearboat]

The night crew toked

lobsters choked

[Shimmer128]

Give me your poor lobsters, your tired lobsters, seeking to be free....


give him to me and I'll show you abuse!

[RonHolzwarth]

This reminds me:

1. When you put two lobsters together without the restraining rubber bands on their claws, within minutes you have the larger (or maybe quicker) lobster having a lobster feast. That's why they're solitary animals!

2. Adolf Hitler was also concerned about this problem, and so he passed a law in Germany in the 1930s which required cooks to put a metal grill at the bottom of the pot of boiling water. Then the lobsters would not feel the pain of contacting the heat at the bottom of the pan. (he did not understand thermodynamics)

3. Lobsters are not kosher, that is, not acceptable as part of an observant Jewish diet.

[cyberaxe]

.....one of the chains loss prevention crew told me that when he interviewed one of the stock crew, he actually said.....

....."Dude, they were fine when we put-em back in the tank".....

....."just swimming around like all the other little happy gus".....

....."we didn't shotgun them or anything".....

.....idiots.....

.....if your gonna smoke-up some lobsters.....

.....at least offer them some melted butter as a last request.....

[Alouette]

Who can afford Whole Foods?

I like to grind my own spices, and Whole Foods has a selection of whole spices that are hard to find anywhere else, and when bought by the oz. is very inexpensive.

[nuke rocketeer]

and laughed and laughed and laughed........

At nothing!