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Vanity: Raising a family in Florida

Posted on 05/10/2007 6:40:31 PM PDT by CertainInalienableRights

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To: CertainInalienableRights
We are all mostly crazy down here.
The friendly and harmlessly insane, still control most of the state.
We debate amongst ourselves about the relative merits of enacting legislation splitting off the south eastern area of the state into a separate entity, declaring a civil war against them, or ceding the entire area to one of several foreign nations, and then declaring war against them.
The rule of thumb is - don’t go any further than you have too, south of I-4, on the east coast.
That’s where the vast majority of the truly dangerously insane and your average “run of the mill” criminally insane from other states and countries congregate.

Does that help?

41 posted on 05/10/2007 7:41:28 PM PDT by sarasmom ( The cover of my "Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy" is now flashing "Panic".)
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To: Vinnie

When I was traveling and selling in the early 80s I stopped going into Dade and Broward when I noticed how many other salesmen carried guns in their cars. I don’t need to sell anything badly enough to risk my life for it.


42 posted on 05/10/2007 7:44:08 PM PDT by ChildOfThe60s (If you can remember the 60s......you weren't really there)
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To: Vinnie

When I was traveling and selling in the early 80s I stopped going into Dade and Broward when I noticed how many other salesmen carried guns in their cars. I don’t need to sell anything badly enough to risk my life for it.


43 posted on 05/10/2007 7:44:54 PM PDT by ChildOfThe60s (If you can remember the 60s......you weren't really there)
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To: CertainInalienableRights

I live 3 counties north of Fort Lauderdale. Housing is cheaper up this way and with the softening of the market sellers are lowering their prices. But the drive via the Florida Turnpike or 95 would be a big pain during rush hours. I can’t really tell you how long of a drive it would be since between here and there are a lot of those highway boondoggles called “ under construction” Went to Miami today and it was about a 2 hour drive.

You could look for housing in Martin County. Houses are more expensive but the schools are a lot better. I forget, do you have children in school? There are several private schools and two Catholic schools in the area.

Rural areas are becoming scarce. In Palm Beach County you are most likely going to find it out by Wellington, a very posh Equis- oh heck horsey area or out in the Acreage.
Jupiter which is in North Palm Beach has a lot of rural area but development is encroaching there too. Rural area is usually west of 1-95. St. Lucie still has quite a bit of rural agricultural land but as I said the commute might be a problem.

Fair warning homeowner’s insurance rates are a problem. Many companies are not writing new policies and the ones that are seem to view consumers as the goose that lays the golden egg.

Whatever you do. If you decide to build a home please check out the Florida lein laws. We have some real gotcha ones which can leave the homeowner holding the bag is a contractor does not pay his subs.

A good website with information about State agencies, the Florida Statutes, etc is www.myflorida.com

PS. Most Floridians think the turn signal is an exotic tracking device put there by a nefarious fearless leader.


