Posted on 05/25/2007 3:58:59 AM PDT by Kaslin
Last year, in response to the increasing numbers of women opting out of the workforce, author Linda Hirshman took to the morning shows proclaiming women demean themselves by becoming fulltime mothers. No matter how much love goes into the labor of cleaning the dishes and changing the diapers, it is beneath their dignity, she insisted.
For the most part, the stay-at-home crowd yawned, flipped the channels and cheerfully returned to the debasing business of shuttling the kids from school to soccer practice. However, while the latest feminist general to take the field in the Mommy Wars has the same end in mind—the return of all women to fulltime work—her battle plan seems far more likely to yield results. Rather than shaming women back into the office, she attempts to scare them into it.
In her new book, The Feminine Mistake, Vanity Fair writer Leslie Bennetts charges that women who step-back from working are taking an extreme economic risk. Book critics and editorialists at major papers and women’s magazines have tended to agree. They may not all appreciate her tone, but they still applaud Bennetts for issuing a “wake-up call” to wives who depend on their men to provide for the family.
Yet if off-ramping is the dangerous “high-stakes gamble” Bennetts and her supporters claim, why are so many smart, rational women laying their money and their futures on the table? Perhaps because even a cursory look at hard data (rather than the collection of sad stories Bennetts has put forth) indicates that, statistically, there is very little to fear from making motherhood a career choice. Indeed, having one partner out of the workforce can actually provide protection against financial ruin.
According to work-first feminists, the scariest bogeyman looming over women who stay home is divorce. Men leave their wives high and dry all the time, she insists. In fact, they don’t. Women initiate about two-thirds of divorces, so the idea that droves of middleclass men are blindsiding their spouses with abandonment is almost as much a fantasy as Prince Charming once was.
Of course, that still leaves the third who will not initiate their divorces, but research demonstrates that the women Bennetts fears for most are the least likely to be a part of that group. Among wives with at least a bachelors degree (the demographic that stands to lose the most career ground by stepping back from the workforce) only 16 percent will divorce within ten years. Given that 60 percent of all divorces occur within that time frame, educated opt-out moms are playing very good odds.
The statistics are also favorable for stay-at-home mothers in general. During the 90s, stay-at-home wives were 40 percent less likely to get divorced than their working counterparts. A 2004 study in the Journal of Marriage and Family revealed that couples have a much greater chance of splitting when the husband and wife earn equal incomes than when one partner is the primary breadwinner. When the higher-earning partner does leave, it is most often the wife.
Numerous studies have found that the better able a man is to provide financially (thus making the option of a stay-at-home wife more feasible) the less likely a couple is to end their union. Taken all together, this makes the average middleclass husband seem about as much of a financial risk as a blue-chip stock.
Still, Bennetts and her supporters argue, a woman who does not work fulltime, uninterrupted over the course of her life puts her family at risk even if her husband doesn’t divorce her. “Some [women] are going to have husbands who become ill or incapacitated, or who die early. And many are going to have husbands who lose their jobs at one point or another,” she warned on The Today Show.
Ignoring for a moment the obvious solution of life and long-term care insurance, she seems to have point. Yet bankruptcy data shows that in reality the opposite is true. Far from offering them a buffer against rough economic winds, women in dual-income families are more likely to face financial ruin than those in single-earner families.
Two-income couples have about a 27 percent greater probability of filing for bankruptcy than families that rely on a single paycheck. The reason for this is simple--where dual-earner families are maxed out as far as possible income and consequently have no safety net in the event of illness or unemployment, single-earner families do. Should the worst happen, the wife can return to the workforce and make up for some or all of her husband’s lost income.
“The two-income family is a more deeply leveraged economic unit, with more of its income committed to a relentless list of fixed expenses, leaving them with less flexibility in times of trouble,” wrote Harvard Law Professor, Elizabeth Warren in The Two Income Trap, a book Bennetts cites but completely misrepresents.. After years of researching bankruptcy, she concluded, “Families in the new economy, with all adults—both mom and dad—in the workforce, face much greater risks than their one-paycheck counterparts.”
Not every woman will want or be able to eschew work completely, but it is clear that a fulltime job is not the panacea of protection that feminists suggest. Sometimes the most economically sensible thing a mother can do—other than making sure that her family has adequate insurance coverage—is follow her heart home. Megan Basham is a film critic for Townhall.com
Feminists are to statistics and facts as a fish is to a bicycle!
I guess I’m just the old fashioned type guy. To require my wife to work under any circumstances is beneath my dignity. Strength and Honor.
Mommy PING.............
Why don’t these noisy, nosy busybodies just mind their own business and let the rest of us live our lives as we see fit????
SIGH! MY HERO!
I quit work when my son was born. Now that he’s grown, I’m working again.
The only disadvantage (financially) that I see is the SS credits. If you’re out of the workforce for more than 10 years, you’re in trouble should you become disabled and try to receive SS disability. A certain amount of the credits that one needs if you need to collect SS disability have to have been earned during the past 10 years. Even though I worked for 15 years before I had a child, those credits don’t all count because they weren’t earned in the past 10 years (I still loose out and have to “catch up”...so to speak, once I re-enter the workforce.)
