Posted on 04/22/2007 10:20:47 PM PDT by nickcarraway
Conventional wisdom has long held that a strong and silent man is unlikely to ask for help when he needs it, putting him at a disadvantage when he's hurt.
Following a trauma, the theory goes that these kinds of men clam up emotionally, are more likely to abuse alcohol and drugs and avoid showing they're vulnerable in any way.
But new research from the University of Missouri-Columbia shows that "manly" men may in fact benefit from sticking to this traditional notion of masculinity, particularly when it comes to recovering from serious injuries.
In Pictures: How To Kick That Spare Tire In Pictures: America's Most Luxurious Gyms The small exploratory study, published last year in the American Psychological Association's journal Psychology of Men and Masculinity, found this group showed a greater improvement from the time they were initially hospitalized to one year after they left the hospital.
"Guys who are tough or have a clear vision of what they want strive for success and status," says Glenn Good, associate professor of educational, school and counseling psychology at the University of Missouri and co-author of the study. "Maybe that gives them motivation to work harder and persist longer."
The Study
Participants in the study included 52 men, ages 18 to 91, who'd experienced traumatic brain or spinal cord injuries and were undergoing rehabilitation. The majority had a high school education and two-thirds were employed. They each responded to more than 175 questions or statements about their masculinity, attitudes toward seeking psychological assistance, abilities to perform daily tasks, barriers preventing them from doing what they want and overall life satisfaction.
Bad news at the doc's office? Here's what you need to know when you get a troubling diagnosis. The results did show, as you might expect, that those who believed men should restrict expression of their emotions were less in favor of seeking psychological help.
But there also was a connection between men who conformed to masculine norms, such as a tendency toward self-reliance and risk-taking, and those who reported fewer barriers to functioning in their communities. While the findings need further study, one possible explanation is that feeling manly helped the men overcome adversity and persevere, as though nothing could stop them from conquering a goal.
"It may help them say, 'Despite the fact that life as I knew it is over, I have this goal of being able to stand up or walk, and I want to make sure I achieve that,'" Good says.
Overcoming Injury
Irmo Marini, a professor in health sciences and human services at the University of Texas-Pan American, thinks the study is on to something.
Marini fractured his neck in 1981 at age 23 when he was playing hockey for Lakehead University in Thunder Bay, Ontario. In an instant, he went from being an able-bodied athlete to being a wheelchair-bound quadriplegic. But a year after his injury, he says, he found that sense of discipline and need to succeed he'd felt as an athlete returning. For instance, because he can't fully grip with his hands, Marini ties tensor bandages around his wrists and hands to hold weights so he can lift. That stubbornness, often associated with machismo, paid off.
"It's almost like, for myself and some others I know, we've taken the physical discipline we had before our injuries and turned it into mental discipline," he says.
Marini, who has a Ph.D. in rehabilitation counseling from Auburn University, says people with military experience tend to have this sense of discipline too. He also believes the benefits of this way of thinking might extend to people with lesser injuries.
Stressed out? Click here to see why some say seeing the glass as half full can benefit your health. If you're not particularly manly, Good says it's possible that some men in rehabilitation recovering from injuries could try to pick up the behavior, since masculinity is something men learn through socialization. But he adds a note of caution.
"Being a real tough authoritarian kind of guy might be helpful on the football team, or if you're a policeman or military officer," he says. "But it also can make you a bad partner or father. Having some flexibility about when you implement this is important."
For the record, I thought Cho Sueng-Hui whined too much about nothing, making him the center of attention, as if the rest of the world didn't exist in it's relative normal state.
How about this: If hunting suits you, then hunt. If sitting home and knitting suits you, then knit. It’s the guys who bend themselves out of shape doing what they’re “supposed” to be doing who finally snap.
Most men generally find some sort of outlet for their aggressions. My husband likes to go out and hit other people with sticks about once or twice a week.
I mentioned this on another thread. I know a young fellow who is a gentleman, a bit of a geek, very cute, and often has a flock of girls around him. He's hard working, an excellent cook, and can sew. I can talk to him about almost anything. He complains to me that he has trouble finding a steady girlfriend. Especially one who isn't a psycho. If the girls his age see him as I do, it's no wonder. He's more of a "hairy girl friend" than a manly man.