44 posted on 05/10/2007 7:50:45 PM PDT by lastchance (Hug your babies.)
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To: CertainInalienableRights
I grew up in St. Augustine, one of the most beautiful parts of Florida. I now live in Missouri- in the Kansas City area. You could not pay me enough to move back. I do miss surfing and the beach at times. I have to say it's the bugs. As a kid you don't know any better, because you don't know anything else. I am 33, so much about Florida has probably changed. My youth was spent swatting mosquitos, smashing banana spiders off my face (if you don't know what these things are, find a picture-LOL) while running through the dense palmetto undergrowth of every Florida forest, and dancing like a maniac every time I "discovered" one of the million fire ant hills. They call them "hills" and not "mounds" for a reason. You can't lay down or play on your lawn- BIG NO NO. If the chiggers don't get into your pants, the sand fleas will eat your shorts off instead. And everyone knows at least one kid who had to go to the ears, nose, and throat doctor to get a cockroach pulled out of his/her head. Every open container/box of edible anything goes into the refrigerator. The cockroaches in Florida drink insecticide and wear tattoos. Do you know what a stink bug is? Better just to leave them alone. Snakes and alligators depend upon where you live or play. Don't live on a canal. I remember the kid at the corner of the canal where one of my childhood houses was got his picture in the paper for wrestling an alligator. The thing came under the boy's chain link fence and snatched his Jack Russel. The boy, brave kid, pulled on the other end of the dog and managed to get it back, well the dog and three legs anyway. Did I mention fire ants? Man! I hate those things. Oh, if you live south of Orlando you might also pick up the nasty bull ant. It is like a giant fire ant on steroids. You can't grow anything except tropical plants. The soil can't be amended because the sand will just suck the good soil down. If you do manage to get something going and the sun doesn't burn it up, the multitude of fungi or insects will finish the rest. I guess melons and tomatoes do ok- if you can keep the squirrels away. Good luck on that one. So, if you like gardening, Florida is not going to be kind to you. Even if you find the flowers and such that do well, you will develop a nervous habit of checking your feet and hands about every 30 seconds to make sure you didn't put either into an ant hill. You'll grab up roots from crab grass or weeds and they'll come shooting out like they are on a fire drill. I guess if you live on a boat you'll have a decent time. I do miss sailing. You can't see through the inland waters because of the tanic acid from the trees. It turns the water a deep brown (looks black from the surface) You'll learn to swim without fear of all the nasties down there if you grow up doing it. Most visitors won't take the plunge. I always had a good laugh when a visiting relative or friend would go water skiing and either ski over the back or in proximity to an alligator. They would go down, but they would hold onto the ski rope for dear life. You'd have to hang them upside down to drain all the water from their head-LOL. Termites- good heavens, how could I forget. Keep in mind that a house in Florida isn't assessed by "if" it has termites. It is inspected as to how many and how bad is the damage. I could go on and on. The people are golden, but Florida will forever be the "great place to visit, but I wouldn't want to live there". Florida would never have been populated if it were not for air conditioning. Any summer day, walk out and you break into a sweat as soon as you open the door. A cotton shirt will soak up the humidity like a dish sponge in a five gallon bucket of water. Ok, I'll stop with this one last thought- the people are golden. Whether native or transplant, I absolutely adore the people of Florida.
45 posted on 05/10/2007 7:53:02 PM PDT by DanielLongo (Don't tread on me)
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To: CertainInalienableRights

PS.

The Palm Beach Diocese has a wonderful Bishop. I don’t know much about the Miami Diocese. I think St. Martin de Porres in Jensen Beach has a Latin mass on Sunday evenings.


46 posted on 05/10/2007 7:55:05 PM PDT by lastchance (Hug your babies.)
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To: Scarchin

They is rite the skools is turrible.


47 posted on 05/10/2007 7:56:35 PM PDT by lastchance (Hug your babies.)
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To: jmj3jude

Hey I live in PSL also. Nice to meet a neighbor. Which parish do you attend? We usually go to either St. Mark’s in Fort Pierce or Holy Family.


48 posted on 05/10/2007 7:57:59 PM PDT by lastchance (Hug your babies.)
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To: Vinnie

LOL. You have to see my post#45.
Amen, Brother!


49 posted on 05/10/2007 7:58:06 PM PDT by DanielLongo (Don't tread on me)
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To: IYAAYAS
there is no where better on the planet for a single male. 2nd street on a Saturday night here is truly an amazing thing.

I'm on my way down brother.
50 posted on 05/10/2007 8:05:43 PM PDT by Vision ("Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him." Jeremiah 17:7)
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To: CertainInalienableRights

I’ll never forget my first visit to Florida, New Port Richey, to be precise. I flew into, I believe, Ft. Lauderdale. I’d heard so much about Florida, it was apparently so nice that people went there for their vacations. I thought it must be paradise.

