Posted on 03/17/2007 1:44:41 PM PDT by rface
That's probably a good way of thinking about it. I'm not much into ceremonies. Most people are.
I'm not correct and neither are they. It's just one of those personal preference things.
Okay, actually I am right, but this one of those things I'm willing to be tolerant about...
Good!
sw
I wouldn't go, but I'd send a giant tube of Vaseline and some sand and glue soaked condoms as a wedding present.
Woo-hoo! Good for you! Compassionate, open-minded, accepting, and loving. Wish everyone had those attributes! Have a good time!
"No. One's presence at a wedding ceremony is tacit approval of it."
No way is attending someone's wedding showing approval.
I went to my niece's wedding. She's family.
She married a loser. I knew it before the wedding, but it wasn't my place to guide her since she had a mother and father and lives 1000 miles away. They married six years ago...she works two jobs and he's still lazy......
You can't attend a gay "wedding" or civil ceremony except as a celebrant (you're not being invited as an observer). And you can't celebrate something you know is wrong. You also cannot stand among the portion of society who recognizes this abomination, especiallly in such a way that they cannot distinguish what you think about it. A gentleman cannot protest a ceremony which he is attending, therefore, standing by silently is the equivalent of condoning it.
Your cousin is doing wrong. He put you in a difficult situation from the beginning and you already made your mistake: you and your wife knowingly (I presume) accepted him and his friend from the beginning as a couple in to your home.
If he had visited your family with his boyfriend, but treated him only as a friend, with no hint of a sexual or romantic relationship, you could have decently accepted them into your home socially. But what you did is really no different than, say, inviting your married cousin and his mistress to spend the weekend, knowing he was cheating on his wife.
Don't get trapped or baited by the "gay" issue here. It is an immoral sexual relationship which decent society does not accept. (In fact, the very definition of decent society is how it behaves in such situations.)
You and your wife must decline the wedding invitation. A polite person will not say why, explicitly; one does not decline a wedding invite with a reason -- just 'I regret I cannot attend'.
Because of your more intimate relationship with him, your cousin may ask you why. It is then you can, if you wish, explain why you cannot celebrate with him or recognize the relationship. Or, if he asks you why, you can say, "Because it would be impossible," and say nothing more.
You also have an obligation to love your cousin, and not treat him harshly. You must treat him with kindness and gentleness.
Keep in social contact with your cousin, but only by himself -- never as a couple (at least in your own home or in situations over which you have some control). If you really want to socialize in some way with the pair, bring them to a good church service where they can hear the gospel.
It is not likely this relationship will last. Now is the time to lay a better foundation so that later, when they break up, your cousin will know you still love him and you will have a friendship. Keep in contact with him singly.
And do not let your childhood or teenaqe years influence your adult relationship. You are now grown up. The past has no bearing on what is right and wrong for you to do now.
This is an untenable position. What is "special" about a sexually immoral public ceremony? You cannot have it both ways.
Another fallacious, sentiment-based decision. It is exactly the kind of thinking that homosexual activists have successfully fostered and preyed on for their tremendous success.
God is more important than family. Playing both sides on this issue by attending ceremonies shows one lacks integrity.
If we have to stand against our families in order to stand with God, we need to do so.
Again, more ridiculous thinking. The reception celebrates what just happened in the ceremony. One cannot celebrate something immoral.
No wonder the homosexual agenda has been so successful. People don't even think any more.
If you like perversion, go for it...
Myself, I would stay as far away as possible.
Listen to the logic of your statement. You just equated their real wedding with the fake homosexual union.
One is not like the other. Reciprocity is not the issue.
We cannot compromise on matters of morality. All these compromises on our side are leading to the eventual complete embracing of homosexual marriage in our country. Bit by bit, we're moving there. By the next generation, there will be very few people who even understand there is a disagreement on this issue -- it will be accepted as 'consensus.'
The opposite is true, but this is not about making a point. It is about participating in an immoral celebration just so we don't step on toes. But if you want to make it about points: Not going makes the point one may not approve (even without stating an answer). Attending makes the affirmative point of participating in their mad little fantasy.
"It being the ceremony itself, not the resume of the person's future spouse."
Has nothing to do with the resume. It has to do with the character, FRiend.
I can't believe this board. I guess FReepers have been duped by the homosexual agenda.
You can hardly equate calling your niece's intended 'a loser' with two men having sex and calling it marriage. What a dumb example.
And yes, attending a wedding is tacit approval. Except for people who don't have the integrity and courage to stand up for what they believe it.
I attended my best friend's wedding knowing that I disliked her husband, because although I believed I was very right about my opinion, it was still just my opinion. I could not have attended had she chosen to "marry" a woman, because I don't base my belief that homosexual marriage is wrong on "my opinion."
"Mr. and Mrs. Smith regret that they are unable to accept Mr. Jones' and Mr. Black's kind invitation for June 1." (formal)
"Dear cousin, thank you for the invitation to your June 1 event. My wife and I are, regrettably, unable to attend. Please stay in touch! And say hi to your friend Ted for us. Love, your cousin." (casual)
Nothing more needs to be said. The ceremony isn't even given a name.
Polite people do not decline invitations with a reason they can't attend. They just decline. Those doing the inviting must accept this, and cannot presume to suspect the reason, except that perhaps a previous engagement . This is what makes etiquette work. If they press the invitee for a reason, they are overstepping the bounds of propriety. Don't fall into these traps.
Except for the green card situation, which is illegal, these examples are comparing apples and oranges. This is not about not liking the partner, or being comfortable, or going along to get along. Suspecting someone is marrying for money is not the same thing has knowing he is marrying another man.
I can't believe this thread. FReepers are indistiguishable from leftists here.
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