I agree. Pick up a hobby, or something you enjoy, and leave the rest of us the hell alone.
The ones who get drug kicking, screaming, and whining to the shopping mall have no control of their own lives. Besides, I like going to the shopping mall. I know some go just for the pleasure of walking, and nothing else. Some go just to jog their miles for the day. (you find a lot of that in the northern climates in the winter time)
Not to mention, there are few things sadder or more annoying than some guy pretending to be a “manly man.”
Sounds a lot like me, except I haven't mastered the technique of sewing. My dearly departed grandmother taught my brother and I how to crochet when we were about 6 years old.
I've got quite a number of girl friends in my social circle who have confidence and enough trust in me to say whatever is on their mind, even if it's a personal problem. I think if we all lived sheltered lives with problems mounting inside us, we'd all go crazy.
I agree. Nothing grates me more than some goof thinking he's more manly than the rest of the male species, just because some of us happen to expand our horizons beyond hunting, NASCAR, and tinkering with the car in the garage.
I happen to know a female FReeper who enjoys deer hunting in the fall. Her and her husband make a weekend of it. They're both teachers, and have a cabin in the woods.
I jokingly asked her if she was ever a tomboy in school, she said she was far from it.
One more thing.... Are you aware that this conservative political forum is occupied by approximately 70% women...gasp! We are not all the enemy! Imagine that.
I was once like that when I was a child and grandchild. Always wanting my way. I learned later (little older and a little wiser) to get my way, I had to take control of my life. :)
:) Don’t we all.
It’s not a contest as to who is more manly.
Laurie Anderson
L
Ricardo Montalban. He can sell Corinthian leather like no one else. ;)
I haven't thought about that song in years.
The fact that you and I remember that Corinthian leather reference really dates us.
L
Being manly is good for you because it’ll keep bullies from beating the crap out of you everyday, thereby reducing your chance of permanently ending up in a wheelchair?
LOL, it was a good selling point. My grandparents bought one of them "boats". It put my grandfather back in my grandmother's good graces after the "new sofa" he bought her, which was actually 4-wheel drive pickup truck.
> For the record, I thought Cho Sueng-Hui whined too much about nothing, making him the center of attention, as if the rest of the world didn’t exist in it’s relative normal state.
I’ll go one further. Read with an uncritical eye (ignoring for a moment that a monster wrote it) the filthy drivel that Cho Seung-Hui wrote, and a fair minded person will find that he had an interesting and tragic sense of irony.
And a very sorrowful world-view. Consider:
This crim had a very poor way of expressing what he felt, and a definitely wrong-headed view on life, and very little talent as a writer. A barely tolerable grasp of the English languange. But his sense of Irony was interesting. “Mr Brownstone” was a really good example of this.
Here you’ve got these kids, who have sneaked into a casino because they can’t hang out anywhere else, for some reason. Using fake ID to get in and thus breaking the rules. Playing the slots like they are not supposed to do. And they have been “a$$-raped” by an all-powerful maths teacher, “Mr Brownstone”. Their universal Nemesis.
They talk and bitch and complain about the guy, and Lo! He appears! (Speak of the Devil...)
Even worse, one of them just won the BIG JACKPOT!!! Suddenly, they are wealthy as Croesus!
But wait! There’s more...
They get ripped off by Mr Brownstone once again! They get a$$-raped in their moment of triumph, and this is allowed to happen because they have broken the arbitrary rules (they are underage) and nobody will believe them.
The System throws them out. Mr Brownstone the A$$-raper triumphant, as usual. As always.
The tale ends with empty threats and the powerless impotent vitupritation. We’ll get you!!! We’ll get you!!!
With the clear implication that this scenario is going to re-play itself again and again and again and again in their lives...
Ironic. Tragic. Sick. Sad. Sorrowful.
Am I a softie or liberal because I can see this in this sicko’s writings? I don’t believe so, I know that I’m not.
But I *do* believe it is important to “First know the enemy...”
Doesn’t mean I agree with ‘em. I just prefer to Know Them.
Very practical. LOL.
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