Was I in for a shock. I thought I’d died and gone to hell. It was so hot and humid, even in the middle of the night, that my hair was sweating. It took me three days to cool off once I got home (California).

Without getting into further details, such as slowpoke traffic, hideous scenery, and some serious white trash people (not all, but quite a lot), I hated it there.

I don’t know what it’s like in Ohio, I know you have snow there and there’s DEFINITELY no snow in Florida, but I’d take a trip down there and check it out for yourself before making any commitments.


51 posted on 05/10/2007 8:09:21 PM PDT by Auntie Mame (Fear not tomorrow. God is already there.)
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To: CertainInalienableRights
I've been told by people that work for this company that they have a difficult time getting people with families to locate from the midwest to Florida. The general feeling up here is that Florida isn't exactly a "family friendly" place to raise children due to the conspicuous wealth, crime, drugs, population, etc.

Crime way down since concealed gun law was passed here. Drugs are only a problem if you are into that. I don't even notice a drug problem since I'm not into that scene.

Are reasonable parcels of land available an hour outside an area like Fort Lauderdale (away from the coast) - I'd like something around 5 acres.

An hour away from the coast you are in the middle of Alligator Alley where there is nothing. South Florida population pretty well within about 15 miles of each coast with nothing much in between.

I'm currently single, in my late 30s, but I still have hopes of having a family.

Learn Spanish and meet lots of hot Latina chicks.

Lastly, what does a conservative Christian (Catholic) Ohio boy need to know about life in Florida?

Based on the parenthesis, you should have no hangups with drinking good rum. I recommend Flor de Cana. Aged rum. Drink hearty and enjoy the hot Latina chicks. BTW, I used to live in the Cleveland area (Euclid Park).

52 posted on 05/10/2007 8:10:39 PM PDT by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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To: PJ-Comix
Euclid Park, isn't that where Harvey Pekar is from?

BTW: Have you made it to Pellegrino's in Deerfield yet? Celebrated my birthday there last month.

53 posted on 05/10/2007 8:13:07 PM PDT by Clemenza (Rudy Giuliani, like Pesto and Seattle, belongs in the scrap heap of '90s Culture)
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To: CertainInalienableRights

OK, BTDT, So here’s the scoop from my experience.

I grew up rural also, on Long Island (way,way out on LI, AKA “The Boonies”), then lived in rural NJ for years, before deciding, when my daughter was a toddler, that I hated the cold and hated being surrounded by liberal idiots, and we needed to move south. Our choices were Atlanta or Ft. Lauderdale (we had family in each place, and we didn’t want to go where we didn’t know anyone). Against my hubby’s better judgement, and without having seen ATL, I pushed and begged for Ft. Lauderdale (near my relatives), and so we went. The two years we spent there were the longest, most awful of my entire life!!!!!!

Here is what you can expect from a move to SoFla:

The Pros:
-As mentioned before, awesome Cuban food. Also, great seafood.
-Mild “winters”, in which “freezing” means you ought to wear a sweater or at least some long sleeves.
-Some pretty beaches, ***if*** you know where to go, and if you know where the metered parking lots are, as most of the “good” beaches cost 10 dollars or more to park at.
-Some pleasant places on the Intracoastal Waterway where you can spend some very pleasant hours looking at some beautiful views and boats.

