Posted on 10/08/2006 5:20:54 PM PDT by GretchenM
We asked Tom and Ray to give us their Top 10 scariest cars. They came through and were even kind enough to tell us for whom exactly the cars are scary.
Scary for: Bystanders and other drivers
Looks like an early Ford Mustang, right? It is, on the outside anyway. The inside, however, is all Ford Falcon, a pedestrian vehicle if ever there was one. So what, you say? Well, drop a Boss V-8 into a Ford Falcon and what do you get? An overpowered car that doesn't have the shocks, brakes or structural rigidity to turn or stop well. In other words ... look out!
Scary for: Bystanders and other drivers
Garish? Sure, but that's not our complaint. This was the height of muscle-cardom. This was when American car manufacturers figured out how to make humongous, powerful engines. Sadly, they hadn't yet figured out how to do handling, so you had an overpowered rear-wheel-drive car with no weight in the rear end. As a result, when there was half a drop of rain on the ground this thing spun around like Dizzy Dan from the Battling Tops. Anything but perfect weather, and it was totally uncontrollable.
Scary for: Firefighters and plastic surgeons
What could possibly be scarier than a car endorsed by both the Shriners' Burn Ward Fundraising Division and the League of Asbestos-Clothing Manufacturers? These cars had an unfortunate tendency to explode when hit from behind, since that's where the gas tank was located. Ford did eventually fix the problem, but the damage was done, so to speak. Being anywhere near a Pinto still gives us visions of Robert Duvall calling in airstrikes in "Apocalypse Now."
Scary for: Drivers
Here's a scary idea: Design a car so the occupants' legs are the very first line of defense in a frontal crash. Then add poor stability. Shaped like a pizza box standing on end, the Microbus blew around on the highway like Calista Flockhart in a wind tunnel. Drivers never had time to worry about these issues, though; they were too busy trying to keep themselves warm in the chilly Bus.
Scary for: Onlookers
Just take a gander at this. No wonder they named it the Thing; it was styled by the same guy who invented the cookie sheet. Thankfully, they rusted quickly enough that few remain to invoke PTSD for former owners.
Scary for: Mechanics
The Monza was designed as an economy car, so it was built to have a four-cylinder engine. Unfortunately, when sales slowed down, some geniuses at Chevy decided that what the Monza needed was a V-8, so they shoehorned one in there. The result? Half the spark plugs are almost impossible to reach; to get at them you need rappelling equipment and an air chisel. Whenever one of these beauties reared its ugly grille in front of the garage, every mechanic with more than six weeks' experience would go running for the men's room and lock the door.
Scary for: Drivers
Rolling over is fine if you've got personal knowledge of Knuckles Goldberg's wrongdoings and you're heading into the witness protection program. Rolling over at 70 miles per hour on asphalt, when you're swerving to avoid an errant chipmunk? Not so good. These cars were cheap, so they were purchased mostly by young drivers — the people most likely to end up hanging from the seat belt with four wheels in the air. Scarier still, the Samurai wasn't that much worse than other SUVs of the era.
Scary for: Drivers
Take a good look at this car. Kind of small, wouldn't you say? Now imagine yourself in a Festiva surrounded by amphetamine-snacking tractor-trailer drivers. Going 75 miles per hour. At night. In the rain. Scared yet? We sure are. We once got in trouble for saying this car came right from the factory with a funeral wreath on the grille.
Scary for: Society, the environment and therapists
When you stop to think about what kind of person would buy a Hummer, you begin to worry about the future of our country. This is a person who feels so inadequate inside that he has to drive around pretending the 82nd Airborne will be backing him up in his next argument over a parking space. On the environmental side, the Hummer burns through resources like there's no tomorrow. And if enough idiots keep driving them, there won't be.
Scary for: Onlookers
Well, now we know where the designers of the Volkswagen Thing went to work after VW canned their sorry butts. Take a good look at this vehicle — it's a tribute to the art of unfortunate compromises. Someone at GM said "take a minivan, whack off a few corners and make something we can call a utility vehicle." The car itself was not bad — rather utilitarian, actually — but it pinned the needle on the visual pollution scale.
Posted on 10/2/06
You know I used to think Lucas made total crap, until I started working on VWs. Bosch gives Lucas something to step in.
