[txroadkill]

• When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
   
• Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
   
• There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
   
• Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
   
• Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
   

• Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
   

• Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
   
• Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
   
• There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.
   
• When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
   
• Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
   
• Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
   
• Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
   
• Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
   
• Chuck Norris gave Mona Lisa that smile.
   
• Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
   
• Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost
   
• Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.
   

[FearlessFreep]

Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad.

[TheSpottedOwl]

OMG, that takes the cake!!! Hahahaha, we’re all still laughing about this :)

[TheSpottedOwl]

Chuck Norris f*cked up my computer. MS Word won’t save the post, and I had a hell of a time getting the bloody thing to print. It’s like Robert Goulet at 3:00 pm :/

[pgyanke]

I’m glad Chuck is visiting the troops and I appreciate his assessment of the morale and success of the troops... HOWEVER, I can’t believe it took until post #14 for the main reason I clicked on this thread to show up...

Thanks!

[mountn man]

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he never cries.

Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

Chuck Noris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".

Chuck Norris has two speeds. Walk, and Kill.