And now The Cons:
-Expect to be treated as though you are untrustworthy and a petty thief wherever you go. Every cashier will scrutinize your signature when you use a credit card. Many will ask for a second form of ID. You will be required to pay huge deposits for initial startup of your utilities (it will be refunded after you prove yourself by actually paying your bill for a year.) This is SOP down there, as it is a very transient area.
-The cost of home owner’s insurance is outrageous since the last round of hurricanes. My aunt lives in a small 3BR villa (attached, one story home), and her insurance is running her 4K a year, because the house wasn’t built in the last few years with the newest building codes. Many insurance companies are just pulling out of the state altogether.
-Fort Lauderdale beach is overrun with teens, homeless, indigents, tourists, etc.. It sounds and smells like loud music and cars. If that’s your scene, you’ll be thrilled, I hated it.
-Everything is FLAT, and its all the same color. The soil is sandy, the buildings are flat and beige (mostly. There are some which are the hacienda style with peaked roofs and terracotta barrel tiles, and some that are painted pastel colors. You get really tired of houses that are aqua, pink, and mint) with flat roofs, and most houses have swimming pools with screenrooms built over them. The only break from the beige is the green palm trees, and tons of other green foliage, and the bright pink bougainvilleas when they are blooming.
-The weather is pleasant in “winter”, the rest of the year is so brutal, that I actually used to pray to God to make it rain and be cloudy. However, when it rains in summer, the heat gets worse, and the air fills with mist.
-You will see more butt cheeks, armpit hair, bare feet, etc. than you ever thought was possible, and that will be in supermarkets, shopping areas, doctor’s offices, restaurants, you name it. Additionally, expect to see men in no shirts in the cars stopped beside you in traffic, it seems to be a cultural thing.
-There are the biggest, strangest bugs I have ever seen down there, lizards get into your house constantly, and I have seen 6-7 foot snakes just slithering along in broad daylight.
-People drive and behave aggressively towards pedestrians. When you park your car and begin to cross a parking lot, you’d best step lively, because it almost seems as though the drivers are trying to run you down. If you and another person are heading for the door of an establishment, even if you are pushing a baby carriage or carrying a small child, most times the other person will hustle to get through the door before you (and let it slam in your face).
-They also drive aggressively on the road. It is almost a shock to see someone actually use their turn signals, and its common for people to race each other in between the other cars. My aunt (after 30 years down there) says that the reason she doesn’t use them is because when she does, the other people are clued in to what she is planning to do, and they deliberately try to get in her way. Keep in mind though, that a large percentage of these people are liberal transplants from the northeast who are letting their real selves hang out, and this all will not surprise you.
-There are a lot of people, in the winter, from Canada. The French ones are very rude to everyone, its a running joke down there among the natives. There are also lots and lots and lots of old people.
-The housing prices are INSANE! For example,My cousin lives in a very modest ranch (3Bedrooms, 2Baths) with maybe a third of an acre, and a pool, in a town called Sunrise. The other houses on her street (she is nowhere near any water, besides a canal at the end of the street) are currently selling for over 300k., and they are about 20 years old, IIRC. The canals, which are legion there, are basically trenches that run alongside many roads, which usually have a few feet of water in them (and alligators), and are considered desirable to live on. Many people fish in them and row/canoe/kayak, and many small animals get eaten.
-And the clincher for us, was when we drove past a middle school in Plantation (just west of Ft.L.) as the kids were getting out of school. The girls had shorts and belly shirts on that left very little to the imagination, the boys were dressed like street thugs, and they were (mis)behaving like college kids already. Some boys had their hands on the girls’ behinds as they were walking along, a couple were smoking, some were kissing, etc., and these kids were 11-14 years old. I was 3 months pregnant with my second child at the time, and we decided on the spot that we were going to move again, because we realized that otherwise, this is what our children would be dealing with someday.

We went to ATL to visit for a weekend, and experienced culture shock. There were scripture verses and inspirational quotes outside not only churches, but also car dealerships and other businesses. People ran to open the doors ***for*** us. Everyone was fully, and tastefully, clothed, and the children all looked like their parents. They were well groomed, nicely dressed, and perfectly behaved, even the teenagers. The housing prices were awesome too, so we went home and started planning our move! We moved to Atlanta and have never looked back. I still have nightmares that someone will force me to go live there again. I can’t even bring myself to go visit for fun, I only go as far south as Orlando.

