It’s not about “beating”. It’s about not being afraid to apply physical discipline (NOT “abuse”). I knew my parents weren’t afraid of using it. But in fact, only 1 time do I remember them spanking me. The only other times I was physically smacked sometimes - because they tell me - were when I was younger than 5, when none of us really remember anything. And it’s not just physical. Today we’ve gotten so bad we can’t even look at the dog wrong, and it’s “animal abuse”. Using voice and visual is part of the discipline, all of which is being swept away as “abusive”.
As for difficult kids - yes, some do have excessive problems that are probably innate and no discipline really changes. My nephew is 1. Wonderful, kind, thoughtful kid all his life - young and now at 20 - and smart too. But just didn’t want to do anything at or for school. He was extremely difficult; even subjects he clearly picked up on our vacation trips with him he acted like he didn’t know in school. He ended up on Ritalin. Still difficult in school, but also a go-getter self-starter for making money; imagine that. He’s still a good kid, but definitely had problems with school.
When someone's *uncomfortable* (and I'm not talking pain here, I'm talking about a constant discomfort) their body instinctively tells them to move to get away from the thing that's bothering them. When it's inside, they can't. After awhile, the body will ramp up the motivation to move with little bursts of adrealine. This causes a constant low-level anxiety. Kids can get irritable or hyper. If they've felt like this their whole lives, they don't even know enough to complain. They have no way to recognize a problem because they thing everyone feels this way.
It took us years to figure out that my son's a Celiac and years longer to find out that my daughter had huge bone spurs in her feet that made walking feel like she was barefoot on broken glass. (She just came out of the second surgery with no problems. Turns out she wasn't lazy after all.)
These problems aren't obvious. They aren't easy to pinpoint. It can take years to figure out.
Discipline is important and I'm glad I disciplined my son even though I know he had reasons for acting out the way he did. Once the problem was solved, he had a clear understanding of how he was supposed to behave and it was very easy for him to get into the swing of a normal life once the pain went away. He's also learned that Celiac disease is NOT an excuse to be an out of control jerk. He'll get exposed to gluten at some point in life and he'll be expected, as an adult, to control himself in those situations. (Heck, I can't use the PMS excuse to burn my house to the ground in frustration.)