Trust me! It was the 390. I don't think they made too many of them, but it did ship. It was the engine that fell between the 351 and the 427. I got the car around the end of the production year, and it was a "love at first sight" purchase. I had taken my boss -- who was new to the Seattle area -- to the Ford dealer on a Tuesday evening, and saw the car sitting in the lot. By Saturday I had my loan worked out with the credit union and drove the car off that same lot!
I had a friend who had one of these Javelins, only without the spoiler. And then he did some work to jack up the power more. Lord he could drive that thing and boy did it move. He finally sold it because he was afraid he was going to kill himself.
I had approximately this same Mustang. Black vinyl top, green paint. Circa 1972/73. Wonderful car.
You owned an MGB also, huh? That was the cutest lil' pup, and could steer on a dime - on the occasions it wasn't in for repairs. But the biggest problem was the *%?!#$!!! British-made electrical system.
There's nothing like the thrill of driving at night on a freeway with a lot of 18 wheelers and having all the MGB lights go out. The truckers couldn't see you anymore, but you could still see their hubcaps at eye level.
The funniest thing is, though, that I still have fond memories of a few fun times with it. When it was good it was very, very good, but when it was bad......:)
Had more character than Ford's entire output from 1980-2000.
And it definitely bears no resemblance to the Aztek.
When you walk around London and see the traffic & parking problems, the Smart Car indeed appears smart.
Most London traffic moves about about 20 mph max so a hard impact is unlikely.
You are right, of course, but don't forget the target market: the very idiots you reference who judge everything strictly on appearances and have that gifted insight into who should drive what.
This is why 'environmentalists' and 'animal lovers' will try to prevent the necessary culling of deer herds who destroy vegetation even in their own backyards and the same people who will never go to bat for an endangered snake or reptile.
As Mike McConnell of WLW Radio in Cincinnati says, 'the bigger and browner the eyes, the more activists will try to save it.'
LOL! I trust you but not so sure of my memory.
Engines Available for 1969 Mustang.
Engines
200cid 1V 6-cyl 115 hp T Code
250cid 1V 6-cyl 155 hp L Code
302cid 2V V-8 220 hp F Code
302cid 4V V-8 290 hp Boss G Code
351cid 2V V-8 250 hp H Code
351cid* 4V V-8 290 hp M Code
390cid 4V V-8 320 hp S Code
428cid 4V V-8 335 hp Cobra Jet Q Code
428cid* 4V V-8 335 hp Cobra Jet-R R Code
429cid 4V V-8 376 hp Boss Z Code
* Also available on Shelbys
Chicken, it could have been your great-grandmother driving your MGB, and every cop and state trooper would be waiting to cull the MGB out of any speeding herd of cars and give the MGB driver a ticket.
Dunno why, but the MGB was a real speeding ticket magnet, I never received so many tickets before or after I drove that British racing green beauty.
Should have been named the Amazon......
You guys are right, the 390ci was available for the 1969 Mustang.
I had thought the 390ci had been dropped by 1969 but not so. In 1970 I spotted a used 69 Boss 429 Mustang on a car lot. The asking price was $2,995.00. It was a bargain but no way could I afford it at the time. The same year I found a 427 Cobra on a Exotic Sports Car lot in Memphis, price $12,500.00. Those were the good old days.
A little known fact was that you could bolt a 390ci into a 1957 or older Ford car. Another bolt-in was the large 430ci Lincoln, Edsel engines into the older Fords. You could run rings around the 283 Chevy guys. Heh!
but the MGB was a real speeding ticket magnet
I was even caught by the police airplane on our local interstate.
Glad to hear it wasnt my long curly auburn hair, or my then perfect figure and gorgeous smile.
There's nothing like the thrill of driving at night on a freeway with a lot of 18 wheelers and having all the MGB lights go out. The truckers couldn't see you anymore, but you could still see their hubcaps at eye level.
My B was bad, but never THAT bad. Lord Almighty!
You know I used to think Lucas made total crap, until I started working on VWs. Bosch gives Lucas something to step in.
REALLY??
Boy that makes me feel better. I thought I had the shortest stick.
That little Brit car was high maintenance, but there was an almost Zen quality to her upkeep.
You are a man who appreciates the finer things in life.
The Pacer (and the Corvair, the MGB, and others) show up in FReeper comments throughout the post, along with more than a few horror stories.
One of my brothers had a Corvair. What a piece of work THAT was.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.