If you are at a stage in your life that you might want to have the “experience” of living in that kind of anything goes kind of place for a while, then go for it and get it out of your system! However, if you are already past all of that and are looking to establish your foundation somewhere, it is probably not the place for you. Sorry this is so long, but I would hate to see a fellow Freeper make the same mistake I did! Hope it helps!


54 posted on 05/10/2007 8:13:24 PM PDT by VRWCer ("The Bible is the Rock on which this Republic rests." - President Andrew Jackson)
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To: CertainInalienableRights
Moved from south Florida after living there for 20 years. Now live between Ocala and Gainesville (hour and a half north of Orlando, hour and half southeast of Jacksonville). Whole different world and we love it. We have six children and we are very happy with the move. I couldn’t wait to get out of south Florida. South FL was expensive, crowded, overbuilt; rude, obnoxious New Yorkers (I was one 20+ years ago, so I know), illegals who don’t speak English. Very liberal in southeast Florida, check the 2004 election map. Miami-Dade, Broward and Palm Beach counties (southeast Florida) all blue. We felt very alone there. Vast majority of rest of state red. Unfortunately, the growth is coming to north Florida, but there are several areas that are still unspoiled, and hopefully the politicians will keep it that way.
55 posted on 05/10/2007 8:13:55 PM PDT by ripnbang ("the difference between a welfare state and totalitarianism is a matter of time")
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To: Clemenza
If you are a conservative American Christian, DO NOT MOVE to Broward or Palm Beach Counties. Whatever areas are not dominated by Caribs in Broward are dominated by New Yorkers and Canucks. Westonzuela is the nicest town in Broward, and that's not saying much.

That's outdated info. Not so many folks from NY anymore down here. "Westonzuela" is BOOOORING. Nice homes but way outside of any fun action. Best places are near the beach. Learn Spanish and become a "Gringo Mascota" like me. I go to parties and all the chicks want to dance with me. Oh, and drinking lots of rum helps. It also helps one forget how really lousy Venezuelan/Colombian music is. But, hey, with all the hot chicks, who cares?

56 posted on 05/10/2007 8:14:38 PM PDT by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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To: CertainInalienableRights

Here in the Acreage, zip code 33411, Royal Palm Beach area, the vacant lots are 1.25 acres and run from $150-200k. For another $200k you can have a 3/2/2 house built on it. Not a big house, about 2000sf under air. There are 2/2 condos for about $200k. It’s about an hour drive on the Turnpike to Ft. Lauderdale. Taxes on the home would be around $6000, and insurance around the same. You better rent a duplex or a small apt. if you are solo. Get yourself acquainted with the area, the lifestyles etc. before committing to a purchase. I,m here 38 years and still love it, but it,s getting so damned expensive to stay here much longer.


57 posted on 05/10/2007 8:15:14 PM PDT by Ron in Acreage (VOTE DEMOCRAT--TERRORISTS ARE COUNTING ON IT)
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To: Auntie Mame
I’ll never forget my first visit to Florida, New Port Richey

NPR is nice. My grandmother retired there and it was beautiful. Hot, but beautiful.
58 posted on 05/10/2007 8:16:12 PM PDT by Vision ("Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him." Jeremiah 17:7)
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To: PJ-Comix

Plenty of ex-New Yorkers (not all of them Jewish, contrary to the stereotype) in Liquordale, Coral Springs, and Parkland, but those areas are extensions of PBC anyway. You are correct, however, in that the Carib tribe has replaced the Twelve Tribes in the inland condo communities of Lauderhill, North Lauderdale, Tamarac, etc. The Latinos tend to prefer Pembroke Pines, Hollywood, Westonzuela, and (increasingly) Davie and Cooper City.


59 posted on 05/10/2007 8:19:08 PM PDT by Clemenza (Rudy Giuliani, like Pesto and Seattle, belongs in the scrap heap of '90s Culture)
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To: lastchance

I go so St. Elizabeth Ann Seaton. Where is PSL do you live?


60 posted on 05/10/2007 8:21:59 PM PDT by jmj3jude
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