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A Senior's Advice on Law Enforcement...

George Phillips, 65, of Meridian, Mississippi, was going up to bed when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window.

George opened the back door to go turn off the light but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things. He phoned the police, who asked, "Is someone in your house?" and he said "no". Then they said that all patrols were busy, and that he should simply lock his door and an officer would be along when available.

George said, "Okay," hung up, counted to 30, and phoned the police again.

"Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people in my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now cause I've just shot them all." Then he hung up.

Within five minutes three police cars, an armed response unit, and an ambulance showed up at the Phillips residence and caught the burglars red-handed.

One of the policemen said to George: "I thought you said that you'd shot them!"

George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"

Cough Syrup

John was a clerk in a small drugstore but he was not much of a salesman.
He could never find the item the customer wanted. Bob, the owner, had had
about enough and warned John that the next sale he missed would be his last.

Just then a man came in coughing and he asked John for their best cough
syrup. Try as he might John could not find the cough syrup. Remembering
Bob's warning he sold the man a box of laxatives and told him to take it
all at once. The customer did as John said and then walked outside and
leaned against a lamp post.

Bob had seen the whole thing and came over to ask John what had transpired.

"He wanted something for his cough but I couldn't find the cough syrup.
I substituted a laxative and told him to take it all at once" John explained.

"Laxatives won't cure a cough" Bob shouted angrily.

"Sure it will" John said, pointing at the man leaning on the lamp post.
"Look at him. He's afraid to cough."