Fear not, smart women

A bitter pill that even intelligent people have to sometimes swallow is that people tend to be romantically rejected for substantive, rather than shallow reasons. This is true for men or women.

Exactly right. And this is especially true when you have held off from romance for a period of years when the masses are breeding like bunny rabbits.

The problem here is that people who have matured past their 20s or so do not focus totally on the availability of sex without regard for the consequences as criteria for romance.

By that time, many have had their experiences with enough losers that they are not so prone to plunge into a bad relationship just because the other person looks good and offers easy sex.

A few months ago, a friend and I were sitting in a bar during happy hour on a Friday when this really attractive woman walked in the door. Every guy in the place stopped talking and just looked at her, she was that nice.

To my surprise, she walked right up to the guy I was sitting with and gave him a big smile and a friendly kiss, and then they engaged in small talk like long-lost friends for a few minutes before she walked away.

"WOW" sez I, "what's up with THAT?"

"Oh, that's Amber, that chick I told you about, I broke up with her last spring."

"Man, how could you break up with her, she is FIIIIIINE!" I opined.

"Yeah, but's she's really, really nuts..." was his reply.

That was to HIS credit, and it was a distinction he'd have completely ignored in his late teens or 20s.

I leave not hating them, just... tired, and in need of safe solitude. And grateful to go back to only having to do dishes 4 times a week, as opposed to 10.

That said, relationships are a lot of work, and the longer it goes on, sometimes the tougher it gets. The rewards are worth it but the commitment has to be total, and it very often isn't...note our high divorce rate.

Better to be alone than with the wrong man. That's what I was thinking before Mr. Right found me, and I would still be thinking that, even if he hadn't! It goes the same for men too.

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