I would not have known this if I had not been diagnosed with MS, and with the possibility of becoming disabled. Praise the Lord, that didn’t happen, the course of my disease has not been quick, I’ve been able to work from home (which has helped in accommodating the disability I do have), but that’s not always the case. Some folks with MS (or any other disabling disease) go downhill quickly.
One might argue, the “disabled” wife and family were living on one salary pre disability, so why would they need SS disability. However, the extra money provided by SS disability would help pay for things that the now disabled person was unable to do. Plus with SS disability comes the option of using Medicare and some folks that are disabled can’t get insurance any other way (due to pre-existing condition clauses.)
One other problem with being a stay-at-home mom, you can’t buy disability insurance for someone who doesn’t receive a paycheck. So once you leave the workforce, you forfeit that option too.
Would any of these things have kept me from being a stay-at-home mom...no way. It’s just an interesting “crack” in the system that I didn’t even know existed until I became diagnosed.
the debate is a healthy one. Both of my daughters aspire to be stay at home moms, but i have told them they must both be educated and have marketable skills for any “what if” scenario that might present itself. everyone does what they think is best for their family, but it has to be rooted in pragmatism. a woman must be prepared to work, should the need arise.
Please add me to your PING list.
Proud stay-at-home Mom of two boys...
I agree wholeheartedly with you, and think your advice to your daughters is excellent.
I had never “planned” on being a stay-at-home mom, but since I was already working from home, it was just a natural thing for me.
Everyone has to make the decisions they feel are best for their own situations and families, I don’t thing any are right or wrong, just different than others.
You’ve got it!
Maybe when ex Harvard President Larry Summers was wondering why women were less likely to be in hard science faculty, he was on to something. Sounds like feminist math talent is bringing down the gender.
Feminists who insist that mothers work full-time outside the home apparently don’t realize or care that being a stay-at-home mother is a full-time job. Any woman who works full-time but who still has school-aged children at home is going to burn herself out and is not going to have the time or energy that she needs to devote to her family, and especially to her husband.
Also, I read the book, The Two-Income Trap, and its authors are correct. Dual-income couples tend to spend as much money as they make. They don’t save the extra income. They quickly fall into the trap of buying more expensive houses and cars than they could afford on one income, of going further into debt than they would if only one spouse were working. Thus, if one of the spouses stops working for whatever reason (health, laid off, etc.), the family soon finds itself unable to pay its bills and debts.
“The reason for this is simple—where dual-earner families are maxed out as far as possible income and consequently have no safety net in the event of illness or unemployment, single-earner families do.”
We were on that roller-coaster ride for years when we both worked. When our son hit Middle School and started having some problems, I quit working full-time and found ways to make income from home to pay off our debts and pad our Emergency Fund. I was burned out in Corporate anyway; it was time. That way I could do the Field Trips and be the embarrassing “Room Mother” for my son and all that, LOL!
IMHO people, in general, are rather clueless as to where their income dollars go; and I’m not even talking about how many people over-pay their taxes during the course of the year when that cash-flow should be coming to THEM and not going to Uncle Sam!
Anyhow, we’ve always been “wealthier” when we were working with one income. And these past two years we’ve taken a financial hit again due to Husband starting up his own business, but that’ll pay off in the end.
Oh, and he’s had two spinal fusions in four years so Yes, Ladies - anyone can easily have a disabled husband on her hands in a heartbeat. Get your financial house in order, married or not. :)
You are so smart!
In our homeschool group, there are women who strive for their daughters to be Stay-at-Home moms. Being very traditional Catholics, the thought is that these girls will marry young and pop out 12 kids.
Not me. I need my girls to get an education, chose a carreer and marry a fine man with some money in the bank or a home behind them. Build life with a husband or build it yourself but be prepared.
Because they just can’t...As you put it so well they are...noisy, nosy busybodies. I love working from home. I’ve done both & I love being able to do my job yet be able to be on FR whenever I want to be. If my daughter is sick I can take care of her. I think its much better for my child as we spend time together & I am much happier too. ~Pandora~
my husband is blue chip stock! Cool!
I wasn't aware of that--how is he doing?
stay-at-home wives were 40 percent less likely to get divorced than their working counterparts.
That makes definite sense. I mean how in the world can they divorce? Yes the husband will give some of the paycheck, but for most you can’t live on that. I have seen some women get divorced after the kids are out of the house, but typically stay at home moms would definitely wait to get divorced.
Here’s another little twist:
Stay-at-home moms are in a demeaning position of cleaning the kitchen and changing diapers.
The Day Care workers and maybe some household help.....aren’t they largely women? So are we demeaning them, as well, by condemning them to a life of cleaning kitchens and changing diapers?
I stayed home. Now, with the kids on their own, I am back and work and doing just dandy, thank you very much!
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